The Med or The Mad?

In Comparison

2011-12-17T23:38:00.000+08:00

Although there might be a lot of things that seemed frustrating and even annoying sometimes, I remind myself these are the things that are necessary to make the good things seem even better.

How will we appreciate the ups without the downs?

And the best way to approach these things is by thinking reflectively, in the big scheme of things, these worries will look minuscule in comparison. I know I'm a worrier by nature, but I would like to strive to become better as I grow ~~old~~ up.

I always tell myself: what's the meaning of life if you can't stop to smell the roses along the way and enjoy life in all its beauty?

Sense (& Sensibility)

2011-12-16T16:35:00.001+08:00

I have been giving this topic some thought as I had the pleasure of indulging myself in quiet observation of how people went about their daily matters.

It still amazes how different people are and can be even when faced with the same situation. The interaction or clash of personalities is interesting. I hope not to be thought of arrogant but somehow as I grow up, there are things that were not evident to me before that become crystal clear now.

I'm amazed at how people that I used to think sensible can now be biased in their comments, before being set straight by another. People who I thought were superficial, immature and even vulgar as growing up, unfortunately have regressed even further. I am upset that not only the latter has not progressed, the former has even regressed.

Why are some people so unjust, so unfair and so prejudiced? Is this all the product of genetics, environment or both? I believe it to be a combination of factors (as everything always is) but I pity the people who are shallow in character because they were brought up in an environment that encouraged criticism and verbal cruelty towards another human being. Just because that human being is dependent on you for work, that does not mean you can take away even their pride as a fellow human being. Would you like to be treated that way if your very circumstances were reversed?

Confucius once said: "Do not what onto others what you would not want others to do to you." It sounds like a simple statement but it is harder than ever. Whenever you are tempted to do something that disadvantages others, think again - would you like that to happen to you in their shoes? If you believe in karma and reincarnation, then do fear the repercussions of your actions, those shoes might be reversed in another life; however, as a human, even without those beliefs, you should always try to do right by yourself and others.

Of course, I'm only human and I know I have faults too. But at least I reflect on my faults and try to be better the next time. These people - they are sunk in their ignorance and continue on without any regard for others - without any change forward.

It is sad but it appears that common sense is not common at all.

Dr. As A Prefix And Other Things

2011-12-06T17:41:00.003+08:00

Apologies! I have not kept to my word to blog a little more. Perhaps nowadays I prefer to live life more in the flesh and jot a word of wisdom here only whenever I fancy? (code phrase for lazy to write :P)

Anyhow, yet again, a lot had happened since my last post. I had since sat for my last exam and had passed medical school! You can add a pretty prefix of DR. to my name now with a flourish! :D Truth to be told, I still feel weird/surreal whenever I see my name with an added Dr in front in print. Doesn't seemed to be addressed to me. Perhaps it just needs to take time to sink in.

Well, my uni had a dedication ceremony for us as my convocation ceremony is actually in april next year (don't ask me why we have to go to our convocation after we had started working!) My family attended the relatively meaningful ceremony (where we took the revised oath by the way!) and took it as an opportunity to visit perth for a week.

The family trip was fun yet tiring, coz for once, I was the leader! I made the decisions (with discussion of coz, as any good leader would do) and showed the way (no small task for someone who is no good with roads)! I think my lil sis enjoyed the trip immensely. She loved the food, and was game to try most stuff. :)

In the midst of the above, I also had to move house as my lease was coming to an end. We almost couldn't get a house because it was peak season and there was a lot of competition to lease a house! If there is something I don't like about perth, it's how immensely difficult is it to lease a house!! I thought it will be easier since both of us will not be poor students soon and will be earning honest salaries. But alas, our advances were spurned thrice before we managed to obtain a really pretty new house. (hmm I think I have been reading too many Victorian style novels that I'm starting to write like them!!)

I have a new housemate now as well as my previous housemates have either moved interstate or chose to move out solo. Anyway, I hope we will be able to make our new house into a lovely home. :) This is one of the best things I am looking forward to after graduation. (gosh, I sound like an old maid is what I would like to say, but actually as I grow up, I realised that cleaning and cooking are actually things that one needs to do to sustain oneself. you are lucky if you have someone to do it for you.) However, I am even more hopeful of a time where I will have earned enough money to have a beautiful house of my own, so I will be able to do whatever I like with my own home and not worry about inspections or putting special tape on walls so that they will not be damaged. Ah, I'm rambling again.

In conclusion, you can see from all of the above that I had definitely been keeping very very busy. I'm currently back in penang, my lovely island hometown for a well-deserved break before getting ready to break out for work as doctor!! (omgosh, how those lovely syllables roll off my tongue. :P)

By the way, did you realise that I have somehow managed to insert many brackets in this post?

I AM BACK!!

2011-11-03T11:12:00.001+08:00

HELLO! Probably no one is reading this. But I can't believe that I have not blogged for almost TWO freaking MONTHS plus!! That is like totally insane for me.

But I do have some excuses lined up. First up was that I had been away at rural without internet (except that on my mobile) for a month so that was that. Btw did I tell you I have a really amazing time during my rural GP? There were some down parts of coz like missing my good friends, but otherwise I saw and did a lot of different stuff. There were some physical stuff that I never thought I would be able to do too! It was an awesome experience!

Anyhow, I came back and started with my last rotation in med school which was the Emergency Department! Guess what? I loved it too. I am considering it as a career choice now. :P But I haven't decided if I am able to handle those grossly deformed multitrauma cases yet as I had yet to meet one in the face, so to speak. But I love the variety and the investigative approach to finding out what's the acute problem of the patient. I think it suits my personality too. :)

Okay, I apologize for not posting for so long, coz I have been busy with many things. I am moving house at the end of this month too so have been looking for a place to live. Not my favourite activity but what's gotta be done gotta be done. Am currently applying for a place so cross your fingers that we can get it. I'm moving in with someone new as my current housemates are going elsewhere. Let's hope it will all go smoothly from here, as there were a few hitches along the way. But I am really looking forward to have a nice little place of our own now, instead of a messy student place.

I better stop rambling. As usual, one of the little motivation I'm writing this now is because I'm procrastinating again. I have an ED exam tomorrow. And my end of year exams in less than 2 weeks so I probably should be cracking out the whip. But seriously I have never felt so amotivated. Probably because there is just so much to read about that you kinda give up and decide to hang your luck on whatever knowledge you have with you now. (which by the way, always escapes by osmosis everyday!)

Okay I better focus on the exam tomorrow first. STUDY STARDEEEE!!

Live & Let Die

2011-08-17T00:47:00.002+08:00

University is probably one of the last stages of life where the friends you make are more likely to be real and true.

Too bad, mine were taken away from me prematurely.

Seeing the photos of the people here having some fine last moments with their university friends in the months leading up to the end of medical school (finally!), I envy them. How nice it must be to have the same group of friends that you are comfortable with throughout your whole medical school.

I can't believe I'm still thinking about this now; but somehow this feeling that it was something that was not meant to be haunts me in a way that I can't quite explain. I suppose it's grieving. In hindsight, what I went through the first year here was perhaps the few stages of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I hope I have come to the last stage because I don't really want to regress to any of the stages. With a few more months to the end of medical school, I suppose it's time for some closure.

Live and let die.

Yay~!!!

2011-08-12T23:53:00.002+08:00

Thank the Powers To Be, I had received a job offer from Charlies in WA today! ^v^ I am so so happy and so relieved!!! Perth is where I want to be. :D

I can finally sleep in peace knowing I have a job next year! Now, I am just hoping for my good friends to get a spot in Perth too!!

Life is good! ;)

Just Me

2011-08-10T20:53:00.008+08:00

...i have just learned how sharply and painfully difficult it is to come home to a dark, dusty and empty apartment alone at night, and knowing that the same thing is going to happen tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. it doesn’t matter how loud or filled with people the preceding hours of the day were, or even if i’m brimming with happiness as i step through the door — it is an acute and exhausting acknowledgment when i brush my teeth and get ready for bed that tonight it’s going to be just me...

Was just reading Quaintly.net and this part of her post sums up exactly how I feel about long-distance relationships. She has managed to put her emotions into beautiful strings of words that stir up sentiments within.

I know it's gonna be hard, it is hard.

But great things are worth fighting for and we will continue holding on to the faith that one day we will be together again. And when that day comes, we will appreciate it even more, because it has not come easy for us.

One, Two And...

2011-08-09T20:11:00.002+08:00

Round Three tomorrow. Hope?

I wonder if it's a lottery game of luck or does it really boils down to how good you have done in your studies, CV and their essay? We will see tomorrow, I suppose.

Well at least I had really tried my best. My philosophy is if you never try, you have ZERO percent chance of success. If you at least try, you still have a better chance than if you never try at all.

I have never been a compulsive email checker especially on my iPhone. But recently, I have been checking it a few times a day, hoping to find a glimmer of hope waiting for me in my email...

I must stay optimistic!

Plateau

2011-08-04T23:47:00.000+08:00

It's funny how cynical I used to be. Not sure how different I am now actually.

But I think I really believe that optimism brings good luck. So stay optimistic!

Ironically, in another area of my life, I feel hopeful yet somewhat resigned to fate. They say there are highs and lows but I feel numb. Plateau - that's the word for it.

Do you think it can be fixed? Or does it even need fixing in the first place?

Dare I?

2011-08-02T22:36:00.000+08:00

Am currently in my second week of psychiatry posting. Am not hating it since it's pretty cruisy, but am not loving it as well, coz it's just not my cup of tea.

I either get too emotionally involved when patients tell me their sad stories (I really feel sorry for some of them! sigh) or I get too bored with the mundaneness. The interesting moments are few and far in between and probably involves me being fearful that the patient will lash out suddenly and punch me. heh.

Well, I really should study during my free time but procrastination habits die hard. :( Am spending lots of time watching Masterchef Australia online. :P

On another note, second round of internship job allocations start tomorrow for most states. Dare I even hope?

Lacking

2011-07-24T11:00:00.001+08:00

Seriously, consideration is a virtue that is severely lacking nowadays.

What I need to do is remind myself not to change my decision end of this year. Don't become soft or try to persuade yourself otherwise. Because some things will not change.

At least I can say I am doing pretty well in the toleration department. Good training for future years!

Pattern

2011-07-23T00:09:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I wish we didn't need all kinds to make a world.

Anyhow, I am sensing an underlying pattern here. It's almost as if you could put these people into a special group of their own.

Well, there is a tried and tested method - keep them at arm's length. Haven't you heard of the phrase: keep your friends close and your enemies closer?

Just kidding! My way of approach is more likely to be along the lines of "out of sight, out of mind!"

Unearthed

2011-07-12T16:36:00.001+08:00

My winter break is inching nearer towards its end. I had spent much of this holiday just relaxing my mind and spending time with family and friends. Well, after such a frazzling 4 months, I do think this break is well-deserved. Who said 6th year is cruisy? Mine so far definitely wasn't.

Anyhow, certain events in the past few days have gotten me thinking.

For one, the power of social media cannot be underestimated nowadays. What we have in front of us are evidence and statements from both parties. We are not fools - we can make our own judgements.

I think I will stop here now for fear of repercussions. But tell me, is this the sign of a real democracy if a citizen feels scared to give his/her own opinions? What ever happened to freedom of speech?

Last but not least, recent events have stirred up a sense of patriotism in me that I thought was long dead, buried by disappointment and incredulousness at blatant lies and a lack of common sense.

I can still hope, for a better Malaysia.

WTF

2011-07-07T23:02:00.001+08:00

Tell me if the absurdity of all of this doesn't get your blood boiling.

Normally I don't swear, but this deserves a WTF response. Add it with this: o.O

Back! (Figuratively and Literally)

2011-06-30T12:32:00.002+08:00

Hello everyone! Gosh, it has been ONE MONTH since I posted! This has not happened...like ever! I think. Well, it is definitely a rare occurrence anyway. Not that I'm going to check all my previous posts just to verify that sentence. Ha.

Anyhow, yesh I am still alive. I have survived this very busy month! (hey I do have a valid reason why I had not posted for so long, okay!)

Internship applications are finally over!! (except for Singapore - will get down to it soon) I am definitely glad I have gotten that off my back! Was going insane over the various documents, procedures and essays that they wanted! I swear, I was so stressed that I think I looked like this -->

okay, fine. I don't think this picture is exaggerative enough. but you get the drift.

The other thing I had to contend with was a super busy general surgery posting. Long long hours, lots of stressful assignments and assessments. sigh! It's finally done too!

It has definitely been a few hectic weeks. But I'm okay. Time to get a breather. Winter break is here! And I'm home for holidays! :D

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The oddest things touch you unexpectedly sometimes.

Yesterday, on the flight, the pilot was making his usual commentary about the weather etc, then he said: "Welcome to Malaysia. And to Malaysians, welcome home."

That last part. Touched me somewhere in my heart. It was a twinge that could not be suppressed. Because I knew even though in all this familiarity that is 'home', they would still look at me suspiciously because of my skin colour. They would not judge me on merit and my hard work. At least not in the near future.

I am sad that we are not even static. But rather going backwards.

People always say we have a choice. But tell me honestly, if you had the same choice, would you make the same one we did? If you did choose to go back, I applaud you for your courage.

But please don't expect everyone to do the same thing you did. I believe that respect and courage has to be based on reality. Not ideality.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

And you. Just be grateful that you were born into the lap of luxury and had the privilege of not understanding what is poverty or being discriminated against. Don't make insensitive comments about things you don't understand.

The Small Things

2011-05-29T22:21:00.002+08:00

Is it understandable for me to feel envious of couples who have all the time in the world to hold hands and whisper sweet nothings into each others' ears?

I don't even want sweet words. I just want to see you, hug you and share things with you as they happen; not as a summary every other night.

With my short term memory loss brain, I miss out on the small little things too. And you know, it's the small little things that matter.

What's a Synonym For 'Busy'?

2011-05-28T23:59:00.000+08:00

Sorry guys, been pretty busy lately.

Am currently doing surgery and anaesthesia which has a total of 6 weeks and 2 weeks respectively. Already did 2 weeks of surgery and now taking a break from that with anaesthesia.

Anaesthesia is quite an interesting speciality, with lots of physiology and pharmacology! Doctors are generally nice and happy to teach. I think I learnt quite a bit in the few days we had.

Anyway, not going to write more here because I have an assessment tomorrow and I haven't finish writing up the case yet.

Btw the other reason I'm so busy is that intern applications for next year is out! So many things to do... Can you believe it? We are going to be working soon! *Gasp*

Devious

2011-05-14T08:27:00.006+08:00

De·vi·ous

adjective /ˈdēvēəs/

Showing a skillful use of underhanded tactics to achieve goals

- he's as devious as a politician needs to be
- they have devious ways of making money

What a fitting word.

Past - Present - Future

2011-05-01T15:43:00.006+08:00

Since you guys know about my short-term-memory-problem, it comes as no surprise that while attempting to write my 1st CV for intern applications (oh no?! work!), I had to look through my blog archives to find out what I did in the past. Although I think that probably counts more for long-term memory problems already.

Anyway, before we digress further, I was digging through old dusty posts to find what I want. And obviously I had to skim through a few of my posts, and I am still a little surprised to find how different my blogging style has evolved over a few years. Not only that, I am probably a very different person from that wide-eyed 19 year old girl that started her first year in university, a place away from home.

I wonder was the change for good or for bad? Maybe it's a mixture of both. Perhaps it's called growing up. As we grow up, the more responsibilities we have, the less carefree we can be. Becoming an adult is not all fun obviously, and next year we will have to take another giant leap, to finally start working!

But sometimes, I wish I can go back to those happy carefree days in imu. A time where we can all laugh freely and not worry about having to adapt so as to not appear 'weird' in front of others.

I wonder if there will ever be one day when I won't feel the need to adapt anymore. It should become second nature. (Interestingly, it's only second nature, so whereabouts lies my first nature?)

I think change is gradual but coming. The other day, someone called me by my full name and it suddenly felt foreign to my ears. Because I have become accustomed to an abbreviated version of my name - something I did because I got tired of the repeated "sorry, didn't quite catch that" that came my way whenever I introduce myself with my full name. And how funny - just a couple of years ago, that abbreviated version sounded foreign to these very ears.

The country says we don't love her, but truth to be told, in a way, it will always be home in my mind - but because she doesn't love us enough, we have been compelled to seek greener pastures and call them home too.

Pre(ramble)

2011-04-27T23:50:00.002+08:00

Assessment (again!!) tomorrow! Hope it goes well! *fingers and toes crossed*

It's so nice to have a 3 day week. Too bad it only happens once in a year. I heard other unis have a one week break. One week, you hear me? I AM JEALOUS.

Digressed. Yup, you can do it. Sorry I'm rambling to myself again with my pep talk. :/

You can quote me. Confidence is the stepping stone to success. :D Be confident!

Strangers, Again

2011-04-22T12:16:00.003+08:00

How true, about the stages of a relationship.

I hope we will always stay at Stage 4. :) Let's do our best to keep it alive!

A Long Day

2011-04-19T22:14:00.004+08:00

Today has been a very long day.

This was how my day went:

Started with being harassed to complete a discharge summary ASAP (hey what do you think I'm doing? twiddling my thumbs in the air? I'm doing my best here, and I don't know the patient k!)
Multiple cannulas (which I'm happy to report, I currently have a 50% success rate now - compared to my previous 0%! the new cannulas are so difficult!)
Various attempts to get some of my assignments done (drug charts, confusing outpatient prescriptions! and many more...) oh ya, I hvta bug my team, who are the nicest ppl ever, to help answer my various questions! sigh.
Quick break for lunch then afternoon dermatology clinic. Sat in with a really nice doctor who taught quite a bit. That was a plus point for once. But I still find most of dermatology confusing. All of these skin lesions look the same to me!!! Clinic finished very late though so there you go, negative point there.
Had to go to Woolies to get some household stuff. Even though it was late. argh.
Came back home and guess what broke the camel's back, so to speak? I spotted a large cockroach overturned on its back wriggling its legs around on the kitchen floor. I really hate cockroaches coz I think they are really dirty. No, I'm not scared of them but I detest them! I usually am able to bunch up a wad of toilet paper and get rid of the small ones but this was HUGE and MOVING!! I'm not touching that!! I used the dustpan to nudge it into a plastic bag and quickly clamped it down as it's started moving frantically. Then I quickly got rid of it outside in the bin (after making sure it wouldn't be able to make a break for it but tying it up in another plastic bag!! SO THERE!!).
And now my right hip aches. I think I'm putting more weight on it than my left while standing around. I think I'm going to get arthritis when I get older. sigh!

And here I am now, typing away, trying to get all the frustration out of my head...!! I really need a break! Too many things happening... Thank god for the super long weekend this week. pfft.

The Dusk Version

2011-04-18T21:28:00.004+08:00

Tada! Did you notice the brand new layout of this blog?

Have been working on the new header during the last long holidays. Decided to unveil it now, just because I feel like it!

This is like the total opposite of my sunny summer-like header previously. Going for a more mysterious twilight effect with this one.

Let me know what you think, comments please!!! :D Thanks!

PS: Btw my cute lil doctor now has a stethoscope! :P

(E)motions

2011-04-14T15:31:00.003+08:00

It's been two weeks since you left. I think I'm doing okay. How time flies. Keeping busy is keeping me from having what a patient I know would call a "pity party".

Today is the first day in a long time where I could come home early on a weekday. Been really busy recently - lots of assignments, assessments etc. The usual works. And getting used to work a pre-intern should do I suppose.

You just started work this week, congratulations, I am so proud of you. :) Work hard and take good care of yourself, for your own sake and the little patients too. I'm sure the kids will bring joy to you, even though how hard work might be. The learning curve is always steep, but you will get there.

You know, dear. I really miss you.

Without you by my side, I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Waking up everyday, going to the hospital, coming back to cook meals and rest then sleep. And it keeps repeating over and over again....

But I know one day, in the not so far future now, we will be together again. :) And I will look forward to that day.

Cut Short

2011-03-28T14:42:00.003+08:00

I'm quite tired from trying to get my assessments/studies up to scratch after letting my mind laze around so long and trying to spend as much time as possible with the visiting bf.

Unfortunately, his visit that was supposed to be one month long (before he starts work - coz who knows when he will be free again!) is brutally cut short by inane administrators that do whatever they want and summon people without warning!!!

So thanks to them, he's going back this thursday night... having only been here for 2 weeks plus. So not only our time is cut short suddenly, he has to waste another large sum of money to get tickets back home early. argh. I wished I had spend more time with him earlier instead of putting it off to later. Now, we don't have much time left together...

And I really really can't wait for the time when there is no looming deadline to when we need to say goodbye to each other again.

Start of 6th Year

2011-03-21T20:50:00.002+08:00

Hello! Had been back in Perth for a week or so, am quite busy as well, as I have landed into Gen Med - the most busy posting of the year. Heard that the rest of the year is relatively slack though, which is good!

Besides, I have had pretty long holidays so definitely need some revision to get back into what-is-expected-of-a-sixth-year-student-mode! Which so far made me realised, is quite a bit!

Am so much nearer to being a doctor now that senior doctors guide us to try things that we will have to do as a doctor in the near future. Had the opportunity to run a clinic with the help of a consultant this morning and it was pretty cool! Realised there are a lot of things I still do not know so need to read up more and more!

So I gotta go for now! :P

PS: The bf is visiting now so despite the busy-ness, I am still a happy girl! :D Hope we get to make more new happy memories together!

Choices

2011-03-04T00:20:00.001+08:00

Hey, you do know that Life is full of what-ifs, right?

But you gotta remember that you live with the choices you have made in the past. There is no point in reliving past choices, especially if the present outcome is good. Coz, what's the point? I think the other what-ifs might even be a turn for the worse.

Now, looking forward, I just hope that this is the right decision.

Double-Edged

2011-03-01T01:16:00.001+08:00

There are a lot of things in life that I have no control over, but what I do know is that, there is something that I can change - and that's me and the choices I make.

I vow to try my best to not repeat the mistakes of the past (of myself and others before me). And I have another mission as well, to save the people after me from going down the same path. I know I'm human, so I will keep on trying even though I slip sometimes.

I will try my best to be close to things that make me happy and stay away from things which only cause nothing but grief.

Hope is but a double-edged sword.

Have you ever wondered about the meaning of life? It's the things that make you feel alive that are worth living for... and right now, I think I need to find those things again.

And yes, you are right, I only blog more when I'm upset. sigh.

Hope, Pain & Gain

2011-02-27T01:13:00.001+08:00

Life in itself is an irony, isn't it? What I learnt from life is that if there is no hope, there is no pain.

But if there is no pain, is there no gain as well?

Really, I try to be the best of what people might hope me to be, I really do but perhaps that shall never be enough. But I have decided to tell myself, hey it's okay. As long as I have tried and done my best, I have no regrets.

Everybody has a few skeletons in their closet, but who really lets their skeletons out to get some fresh air?

I think it's time I give mine a proper resting place. If that's even possible...

Congrats To Them

2011-02-24T17:36:00.003+08:00

Yet again, I bring good tidings with this post! Today is the day where my batchmates in my previous uni had finally graduated as doctors! :D Congratulations again! Am so proud of you guys!

Come to think of it, if I had continued to study locally instead of going overseas, perhaps today would have also been the day I could add another 2 different initials to my name.

But anyway, I know I'm passed playing the If game. No more regrets; instead, to look forward for better things to come. Remember, if you think too much, you forget how to live. That's my motto.

And hey, it will be my time to finally realise my goal in the near future too. It's not so far off now. ;) Hold on and keep on ~~studying~~ fighting!!

PS: A special CONGRATS to dear dear who is finally a doctor too now! ^v^

It's All Good

2011-02-18T17:45:00.002+08:00

It's good news for all that I know. *joyous singing* I might not show it, but I'm really glad. :D

A Little Act Of Kindness

2011-02-15T14:12:00.001+08:00

It was a cloudy weekday afternoon. With my grey stethoscope strung around my shoulders, I headed towards the cafeteria outside the hospital for a quick lunch. I met my friend over there and we had a nice chat over some economy rice, which sells really nice food for a cheap price.

Alas, when we were almost done with lunch, rain started coming down outside in heavy trickles. Being too used to the fact that Australian rain never last for long, I convinced my friend to wait it out. To our dismay, the rain only got heavier, pelting down torrents as we waited in vain. It seemed to only get worse with every passing minute.

Having waited for quite sometime, we decided that enough was enough and decided to run for it. I covered up my oxford handbook with a random piece of scrap paper, hoping to shield it from the unrelenting rain and we plunged into the heavy sheets of rain.

An unsheltered walk that would normally take perhaps 5 minutes or so resulted in us being drenched from head to toe. With wet hair plastered to our faces and rain splotched clothes, we did not look a presentable sight.

Trying to arrange our hair and wiping off water droplets, we stepped into the lifts heading towards our respective wards. The lift filled up with people and I laughed and remarked to my friend: "We certainly don't look a pretty sight, do we?"

What happened next surprised me.

A stranger, a middle aged lady holding a red umbrella held out a couple of tissues to us and said: " Hey, here you go, wipe yourselves dry." The first response from any asian person would be to decline politely, saying it was okay.

But she insisted. "Go on, take it. You should wipe yourselves dry or you will get sick easily." Touched by her act, we accepted her offer and thanked her. With the tissues, we were able to pat dry our faces and hair in a somewhat more efficient way.

This little act of kindness showed me that there was still kindness in this world, even among strangers. This happened in a country that had a reputation of its people being self-centred. This also proved to me that assumptions and stereotyping were just that, they do not encompass everyone under one big umbrella.

It also reminds me that when patients are gratefully generous with their thanks when I take my leave, I must be doing something right. Listening is the first step for any sort of healing to take place.

The Ad that Moved Overseas Students to Tears

2011-02-11T13:43:00.002+08:00

Thank god for the internet.

Happy Chinese New Year!

2011-02-05T13:28:00.001+08:00

Here's to a belated Happy Chinese New Year to my readers! Paiseh, I know I have been a little sluggish/lazy in blogging in this new year.

This CNY has been a relatively quiet one, but it's okay, I know CNY is not really so much about the angpows or the food (though I wouldn't mind more of the former of coz! :P) but it's more about family. If there's anything I learnt from being away from home during CNY for the past 2 years, it's probably this.

Treasure your family before it's too late, okay, peeps? If there's anything medicine has taught me about life, it's about the mortality of life. Life is fragile and can be taken away anytime.

So don't live with regret - make full use of your life and live every day as though it's your last!

I Want To Remember

2011-01-26T21:15:00.003+08:00

Am currently nearing the end of my elective, with only another 2 days to go. I have been 'fortunate' to see a lot of interesting signs here - it is especially exciting when it matches what you have been reading in books - almost like meeting an old friend you once knew.

But I keep reminding myself, all these signs (usually) come at an expense to patients. I think it's important as healthcare workers to at least once in a while slip into your patients' shoes, reminding oneself that what might be routine and mundane to you is actually scary and a wholly new experience to your patient.

When you start thinking of your patient as a real person instead of a disease waiting to be treated, then perhaps, you would be a little kinder at that difficult patient who seemed hell bent on making your life a living hell. Stop back and think, why is the patient acting this way? Is there some misunderstanding? Is there something bothering the patient? Or is there something you can help the patient with? Perhaps you might find your answer lies within those questions.

In med school, we are often taught to be 'professional', so as to provide the best (unemotional) care for our patients. It is a very real thing to get burnout from all the painful horrible things you see happening to people by being overly empathetic. But medicine is not only a science, it's also an art. And if you ask me, it's the latter that's hard to imitate. It has to come from the heart.

When does being 'professional' means being less human? I think it's still important to engage emotionally with your patient, coz with a good doctor that really cares for them, it is said patients feel almost half-healed after the encounter. However, as with all things, empathy should be doled out in moderation as well. A healthy work-life balance is essential to keep the enthusiasm for life going.

Two and a half years back, I remember what I wrote in the little box provided for each person in our batch magazine. I want to remember the reason I'm doing medicine even many years down the line. Now two and a half years later, I'm glad to say that I still remember.

Let's hope I would be able to sustain these thoughts for a long time more.

I'm Still Here :P

2011-01-17T18:54:00.000+08:00

Hi guys! Don't worry, I'm still alive! This must have been the longest I haven't blog in a stretch, especially when there are no exams looming around.

Anyway, I am currently in my 3rd week of electives in Singapore, I'd just finished 2 weeks of Emergency Medicine, which was really an eye-opening experience. Today I just started in General Medicine which has a more set schedule compared to the former. But I do like it when I can control my own time :P

If there's any recurrent theme to my elective experience so far, is the massive amount of knowledge I still don't know. le sigh. Don't even need to mention about retaining the knowledge previously learnt. >.<

I need to study... but I feel so lazy. This will be the last of awesome proper holidays. Singapore is great, I feel it's like a representation of what Malaysia could be. 'Could' is the all important keyword here. It shows that it has potential but lack the ability. Do you think it will change in the not-so-near future? One can only hope.

Anyway, I think I'm digressing here. One of the reasons I haven't blogged in sucha long time is that I have been busy (what else is new?) meeting up with friends. It's certainly nice to see old friends. Maybe it's because I have a life for once too. :P Oh and a lot of time spent travelling around as well. Been trying to figure out the public transport system of Singapore.

That's about it. Is this considered a dry update? Perhaps. But I have not been getting enough beauty sleep. *grumble mumble* :P

And yeah, I hope 2011 will prove to be an awesome year! My last year of med school. Gotta make it count. :D

A Better Forward

2010-12-23T00:27:00.001+08:00

Today, my previous uni had a Christmas party and I was kindly invited as well.

It's nice to be in an atmosphere where most people knew each other and the general feeling is of joyful familiarity.

Looking back, this year, I realised that I have stopped the blaming game and the regretting. It's much better to look ahead and put my best foot forward. And because of that, I have come to appreciate what I do have, and to live and enjoy the present the best I can.

The other thing I also realised is that people can change for the better, despite how impossible it may seem previously. Perhaps that quote by Anne Frank can be held true; "I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart."

I think that, instead of preconceived notions, if you look hard and long enough, people will eventually show you their good side. Perhaps.

Wishing all my readers a very merry Christmas and a happy blissful 2011! :)

Interval

2010-12-19T17:57:00.002+08:00

I know, I know, I haven't been the best role model blogger. But hey, I'm having a good time just chilling and doing the things I wanna do.

Anyway, I just finished my 2 weeks of paeds elective, which was really good. The dr asked a lot of questions and taught quite a lot too, so I really did get a lot out of these 2 weeks. :) And now, I know a little better about dengue and H1N1, cause the ward was full of them the past few days.

I am currently writing this from a little town called Batu Pahat in Johor. Will be visiting old friends for about 2 weeks or so before going over to Singapore to start my one month long posting! And it's so good to see dear dear again after sucha long time. :D

Alright, that's all for now. I expect updates to be sparingly for now, for I realised that I write more when I'm emo. lol. And let's hope that's not the case for now.

But sometimes when the mood kicks in, write I will. Right, toodles!

Paeds Elective

2010-12-08T21:24:00.001+08:00

Just got back from a 4D 3N family trip at Cameron Highlands. It was kinda boring actually coz I'd been there last year as well with my family.

But oh well, just enjoy the cool breeze there then and spend time with family.

Anyway, I will be starting my elective in paediatrics tomorrow. boo... I want more holidays. haha. But okay lar, hope I get to see cute babies! :D

Passed!

2010-12-03T17:37:00.004+08:00

Apologies for the long absence, I have been too busy enjoying my freedom. But I bring good tidings with this post!

Results just came out today and I PASSED MY 5TH YEAR!! :D

I feel so so relieved now. This year has been such a difficult year, and I'm glad I can look forward and move nearer to my goal now.

I hope all of my friends passed as well so we can go to 6th year together!!

Never

2010-11-30T09:47:00.000+08:00

I should have known it was too good to last. I was foolish to think otherwise. But I guess there won't be so many long holidays after this one.

I find it silly of me to keep thinking that the next time will be the charm, cause for some things, they will never be. Naive heart. Anyhow, it looks like some humouring is in order. I need to tell myself that I'm bigger than this.

Oh right. Results will be out in a few days' time. The truth will be out soon. Hope that goes well, at least.

Home ♥

2010-11-22T23:17:00.001+08:00

I'm home!!

It's so nice to be home. Everything is so familiar. I had to spend 5 hours waiting in a very hot and humid airport though, before catching my flight from KL to Penang.

Anyway, when we first arrived in the airport, it took us sometime to get used to the situation back home. It was what I would describe as a reverse culture shock. Ironically, I knew I was home when there were rude waiters, spicy food, endless perspiring and dirty public toilets. Needless to say, some of them are not things to be proud of though. sigh.

But all things aside, I'm just super relieved that the freaking scary exams are over. This year has been such a long and difficult year. Hopefully, with some luck, I will be able to pass. Cause, seriously, I can't imagine having to do all of this all over again.

But now, I have at least 2 weeks to have a much needed relaxation with my family! :)

Over

2010-11-21T01:31:00.005+08:00

IT'S FINALLY OVERRRR!!

Now, would you excuse me, I have a plane to catch in 5 hours' time. Need to get some shut-eye.

Will update once I'm back home! :D

珍惜

2010-11-16T22:36:00.004+08:00

Enjoy this short clip based in Malaysia. Brings me lots of memories of the good ol' days.

爱，就不要放手。远距离爱一点都不容易，但我要相信我们是可以的。

Next Up

2010-11-15T20:02:00.000+08:00

The coming of tomorrow heralds the coming of the second paper. (woohoo I just made a simple sentence sound cool, okay sorry all the study is going to my brain -__-")

Not so confident about tomorrow's paper though, coz the area that can be asked is just so broad... And my preparation for it is less than for the previous paper. Sigh. Oh, and I'm not a big fan of opthalmology or oncology, it just makes things harder to go into the brain. Must be natural resistance.

Okay, I dunno what I am crapping about.

Let's just hope they ask common stuff (that I know the answers too - that would be even awesome! haha)

Right, this mad lady better stop typing now. Wish her luck though! (now why am I typing in the 3rd person??)

Burnout

2010-11-14T12:43:00.000+08:00

One down, two more to go. I feel scared... but seriously, it looks like everybody also don't have the mood to continue slogging.

I think it must be burnout.

Motivation, come to me please!

Okay, one more week and I'll be home! Must pass!!

Remember When

2010-11-12T15:41:00.000+08:00

One of the most touching and beautiful songs I have ever heard.

I hope our love story will be like this too. :)

War

2010-11-11T19:55:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow, it all begins. The exams that we have been preparing for what seems like forever. (obviously over-exaggerating lah haha)

First paper is tomorrow, which is O&G + Paeds written paper. These two subjects take a bloody long time to study, you know!

Second paper is next tuesday, which includes General Practice, Opthalmology, General Medicine and Oncology. Oh no, haven't studied much for this!! AHH!!

Last and scariest is OSCE next friday. 16 stations, 7 minutes each, running one after the other. Definitely going to need the adrenaline to kick in for this one!!

Wish me good luck and that I have the confidence and calmness of mind to deal with all this!

Previously, it had all have been battles but this is WAR!

PS: Wah, banyak-nya exclamation marks in this post! :P

2

2010-11-09T17:57:00.000+08:00

I am having a headache now post-nap due to being unable to get to sleep the night before. Damn these sleep disturbances when I need my sleep already! Wish I have some sleeping pills.. >.<

By the way, did I mention I hate studying opthalmology?? Arggh.

Two more days left. AHHH!!

4

2010-11-07T22:11:00.000+08:00

FOUR more days till the most major exams ever! Get ready to FREAK OUT!

We were discussing about the exam yesterday night (sorry, nothing else on our brains lately).

Don't you think that it is ironic that this is the exam that we have prepared the most for in our entire lives, and it is also the most worried we have been. :O

We must have confidence in ourselves that we can do it! Okay?

Familiarity

2010-11-04T17:10:00.001+08:00

Was randomly watching some videos celebrating festivities in Malaysia.

Very touching indeed.

It's simple things like this that make me think of home. Home will always be familiarity. How people look and talk. I still turn back to look when I overhear someone speaking in a familiar language/accent.

Sometimes I can't help but feel sad that we have to go overseas to look for a "better life". I know you can say we don't exactly have to. But given the circumstances back home, it's definitely a better option for now.

But how I wish that I need not choose between better opportunities and familiarity. I can always try to fit in here... but somehow I feel there will always be at least a slight gap.

I wonder if there is any use in hoping that one day, one day the situation at home may change.

Insomnia

2010-11-01T11:19:00.002+08:00

Been having terminal insomnia last week (means I keep waking up much earlier than expected). And now I'm having trouble initiating sleep even when I'm super tired. :(

Sigh. Anxiety mucho. I think I need some of those relaxing strategies we always talk about in GP practice.

I want a good sleep!!

Btw, exams in less than 2 weeks. Die.

I want to pass. I NEED to pass!!

Modern Love

2010-10-27T23:19:00.003+08:00

It's ironic how 'love' is taken so lightly these days.

In this modern day, couples can break up and get together with other people in the blink of an eye.

That's why when I see old couples in hospital who have been together for decades, I think they are very cute and loving. Or when I see an old lady/man who cries and doesn't want to live anymore because his/her spouse has passed away recently, I feel for him/her.

Perhaps, in this age where everything is fast-paced and on demand, we keep on searching for something better instead of cherishing the precious things that we already have.

Look Who's Reading

2010-10-24T21:04:00.001+08:00

I just found out today that my dad reads my blog. *horrifying gasp* OH HI, DAD!! lol.

Okay, I hope I didn't write anything too weird here. I do screen whatever I write here since it's public cyberspace anyway. Who knows who is reading?

I would love if readers could comment once in a while to make their presence known though. Don't tell me I have to be like those camwhore female bloggers that post a hundred pictures of themselves in essentially the same pose to get ~~creepy~~ comments? Whatever happened to real content? Albeit, this blog basically consist of nothing much but the ramblings of a mad med student. :P

Anyway, I should stop rambling for now, I need to get into the studying mood!! Come to me please? sigh.

Clean

2010-10-22T17:52:00.001+08:00

Phiew. Finally finished cleaning my part of the cleaning duties allocated for the impending house inspection.

One of the best feelings in the world (for me at least) is having a good nice bath after doing some much needed cleaning. It feels good to feel clean. Yes, I think I have a little of an OCD trait. But hey, they say you need that to do medicine. lol.

Anyway, I think my right arm has hypertrophied as a result of overuse. Okay, over-exaggeration as usual, but my right brachioradialis muscle is sore and tender. :(

I also realised something. I can't focus on my studies if I have something on my to-do-list that I have yet to do that day. Maybe it's an excuse, but it's definitely a bad habit!!

Right, this entry is more like a ramble.
Here's a statement to scare myself again: Exactly THREE WEEKS to exams!!! AHHHHH!

Now, that's more like it.

Focus

2010-10-17T21:57:00.001+08:00

Less than a month till exams come a knocking. And I still can't focus.

UH-OH.

Happy 24th ♥

2010-10-14T21:18:00.002+08:00

It's almost going to be one month since you left. How time flies! And so much has happened in this short span of time... that it almost doesn't feel like a month.

I suddenly remembered that scene when you were leaving. It was a sunny Saturday afternoon. My phone rang. The van had arrived earlier than expected... We walked out hurriedly to the street outside my house.

The driver came down and said hi to both of us. And started to put your luggage into the trunk. When you told him I was your girlfriend, he said smilingly: "Go on, go on, give the girl a hug and a kiss."

You gave me a tight hug. I didn't want to let go...but I had to. You went into the van and sat down on one of the seats. There was a couple inside. And the woman smiled knowingly at me, with a little pity in her eyes.

I have always been pretty good in not crying but this time, I don't know why - I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes. The driver closed the door of the van. We kept looking at each other. When the van started moving, you didn't look back any more... Although I kept staring at you, willing you to give me one more glance.

The van trudged along its way, leaving me staring at the shrinking vehicle, I could feel the tears dripping down my cheeks uncontrollably.

You were gone. Once again.

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Life has been harder without you around. But hey, no one said a long distance relationship is easy. I gotta have faith that one day, we will be able to have a life together again.

Couples around us are breaking up left and right. But I gotta have faith - that love will see us through all obstacles.

Happy 24th birthday, dear. ♥

A Hearty Start

2010-10-11T16:52:00.001+08:00

Just a short note. Finished my gen med last week - which ended on an unexpected note actually. Glad to get it done and put it behind me.

I need to start anew. I know I'm doing my best so I don't need to apologize for that. But I guess there are some things I can be more pro-active about! Always room for improvement!

Anyway, a new fresh start. Just started Acute Coronary Care for 2 weeks. Today was the first day. Seemed quite interesting really. And the 6th year med student on the team is very nice, very keen in teaching me. :D Time to brush up on some cardiology related stuff.

Heard a cool (and very clear!) murmur today. Pansystolic and early diastolic murmur loudest on tricuspid area, nil radiation. I think it was due to tricuspid regurgitation and aortic regurgitation. Wow, I can identify a diastolic murmur!!

Cardiology seems to have a good mixture of medicine and procedural stuff. But I know it's a very competitive speciality to get into though!

All things aside, need to focus on exams which are coming soon! *yikes* So much to study... and so much to remember. :(

PS: Yes, pun intended for my post's title, if you didn't notice. :p

Still Learning

2010-10-07T21:30:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow will be the end of my gen med rotation, and guess what? I don't think I'm going to miss it. Oh no, I enjoy the medicine part of it, the patients were generally nice and interesting.. Just that there were some unsavoury parts that I would rather not mention. (sorry, can't talk about things like this on public cyberspace)

Anyway, all things aside, I had my last assessment today. It went pretty alright, despite the consultant being strict and asking a lot of questions. Call me a sadist but I would much rather have it that way. At least you learn this way. It's much better than having someone say you are "good" (when you know clearly you are not) all the time only to fall on your face when it comes to crunch time during exams. Big no-no.

But he was very nice as well, I learnt a lot from him. You know you can be nice and strict at the same time, no kidding really. It's doctors like him that are willing to spend a little time to teach med students like us that inspire us to become better doctors.

Although I got the diagnosis wrong... at least the other parts were right. Gave appropriate investigations and answered most of the questions appropriately. Need to work on putting all the things together more to come to a good formulation. And I need to listen to more murmurs!!

Which is great that I'm doing Acute Coronary Care as my option for the next 2 weeks. Will hopefully get to brush up on murmurs and my ECG reading skills. ;)

This Is How It Feels

2010-10-06T20:58:00.003+08:00

There were a few times when I almost got to this page to blog a new post, then decided I will not do a half-hearted attempt. Okay fine, I'm just a little busy. It's edging nearer to exams. About 5 weeks now. :(

Anyway, my long case presentation last week was fine, the Dr marking us was very nice so we got off alright. Interesting case I got though, diagnosis was pleural effusion, but the interesting part was trying to figure out what was the cause. Was it due to her chronic renal failure or was it new heart failure causing fluid overload? Or did she have a pneumonia? How about malignancy? Hmm...

I have to do another assessment (which should be presentation + examination in front of the consultant) tomorrow. Sigh, tis is the life of a medical student; full of assessments, reports and learning to perform on demand under scrutiny and pressure. I feel like an actor sometimes. Let me tell you, it is not glamorous at all, it is nothing like on House or Scrubs - it is made up of blood, sweat and tears.

Now that I'm nearing the end of 5th year, I can feel the other different aspects of working life seeping in... I have had my share of difficulties in this rotation. Things like how to work in a team with colleagues who can be very different from you. And that one has to slowly work up the rungs before you can be acknowledged. Other things like your patients might not always like you and guess what? It goes both ways as well. But hey, I always try my best to be nice to my patients. If you don't like me, sorry-lah.

I want to end this post by reminding myself - this is how it feels to be a medical student. I don't have too long more till the end of the road, but yes I want to remember this feeling, so that in the future, when I'm on the higher end, I will do my best to help and teach them.

Because I remember how it feels like.

Perception

2010-09-30T15:26:00.004+08:00

Am feeling surprisingly light-hearted as of now despite:

My long case assessment being tomorrow. Will just handle as it comes I guess. Hope I get a simple one please!
Having to go in for ward rounds today as we thought the consultant will be doing one later. Guess what, consultant is on leave. And nobody knew? boohoo.
Having a very soggy sandwich for lunch due to poor foresight that microwaving my hash brown on top of it will make the sandwich go "splat"!

But there were some good things today too:

Met a nice doctor in the common room who started talking to me.Was able to identify my country of origin from my accent lol. He is from Malaysia as well and even knew some of my seniors. Was nice to be able to make a connection without trying too hard, for once. Too bad I was rushing for time!
Attended grand rounds today (albeit a little grudgingly) but turned out to be surprisingly useful for once! Now I can put into use my knowledge of interpretation of liver function tests. cool.

So this goes to show - sometimes what you feel is just a matter of perception. :)

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By the way, I realised the perception of "a nice day" is different for Asians and Aussies, as a general rule. I love that today is a relatively cloudy day, with a nice breeze. They think that "a nice day" is a day full of bright sunshine that burns thy skin. Go figure.

I used to don't mind being in the sunshine back home cause for one, it didn't burn my skin. But here, with the high high UV rays, I need to slather on sunscreen and avoid being in the sun too much, or else it will be hello - heat-induced dermatitis! :( Oh and don't forget skin cancers too!

6.5/52

2010-09-28T16:23:00.002+08:00

All the dramas aside, which have been resolved now by the way - do you know it's 6.5 weeks left till my major MAJOR exams?

AHHHHHH!! *freaked out*

Need to stop procastinating and start STUDYING!

PS: Oh wait, I got myself some half priced gourmet ice cream today!! Me happy! Need it for the stress. :P

Unconditional

2010-09-26T13:11:00.003+08:00

It has been one week since you left. And it has also been an emotionally and physically draining week.

The theme for this week's mishaps would be: Misunderstandings and Apologies.

I'm so tired of being rash and saying the wrong things to the wrong people and getting myself into trouble. If you don't know, saying you are sorry is not easy... certainly a test of your communication skills! But I must say, 知错能改 (being able to admit I'm wrong and turn over a new leaf) is one of my strengths.

Add all these misunderstandings and trying to make things right to a sick body. You get a person who is emotionally and physically drained.

Let this be a lesson to myself. It's okay to prattle along about yourself, but watch what you say. Now, I don't find it surprising why some people much rather keep their opinions to themselves and be a 好好先生 instead.

And it's so exhausting to keep everyone happy. Walking oh-so-carefully, trying to not tread on anyone's tails. I really hate this.

Whatever happened to really being yourself? I find myself being more and more disillusioned.

Perhaps you would like to say - welcome to the real world, where things don't go your way - not until you are at the top, anyway.

I thought at the very least I could be myself, truly myself with you... but nowadays I find that I have to be cautious as well.

You know, all everyone wanted is unconditional acceptance. But perhaps there is no such thing in this world afterall.

Rash

2010-09-21T17:00:00.002+08:00

I did something really rash today. Should have thought longer before doing things like that. Now I have to swallow my pride and apologize.

This is some self-perpetrated deep shit. AHHHH!!

wtfwtfwtfwtf.

I don't even know if he will accept my apology. shit!!

My friends said I'm not in the wrong... but I feel like punching myself for being so rash and stupid. sigh.

Soon

2010-09-11T08:31:00.001+08:00

I'm so excited that I have initial insomnia and early awakening today!! Why?

Because the bf is coming to visit me soon in a few hours' time! After about 9 months of being apart! He will be staying for 1 week only though... But it's better than nothing of coz.

Ahhh... I should probably try to get more sleep. Coz I'm actually still tired.

But yay! so happy!! :D

Trigger

2010-09-09T00:58:00.002+08:00

Seeing the video of my friends singing on Facebook reminded me of the good ol' days where things were easy and happy.

Back then, I didn't have to think twice before saying something, I was comfortable just being myself. I had friends who were really friends, not just hi-bye-how-are-you-going-but-actually-i-dont-really-care friends. No. We had a lot of fun, fun that everybody could relate to, fun doing simple things like hanging out, eating good food and singing and chatting. Even going to uni for classes was relatively fun, coz that was the time we hung out.

It makes me sad though how friends become more and more distant as distance comes between them. I can try to bridge the gap, but there is only so much one side can do.

As time goes on, the memories start to fade - or more like it's buried deep down under so that I can function. But time and time again, something triggers them, and they are brought up like a tsunami with a vengeance - unpredictable and overwhelming. They remind me of what I used to have. What I am missing...

Don't get me wrong, I do have a few good friends over here (thank god for them!) but I do miss the comfyness I used to have chatting with other uni-mates. Now, they are my "colleagues" I suppose, not really close friends per se? Sometimes I find it difficult to establish a bond with some of them, due to cultural differences... which is going to be hard when it comes to working, as everything is all about networking.

Gotta work on those ice-breakers lines a little more. bleargh. I was never good at small talk. >.< But I think I'm improving at that aspect when talking to patients at least. Now just gotta up the game a little more!

Now, let's talk about the weather, shall we?

Steep

2010-09-06T23:15:00.002+08:00

Today is my second week of general medicine. As my previous post eluded to, have been feeling a tad useless (yes even as a medical student lately!).

I realised something, I'm not a very observant person - if left to my own devices, my mind tends to drift off to somewhere. Which is not good if that somewhere is during ward rounds. woops.

Funnily, I need to be kept on my toes. I don't mind being asked questions or asked to examine the patient even though I might not know the answers (well as long as the dr is not too harsh lah okay). That's how I ~~pay attention~~ learn. But so far my team hasn't been really that great in terms of teaching, but fair enough, they are really busy.

Guess I will have to learn on my own. Take history, examine patients myself. Improving on communication skills as well. The accent (or lack thereof) doesn't help though. :/ And I talk too fast. Bad for elderly patients, which make up the majority here. And sometimes I'm not thorough enough coz I don't want to make them huff and puff for me. However, sometimes one needs to be unkind to be kind. yeah.

But you know what. I'm learning. Always a steep learning curve. And it seems to get steeper as it goes. *grits teeth*

One Day

2010-09-05T22:17:00.001+08:00

I was feeling kinda upset on friday night as a lot of things didn't go so well during my gen med on-take that day.

But I gotta realise, this is just part and parcel of our lives - just gotta hang on, deal with it and emerge stronger.

It might seemed like a long journey indeed, but one day, I will get there. If I continue to try. Keep that fire burning!

The Bigger Picture

2010-09-01T18:01:00.005+08:00

I need to learn how to control this unruly stress of unknown origin. Why do I feel stressed when things are not going the way I want? Small things, but they irk me so. I need to change. Being a control freak (even though it's my own life) ain't getting me nowhere. And binge eating to deal with stress is NOT good. arggh.

I need to look at the bigger picture. There are so many more important things for me to ~~worry about~~ do. As my mum once told me when I was very young: "If other people can do it, why not you?"

Breathe.

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Update: How many medical students does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question. :P

The correct answer is two, to be precise. If there is anything I have to give thanks for during my time in Perth, it is my friend, Debbi. She has been there for me whenever I needed her. :)

But hey, I can't believe I feel so annoyed with myself for such a silly thing as being unable to change a lightbulb. Yes because I'm vertically challenged and we don't own a ladder. Am I being too hard on myself? But shouldn't a young adult be able to do something so simple on his/her own? I'm not keen to play the maiden in distress role, thank you very much.

In a way, I'm happy that my annoyance led to me being determined to try, so I managed to screw the new bulb and cover back on by standing on an albeit wobbly table. All by myself.

As Hiro from Heroes would say: "Yatta!" :D

Here is it, in my face - proof that I can do things if I want to - if I try hard enough.

Perhaps there is some truth in my mum's words afterall. :)

Precious Life

2010-08-25T21:09:00.001+08:00

My condolences to the people who are suffering as a result of the Manila hostage incident that happened yesterday.

Be it the families of the victims or the other innocent philiphine people working in other countries. All this happens because of an inept corrupt government with a lousy police force.

My home country, take heed. This might be where things are heading if the top guns don't buck up.

I am studying to be a doctor because I want to save lives, I want people to have better quality of lives. I want them to stay healthy and happy. But here is an instance where precious lives are just wasted for nothing.

I would like to serve the people in my home country but the situation there is just too hopeless and I don't see any chance it will be changing a lot soon. Sometimes, we have to be a little bit selfish too - because they are not looking out for our welfare at all. Because to them, we are just 'pendatang'. So tell me why should I stay and be discriminated against?

I was listening to this song in Glee, I wish the lyrics were true. Can I be an idealist?

Imagine

Imagine There's No Countries

It Isn't Hard To Do

Nothing To Kill Or Die For

And No Religion Too

Imagine All The People

Living Life In Peace (Youuuu)

You May Say I'm A Dreamer

But I'm Not The Only One

I Hope Someday You Will Join Us

And The World We'll Be As One

Imagine No Possessions

I Wonder If You Can

No Need For Greed Or Hunger

A Brotherhood Of Man

Imagine All The People

Sharing All The World (Youuuu)

You May Say I'm A Dreamer

But I'm Not The Only One

I Hope Someday You Will Join Us

And The World Will Live As One

What That Is

2010-08-24T17:18:00.004+08:00

It gives me a funny strangled feeling in my chest looking at photos of old friends doing new things with new people. And you realised that you could have been in those photos as well.

If you were there.

But life goes on. Despite of what could have been, it's now what that is.

#1 Wishlist ♥

2010-08-19T21:08:00.004+08:00

Having more free time alone in the past 1.5 years have made me more aware of fashion styles via fashion blogs.

Here are some of things I have been lusting after. Either difficult to find and/or too expensive. sigh, next year hopefully can find some part time work :p

This is called a boyfriend blazer. Very versatile piece of clothing, worth to buy actually.

But difficult to find one that really fits and is not too expensive. I guess well-cut clothes are expensive.

And I need a new handbag for work too. My current one is going to fall to pieces soon. And I just got it this year too! Lousy quality.

Currently love those vintage/leather looking bags.

This is the Balenciaga work bag actually.

I'm not really a person into branded stuff, as long as it looks good, that's fine by me.

Vintage looking saddle bag!

But maybe a bit too small to stuff all my work stuff in. But for going out would be great!

Should probably look into some of the malaysian blogs, they normally have pretty reasonably priced stuff.

Suspender tights! Cool right?

This is by House of Holland (which is said to be too flimsy), and imitates the original one by Topshop below.

Heart shaped ones!! How to not <3 them right?

Omg. Wish that I'll be working soon...so I won't feel guilty buying things I want! ^v^ And have the financial power to do so too! :p

One more year plus, hopefully! I can do it!!

Options #1: CF

2010-08-18T22:45:00.002+08:00

It's Wednesday already. Boy, the days do seem to fly nowadays.

Currently am on my 1st Options: Cystic Fibrosis, which is 2 weeks long, but it's really more like paediatric respiratory team.

It's not a bad option (I do miss the kids!) but it's really sad to see all these kids with chronic disabling diseases plaguing them since young. A lot of them have neurological deficits like cerebral palsy. Many are quadriplegic and spent most of their time on the bed, in the wheelchair or in hospital. :((( I really salute the parents (esp mums!) who take care of them night and day. If that's not dedication, I dunno what is.

I am making myself useful by writing in notes etc, and most of the team are nice. It's been a pretty busy week too, with lots of patients coming in at the end of winter with resp infections. Having lunch so late everyday. ah my poor tummy.

What I want to do now is use this so-called 'free time' to catch up with my studies though. But the days' work have been tiring me out. Late afternoon naps are awesome and refreshing indeed.

Okay. O&G and paediatric stuff to catch up on. Yeah, I'm so 'awesome' that I have yet to catch up with stuff in the early half of the year. bleargh.

To Not Care

2010-08-15T14:45:00.005+08:00

Funny how sometimes eluding to something instead of directly pointing it out makes for better advice.

I should count my blessings instead. Glass half full instead of half empty, remember?

Besides, all of this might be the product of an overactive imagination anyway. Even if not so, some things in life can't be forced. That way, only one can tell what is true sincerity.

In life, there will always be people who love you for what you are and people who dislike you. So what? Those who matter will listen and accept and those who don't, don't really matter.

The theory is so simple yet so complex when it comes down to really following it.

But really, what I need to learn is to not care about the people who don't matter.

And yes - deja vu indeed - I think I've blogged about this before, so it just shows how much I suck at following my own advice. yeah?

Need

2010-08-14T19:19:00.003+08:00

Zzzyun, sometimes you are still too honest.

When will you ever learn to hide your own emotions/feelings from others? Come to think of it, do we even need to in the first place?

I dislike people who make assumptions about you based on their own. I'm not you and you are not me, so don't assume.

-------------------------------------------------

Sometimes, I wonder am I being too greedy. Isn't it enough that I have a loving boyfriend who supports and listens to all my troubles?

Why do I have this (almost pathological) need to have a friend who will still be best friends with me even though we are not physically near to each other anymore? Is that so wrong for me to wish for that? All I can say it wasn't from lack of trying.

And you, who said you always miss and remember me. You were the one who put me in this situation today. So stop all the sweet lies coz I don't want to hear anymore.

I'm being all emotional. Must be the hormones. Must be the hormones. Repeat to self x100. Blame it all on the hormones, yeah okay?

In Between

2010-08-11T20:31:00.000+08:00

Finished my opthalmology exam today! It's good expecting the worst (ie. can't answer every Q!) so I felt quite okay even though couldn't answer a few questions/got them wrong. Oh well, can't really be fussed about it coz I don't really fancy opthalmology in the first place.

I wonder if this is what happens when you have been through countless exams? But I still have tachycardia (increased heart rate for the non-meddies) prior to the exam haha.

Tomorrow I will be having my general practice exam which consist of a 15 minute consultation that is videotaped. Hmm... hope I dont get too nervous and will be able to perform at my best.

Practice really does help. Okay, time to study for my exam!! Wish me luck~ :)

PS: I have recovered from my relatively mild viral illness! :D The flu vaccine must have helped!

Bad Timing

2010-08-08T21:08:00.001+08:00

Recently, I will start my posts by apologizing about the lack of updates. However, this time I have an excuse.

I'm sick!! :(( Should be a viral illness.

And exams are coming soon in the next few days. GP+Opthalmology. Bad timing. But gotta say, the paracetamol is good stuff. Makes me feel so much better.

Being sick makes me wish there was someone here to take care of me. Suddenly made me remembered the time when dear took good care of me when I had severe food poisoning. (yesh from hospital food!! yucks) I don't think I look very pretty then haha... Recurrent vomiting tend to make you look gross lol. Oh and he was still just a friend then. so caring right? ;)

Okay, I'm signing off for some studying and recuperation. Will update more when I'm feeling better!

Along The Way

2010-08-02T20:53:00.001+08:00

Oh noes, it's the beginning of another week. I'm too ~~lazy~~ busy to blog so regularly.

Well, today I had another go with the patient consultation coz there were so many ppl who didnt attend today. This week's theme was Difficult Patients.

I had to do motivational interviewing with a diabetic lady and encourage weight loss. So not easy at all. :( I did the best I could, but all the way through the consultation, I could feel her resistance and I was racking my brains to find the words to break through the resistance and motivate her.

And we had already a day of teaching and practice last thursday for motivational interviewing specifically. But once I am the one who has to do the consult in front of everyone, I panic... and my mind becomes slow and fuzzy.

Anyhow, I think I still did okay (as in I didn't look particularly stupid in front of my colleagues), even though I did not really manage to get her to the contemplative phase. But I did my best. The doctor observing thought it was alright too. phiew.

Well, gonna continue improving. I shall get there someday. Believing in myself really did help.

------------------------------------------------------------------

We had a free yoga class today! :D So nice of the uni ppl to organize one for us. It was a relaxation and restorative sort of yoga. Just great for us who are stressed out!

I might try it out sometime when there's a night I can't fall asleep easily or if I'm super stressed with studies (which I dare say I will). I found the meditation part quite useful - it relaxes my mind, freeing it temporarily from all its worries.

-----------------------------------------------------

Can't believe it's august already. And the 2nd last week of my GP/Opthal term. That means exams are next week!! Omgosh, I better get down to studying now!!

I Can

2010-07-26T19:41:00.002+08:00

Even though I can't be as good as them in communication skills (at least not yet), I should be competing only with myself to keep on improving.

It's important to believe that I can do it. That's half the battle won.

I must remember how I tried to muster any semblance of self-confidence in last year's exam. Cause I'm definitely going to need it this time around.

Believe in myself. yes.

Oxymoron: The Naive Cynic

2010-07-25T17:04:00.002+08:00

It's ironically funny how I used to be such a cynic, and now I find myself appalled at the naivety within myself.

Really, at this stage of my life, I shouldn't be so surprised anymore at things like this. I thought I knew how things work, at least the big picture concept of it. But sometimes, hope gives rise to unnecessary idealistic thoughts.

I can see why people keep their heart guarded by imaginary walls. Just because it is such a dark scary world out there, and the best thing you can do is to protect your heart from getting hurt.

I know, I said before, I would like to be honest with people, with a true self as I can muster. That I do believe in, cause if you never let anybody into your heart at all, what's the meaning of living then?

But sometimes, you have to take a step back and think - is this person worth it? - before opening your heart to people.

Cause there are just too many people out there who are not worth it at all.

In The Air

2010-07-20T22:17:00.003+08:00

I feel the days are passing too fast for my liking. Swoosh, and it's tuesday night already.

And the cycle continues every week. With endless list of things to attend, prepare and study for. :< I was feeling kinda stressed last night because was having some unforeseen trouble with my assignments. I even went for a jog even though I already did 2 in the past 4 days because I thought some exercise would do me good in terms of destressing. It did helped a bit, I guess post-exercise endorphins would be a good addiction!

I can't believe the anxiety was still lurking beneath the surface though, affecting my sleep. Made me woke up several times last night, wondering whether did I miss my alarm and was late. Needless to say, I was far from so.

It's no fun being a medical student. It's hard to have a life and yet be a marvellous gung-ho student. Unfortunately, I'm neither. shucks.

Stress - I can smell it in the air. And it's only going to get worse in the next few months. oh boy.

The P Word

2010-07-18T22:06:00.001+08:00

Procastination should be one of the seven sins. Well, I guess it's quite similar to its brother, Sloth. heh.

I need to stop thinking unnecessary thoughts (cue to refer to my blog's motto just above) and start seriously studying!! le sigh.

And yes, the weekend is almost over. Too fast!

Despite Everything

2010-07-15T20:50:00.002+08:00

Oops, been neglecting my blog again. Things are getting busy, so whenever I wanna blog, I tell myself, "oh I better do that thing first, it's due tomorrow."

Now I have 3 weeks' worth of laundry waiting to be ironed (I probably should get down to it soon, or will run out of clothes to wear soon - I know, I don't have that many clothes. Or work-suitable clothes anyway. Sponsor me? :P)

Anyway, as I said, things on the to-do-list are piling higher and higher up. And I see no hope of it dimishing soon. Or even plateau-ing. :(

This rotation is not slack at all. Who said so it was?? *stressed*

And the worst thing is I dunno what happened to my 'confidence'. I can't fake it that well anymore. I am so going to need it for the end of year exams this year. We need to be calm and confident when counselling patients.

Arggh. I hate the instances when I do kinda know my stuff but all my thoughts come out all tangled up and stuttering. HATE IT. Stupid.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay rants aside. I must tell you this interesting event that happened to me a few days back.

I have been trying to contact a patient for a home visit for a case report. Kept calling about 3 times/day for the past 4 days or so.

Everytime when someone answered, I said: "Hi, can I speak to Mr. X please?" And everytime, the phone is left on hold for ages and nobody comes to the phone even though I kept waiting.

The last straw was when he said: "No" harshly before I could say anything and left the phone on (meaning I could hear the background noise of the tv for eg). When I called back again, the phone was engaged. I was quite frustrated by then and just left him a message detailing what I was calling for.

He called me back not long after, apologizing. Apparently, he has been hanging up on my calls because he thought I was one of the telemarketers.

"Because of your accent."

Why thank you. Isn't that nice? NOT.

Well, he did apologized many times so I know he didn't mean it. But I do dislike being discriminated against because of my accent, my looks etc. I will have you know that there are many aussie telemarketers too! And no, I do not even have a typical asian accent. I speak clearly, okay?? I don't mumble, I don't slur my speech, I don't simply give abbreviations to words and expect ppl to naturally understand them. AHHH!!

Anyhow, I did the home visit today. It was alright, I practiced doing a little patient education, which was good, despite the fact that at one part the cigarette smoke was blowing my way. Oh and I think I can't use him as my case report patient afterall. Coz he doesn't really have a new presenting complaint at this point in time. Really EPIC FAIL of me. after all that.

But I was still glad I did the visit though. He seemed a little lonely and appeared happy with my (albeit temporary) presence.

If I could have make someone's day a little happier, I guess it was worth it. Certainly an experience. :)

Now to figure out how to bluff my way when I am on the telephone so people don't hang up on me ;P

Costly

2010-07-09T21:28:00.001+08:00

Overall, I had a pretty good day today... but it ended badly.

Because of my own carelessness.

So here's the story. I was coming back from the train station, and was taking out my purse (my card is in it) to tag off as usual. Then I remembered that the train station that I departed on was out of electricity, so I didn't need to tag off as I couldn't tag on at the previous station.

That different motion from my usual daily deed must have put me off. Coz when I went to woolies to buy something, I realised my purse was not with me when I wanted to pay for something. Panic ensured.

I rushed out to the train station... Found nothing on the ground. Went to ask the officers if they had seen anything. A rush of hope gushed through me when they said they had.

And yes! I got back my purse. But the bad thing is I lost all the money in it. Probably around 60-70 bucks. He/she even took all my coins!! O.o Sigh, just my luck to have withdrew money a few days earlier. :(

All this happened in the span of 15-20 mins.

The irony is that the person who returned it probably is the person who took the money. Of coz, I can't say for sure. But to be honest, I had great trust in aussies to return lost items. But I guess, you can't have everything.

Can you believe the officers summore joked and told me that there was a fee of 50 dollars to collect lost items?! I told him I don't have any money. -_-"

I know, on the bright side, at least all my important cards are still in the purse. Credit card, debit card, student card and the list goes on. So at least less trouble for me.

Although it was a costly lesson indeed, I had learnt it. To be more careful in the future (I haven't been too bad, to be honest) and to use my debit card more instead of withdrawing most of the cash out.

Okay. Rant finito.

Honesty

2010-07-08T21:18:00.002+08:00

People who know me personally may wonder about the things I write in my blog.

But I have decided to be honest about my feelings as best as I can. We spend so much time in our daily lives putting up imaginary walls when dealing with other people. We are afraid to venture out of our comfort zone as we get older.

I would like to be a bit more honest with myself here. In my very own space.

Besides, I believe a lot of the emotions I write about are experienced by many people too. Just that they are reluctant to admit it to themselves. They are afraid to come face to face to what they are feeling.

Now, what I need is to recapture what I had in the earlier part of this year. Maybe it's called distraction.

Meaning

2010-07-07T20:19:00.000+08:00

This blog looks cheerful at first glance. I told myself that I will try to be more optimistic in my outlook on life, hence the blog transformation at the beginning of the year.

But old habits die hard. They recur. I blog more when I'm emo. That, I do realise.

I apologize for those expecting merry frivolous posts while visiting this blog. Sometimes, what you see is not what you get.

I went to look at friend's Facebook profile just now. A friend who passed away tragically in a bus accident a few years ago.

Her profile page was filled with numerous people writing on her wall still, proclaming their affection for her in various ways. Missing her. Wishing she was there.

Despite her tragic early death, her presence is still dearly missed by so many people. Her years on earth might be relatively few, but she have touched the hearts of so many. She was someone who shine whenever she was.

This might be a morbid thought, but I wonder, if I was not here anymore, would I be dearly missed by so many people as well?

I want to do something meaningful with my life. I want to form meaningful relationships with other people.

Isn't that why we all are searching for that elusive meaning of life?

4/12

2010-07-04T22:37:00.004+08:00

I can't believe I'm saying this... but I need a bit more STRESS to keep the momentum up! Apathy is doing me no good.

And I have so much to catch up from the previous postings...why oh why. Why didn't I finish everything in their respective postings?

I remember being stressed out at the beginning of the year (yes the irony!) but the stress slowly dissipated as time passed (as per usual -_-). But now it's about 4 months till end of the year exams. One of the most MAJOR ones that I will ever sit for.

Get this into your brain, you silly girl.

FOUR MONTHS left.

Good!! Time to start freaking out!!

PS: For those who are not medically in tuned, this post's title is written in the way in medical notes to mean 4 months. For eg, 6 weeks would be written as 6/52.

PPS: Right, what's with the recent title obsession with numbers. lol.

PPPS: Since we are on the business of post-scripting, have you realised that I'd just updated my profile description. Thought that this one sounds cooler than the previous one :P

3.5

2010-07-01T21:19:00.005+08:00

Happy three and a half years anniversary, dear dear! Wish you could be here.

We have been walking this journey together for quite sometime now. I hope we will be able to continue it for a long long time more.

Faith will see us through.

Thank you for being my lover, my best friend, my confidante, my supporter, my cheerleader and many other roles in my life. :)

Most of all, thank you for just being there.

Second Best

2010-06-29T21:08:00.000+08:00

We are all looking for something meaningful to fill up the emptiness inside us. The one day there will be no more loneliness.

Till then, we gotta make do with second best to get us by.

Of What Could Have Been And What Will Be

2010-06-28T22:14:00.001+08:00

I was looking through my phone the other night and chanced upon this note that I had left sitting in the notes section. Written almost a year ago, perhaps on a reflective night.

"I hope the sacrifices I made to become a doctor is worth it in the end. The people I left behind, the memories that will never be made now. For a better life? What's a better life anyway?"

They say you can't miss things you never had. But I know I'm going to miss those memories that will never be made now.

Another note more than a year ago sounded like this:

"Love makes one silly, love also makes one greedy; why is missing such a painful thing? Who understands my sorrows, lest they have gone through it before? To go back to what once was, I fear it will never be the same again. Were those the best years of my life? I wonder if you will miss those days that had gone by too."

It was just only last year, and I still remember the pain. Don't get me wrong, it's not all gone.

But now, it's more of a wistful remembrance that brings a smile to my lips. I'm done with thoughts of denial, I have come to an acceptance inside me. That this is what that's happening, and all I can do is accept and make the best of things.

There are so many things to hope for in the future, so if I want them to work out, what I should do now is work hard towards those goals and stop wallowing in self-pity.

Besides, I always remind myself: "Hey, it could always have been worse, right?"

You know what? Contentment comes with simple acceptance.

Sieve

2010-06-25T22:58:00.002+08:00

Doing General Practice makes me feel bad for forgetting so many things that I have learnt in the past. :(

Patients coming in with complaints regarding msk problems, skin problems (granted, I have not done dermatology yet), hypertension, mental illness etc problems that I should know a little more about. *sigh*

What happened to the things I learnt? This stupid brain is like a sieve.

I feel like a fraud. :(

PS: I feel I'm unable to get into my aussie med student mode after the mid year holidays. I have gotten too comfortable in my old skin. le sigh.

GP/Opthalmo In Winter

2010-06-24T22:15:00.003+08:00

You know it's true blue winter when you type this with ice cold hands. And no, it's nowhere near midnight yet. Weather forecast says the lowest temperature tomorrow will be 1 degree Celcius. Get this: ONE!!! SATU!!! It's going to be warmer in the fridge then. -_-""

Anyway, just finishing the 1st week of GP + Opthalmo, though haven't done anything of the latter yet. Tomorrow will have another GP session then I'm done for the week! The GP surgery I'm allocated is pretty good. (I dunno why they are called surgeries here, seeing that surgeries only happen in hospital, but that's just me.) They have a team of doctors who have schedules of their own working in the same medical centre, and my partner and I are attached to different ones each session.

And the GPs here are so different from the ones in Malaysia. In Malaysia, you don't need a referral to see a specialist while in Aussie, you do. Therefore, the GPs in Aussie see a wider range of cases.

And mental illness here seems more prevalent. So is it that doctors here are better at diagnosing it (or over-diagnosing it?) or Asians just take it better at emotions? To be honest, our general attitude would be to: suck it up! Therefore, more ppl are able to pull themselves out of depression and resume normal lives? Seriously, I have been thinking about this for sometime, but I don't have the answer. Anyone do?

I find it quite interesting... but I dunno if I have the patience/discipline to listen to all their lengthy woeful stories and reassure and encourage them appropriately. I think I still have sympathy, but it takes more than that to be constantly kind, firm, understanding yet empathetic to these patients. But poor things, it must be really hard to live with a mental illness.

This reminds me why I don't want to do psychiatry. Listening to patients tell you their heart-breaking story once in a while is okay, but everyday is a little too much for me. Don't think I can handle that. Maybe it's not because I'm not empathetic enough, but rather the opposite - too empathetic? Hmm, food for thought.

But anyway, I'm feeling a bit sleepy. Lucky I get to sleep in tomorrow, can hibernate under the blanket to fight the impending 1 degree. ;)

PS: A random thought last night: In places where it snows (meaning temperature is below 0 degrees), how come the water from the tap/toiletbowl doesn't freeze?

Recharged or Lazy?

2010-06-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

Sorry for not updating for sucha long time. I'm getting so lazy (with my blogging especially)!

I have been back from my Brisbane trip for 4 days now, and oh no, I have not done anything really productive these few days. :(

Well, the mid year break has been awesome, really recharged me. But now I feel too lazy to do anything. See, blog also lazy lah.

Anyway, classes start tomorrow! *runs off bawling* I don't wantttt!!! :(((

It's back to reality, zzzyun.

@ Brisbane #1

2010-06-09T11:24:00.002+08:00

Finally! Some photos to brighten up this blog.

I'm not going to give a blow by blow account of what happened. Have just chosen some photos that I like. The rest are on my facebook. Enjoy!

Some of the cooler quotes in their student lounge.

Me outside their medical school. :P

Ancient microscope

Me with a random huge ball of wool at the city

Interesting architecture of bridge

At the main campus - reminds me of an aqueduct in roman times.

Beautiful lake at their campus - so serene

City hall which houses the main museum

So many clock towers!

Saw this exhibition at the musuem which was titled "Prejudice & Pride".

It was about LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Transexual relationships)

Found it really interesting.

Woah! ;)

See. You can't assume anything these days.

Rocky

2010-06-07T21:51:00.000+08:00

Here I am, writing this post in Brisbane, Day 2 is currently winding to an end.

I must say, I have had a rocky start due to certain reasons. But hey, adversity builds character.

Shall update more next time. Time for some girl talk. ;)

Mid Year Break!

2010-06-05T15:43:00.002+08:00

Cliche as it sounds - gosh, how time flies! I felt that the 1st part of this year just flew by and unknowingly, I'm already halfway into 5th year!

And that means: HOLIDAYS! I'm officially on my mid year break of 2 weeks. Just finished paediatrics today and passed up my many reportsss. I'm highly anticipating my Brisbane trip this sunday! We will be going to Gold Coast as well! :D

Nope, I haven't pack my bags yet. Yannie calls that "cool till the end" lol. I promise I'll pack them after this.

Anyhow, I can't believe I've done 2 of the hardest postings this year. Not that GP/Opthalmo and Gen med is easy, but you know what I mean. Both O&G and Paeds is no stroll in the park.

-----------------------------------------------

Oops, wrote that halfway last night, then a friend came over to hang out, so I left that post hanging halfway.

At this point, I have packed most of my stuff. Will add if I think of anything new. I am only bringing 1 carry-on luggage bag though so I only have 7kg. Hope it doesn't go overweight!

I feel so excited! At the prospect of taking a proper holiday. Well, not proper per se, coz I am bringing some notes as well :( but we'll see if I even open them. :P

I can't wait for tomorrow to come!

I think I shall stop crapping here and do some work. So I can rightfully say I earned my holidays. hehe.

Will try to update soon on what's happening in Brissie. :)

Pre-Holiday Week

2010-05-30T23:31:00.002+08:00

Aloha! I'm back again and instead of giving excuses for the absence on this blog - all I can say is, for once, I'm not extremely busy. On the contrary, actually. I'm bored. Bored means there is nothing interesting happening or when I do think of something remotely interesting, I don't have a computer with me.

But anyway. After all that crap that I typed in less than a minute or something. Woah, I think I'm in a crapping mood. Better hold in the reins.

Okay, let's try again.

Well, I will be ending with my last week of Paediatrics. Community part of it is not really that great, to be honest. Limited clinical exposure. But anyway, all I have left are a few clinics, 1 lecture and 1 cbl. Radiology tutes have been cancelled. So I think my thursday and friday will be free. What am I going to do with all that time??

Yes, the resounding answer should be STUDY!! But omg, I'm in sucha holiday mood.. anticipating my Brisbane trip! My besties have already planned such an awesome itinerary for me! :D

Okay la. I dunno what to crap already. :( I will try to update when I think of something whimsical or inspiring. Instead of these sporadic boring updates k? ;)

For now, good night all!

Of Faith And Dreams

2010-05-21T01:51:00.003+08:00

I've just started watching this show that a friend passed to me. It's called 'Little Nyonya'. It's quite famous so I'm sure a lot of ppl have watched it before.

And I must say, it got me hooked! I really liked it... :) Well, I always have had a soft spot for dramas set in oldern times and women who fight to resist fate and have control over their own destiny. I know it's only a show, but hey there's no harm in using them as your inspiration to work harder.

As I grow older, and the naivety of youth is taken away from me, I had realised that there are some things in life that are fated to be. But no way am I going to take that lying down.

I'm going to do my utmost best to control my own destiny, my future. Call me naive if you will, but deep down inside, I still believe that the dreams I hope for will come true if I work hard enough for them.

Faith. That's the word.

Slogging

2010-05-20T23:31:00.000+08:00

Just thought I will pop in and say hi before turning in for the night. Yes, it's kinda late now. But I have been getting quite a good amount of sleep for the past few days, until I find it hard to fall asleep at night! lol. That's a rarity in recent times. Well that's thanks to a relatively free week of community paediatrics!

Anyway, when I'm busy not doing anything, I'm slogging away on my reportssss... Kinda finished at least the gist of the developmental report and the 2nd case report. The former's discussion part was hell to write. Government policies are difficult to talk about. Can't believe I'm saying this but gimme a pico question anyday now.

At the very least, my procastination days for reports are over! *pats self on back* Not much improvement on the studying part though. Must buck up after I fully finish all my reports.

Okay? No more excuses, miss!

PS: Happy birthday, little sis! :) Go celebrate after your exams! haha.

Your Absence

2010-05-18T02:17:00.001+08:00

Lying in bed, listening to song after song play in the background while sleep eludes me, I really miss you.