Not Anymore

A few weeks ago, someone asked me how I felt about my job - I told them there are good times, there are bad times - but on the overall, I love my job.

Today was one of those bad times. Healthcare workers here get verbally abused a lot, and the worse thing is, we shouldn't stand for it. But the really worst part? We do.

From talking with my colleagues, there seems to be a lack of respect for doctors nowadays. Actually, scratch that, I don't even feel like I need to be respected for my job, but can you please treat me like how you would treat a normal fellow human being? All these sort of verbal abuse wouldn't be tolerated anywhere else, I'm sad that it's rampant in healthcare settings. Not only from patients but also from fellow healthcare staff too...

The change in me from being a newly minted doctor to more than halfway through my internship is what I would definitely call life changing. There seems to be a general consensus from my peers is that internship hardens you - it makes you more experienced of course, but it also makes you tougher. It's sad but you do become more cynical compared to that shiny bright eyed you that just graduated and is eager to please. You start not taking any more shit from people, coz why should you?

I think I'd finally reached a point where I don't care anymore - if you start verbally abusing me, I'm not gonna take your shit anymore - I will tell you (still politely) that that is unacceptable behaviour and walk away if necessary. This is just my job, I'm not your slave. I'm going to stand up for myself. I tell you, this job can make the nicest person become the most stony hearted b*tch. True story, many people have told me so. And you know what else? Swearing a lot more.

I need to remind myself why I chose medicine - for the patients who care about us and are grateful for the care they receive. I wish we have more patients like that. Patients who cared as much about us as we care for them.