Freaking Frustrated~!

Today has just been nothing but one bad news after the other. =(

Had the EOS briefing at 11 am, and we're (well more specifically) moi was frightened to death over the fact that I have so much to cover for EOS and I haven't even freaking started!!

And Dr.Thani bombarded us with slide after slide of OSPE pics. Oh yes, shoot me pls.

Anyway, after that it was some briefing on our electives. And once again, I was chosen to be leader for my group (by some random bad fate or smtg)! Aikz. And I didn't have breakfast so was ravished (as in ravenous + famished! eh, I invented a new word for super hungry! haha...) but still hvta stay back, arggh. However, that's a small thing of coz, luckily for my group, we're all going different places, so we hvta write our own letters. Well, I'd briefed all the ppl in my group, so that's over and done with. phew~

After that, it was a lecture on pancreatic pathology... I feel so drained. (btw, it's the last lecture of sem3! omg!)

And all this time, I was suffering from quite severe back pain. I dunno why it's been coming on and off for the past week... Hope it's not a malignancy or smtg! :O *smacks own head for thinking too much*

Put all this aside, the killer bad news came during dinner.

I'm supposed to move in July, and I'd found a suitable room a few weeks ago. Tot all was settled and was quite happy. Manatau, today only the agent called me to say that there was a mistake in the rent agreed~! WTF!

Instead of the market price of abt RM500 for the room, she told me that it was supposed to be a twin-sharing with each paying RM500!!!! And she was oh-so-nice to talk to the owner and got me a discounted rent of RM700!

$%^*&%*@!!!!!! (sorry, I've run out of appropriate expletives!!)

That is SO not worth it... and your house isn't that nice either okay! Totally freaking insane. And summore hvta pay all 6 months' rent in one shot. No wayyyy!!

So I probably hvta turn her down... which means I'll be sleeping on the streets, come July. -_-

I'm freaking frustrated now... This has happened too many times!! Really sick of all this. ARRGH. Is it so hard to find a room that I want or am I too picky?!

Why does this sort of thing always happens to me? I see other ppl living so happily with their hsemates... they help each other and sorts. I don't ask for so much, I just wanna have a peaceful life and study with calm emotions.

Is that too much to ask for? Gah. *stomps around room, pretending that I weigh as much as an elephant, okay, fine I was just trying to be farny*

Whatever. I gotta pull myself together and study hard for the coming exam first...

But my emotions are affecting me too much. Progress is slow. I'm so dead. shyt. ='(

Penchant For Porridge

I seemed to have a penchant for posting food posts recently. [There's nothing wrong with a girl saying that she lurves food okay! I'd say that eating good food is sort of a reward for me...]

I'll try to make this a quick one, with pics!

Anyway, this is what I had for dinner today. I had been totally craving for porridge (don't ask me why) for the past few days, so I finally got to cook it today. Of coz, it's not as tasty as the ones my mum cooked, but I'll improve over time!

Tada~!

Chicken Porridge with mushroom and nuts for that added crunch!

Actually, I know why my porridge doesn't taste as nice as my mum's porridge. Becoz I used chicken fillet instead of real chicken with bones... The chicken pieces felt relatively hard. aikz. Next time hvta buy real chicken I guess, but kinda troublesome. Hvta chop chicken pulak. -_- No time lah...

I finally got the porridge to the consistency I want - not too watery or too thick, just nice. The first time I cooked, it became too thick in the end.

This is my first time eating it with nuts, it's a good addition to the porridge, and of coz, with limited ingredients, it's always a mix and cook fest for me! hehe.

Below is the so-called side dish.

Side dish... a fusion of foodstuffs.

I think you know the nuggets, they're a regularly featured member of this blog, so they need no introduction :P (what can I say? They are ready made, easy to cook and yummy to taste! lol.)

The salted eggs are a first, I just lurve eating porridge with salted eggs. There's another dish my mum used to cook - which is steam egg mixed with meat that I liked eating with porridge too, but I don't have the equipment for that here.

If you're observant, you might have noticed that there are small pieces of meat on the plate. Those are chicken fillet dipped in egg and fried... Tastes okay, probably shld have added some seasoning tho.

Just another closed-up pic of my porridge... *nice taste*

"Huh? It's looks a bit bland?"

Of coz I added generous amounts of soya sauce and pepper before I eat lah.. haha. Besides, the salted egg gives it enough taste already.

Alright, signing off now, till the next food post! *licks lips*

B.A.D.

Yesh, I'm gonna declare that for once, I'm a bad student today. Guess what I did? I skipped PBL 2 today - it's my first time since I started (told ya I was a good student).

It was just too much that I cudn't take it anymore... @.@

The craziness. The palpitations. The scurrying emotions. The many hours spent on PBL alone. The mental abuse. The stacked-up mountain-high pile of notes waiting impatiently for me to finish them.

Yes, truth to be told, I learnt a lot of things that I might have not known before... but will that be asked in the exam?

I can't sacrifice my GI exam just purely I spent too much time on PBL, don't you see?

I just can't.

(you understand, don't you?) *eyes big big, with tears swirling inside* Just kidding abt the tears, hehe.

Yesh, I know that we shld learn for the sake of learning per se, but I really don't wanna repeat the experience of feeling like a failure again. Besides, some of the stuff we learnt don't have any clinical importance anyway, although it's good to know. *shrugs*

It was a hard decision to make on my part, I struggled, but gave up in the end. [yes, it's a case of learned helplessness]

I really wonder how some ppl can skip countless PBLs just like that, without a tinge of guilt or anything... My conscience can be overwhelming sometimes, I guess.

Anyway, what's done done. And I learnt something valuable from this.

It's okay to be "bad" sometimes. As long as it's for the right reasons. yeah. hehe!

PS: Wow, before I end my ramblings, now blogger automatically saves our posts every other minute! No need to Ctrl + C the whole post everytime I press the Publish Post button for fear of losing the whole painstakingly typed post due to server failure or whatever the reason. And no need to keep saving my posts halfway thru typing them! Yipee~!

PPS: Last but not least, wanna wish Li Yann a very Happy Birthday here! Reaching the big 20 ade eh! Cheers, girl~! Good luck and all the best in the days to come! ^v^

Randomly

As expected, I failed my mock osce... Funnily, I don't really feel anything. I was like "oh, this is my result ke? Not very good hor..." And then, I didn't think of it anymore. lol.

Besides, I was only "well" prepared for the physical examinations... not for the theory part anyway in taking histories. That needs mugging... lots of it. *sigh*

But whatever, don't really care. Got lots of other things to focus on - for e.g. GI exam on next friday! o.O I'm a bit behind due to spending too much time on PBLs (you know why -_-") so guess I gotta buck up!

[Btw, I'm quite satisfied with my history taking this morning in CSU although I missed a few things... that's great to hear! I must continue to improve~! More amassing of knowledge, yup!]

Been spending quite some time in the library.. coz I get distracted very easily at home. (don't underestimate the evils of an internet connection and movie streaming! oh my!) Well, not that it's a lot better in the library. I'll get the innane urge to talk to the ppl around me. Gomen~

But besides that, not much distractions, except, well maybe of the mind. But luckily, those are few and far in btw.

Listening to songs while studying seems to be THE way to go, judging by the enormous number of ppl who do just that. I tried it today, it was quite good... except for the fact that my mp3 is a bit "cacat" as in the fact that I can't scroll to the next song now...coz the button is faulty! Ish. Guess I'll hvta get it fixed soon. But it's still usable now, except that I can't change songs halfway... Which means I'll hvta delete those songs not really suited to the studying atmosphere. yeap!

Well, I seemed to be rambling here, don't I? Just something to procastinate on in btw notes... :T

---------------------------------------------------

Speaking of procastination, my PBL fasci mentioned smtg a few days back.

He said the Main Two Addictions of a Student are:

1. Procastinating and
2. Being defensive

If you think objectively, what he said has some element of truth in it.. I'm totally guilty of #1. That is smtg I need to work on... but that needs alot of discipline. Which is what I'm trying to do by spending a lot of my time in the library. So far, progress is relatively satisfactory.

Abt #2, I'm not sure. It's kinda has a broad spectrum meaning, doesn't it? But I guess I can be defensive, depending on the situation... but whatever. This is really just pure typing what my brain tells me to type.

Erm I might had better spend that time on doing AIR topic or smtg. Which btw is freaking hard... I don't even know where to start!!! #$%^*&$@

Alrighty, better to get back to hitting the notes books... yup! Till the next time, ciaoz!

And He's Back!

Wow, have been extremely busy these pass few days.

Busy studying? Nah. I wish. *yawns*

Instead, we have been spending time with a certain person. And that person is none other than Hwei Sung! Yesh, he is back in the flesh... after leaving us to go to UNIMAS after sem 1... It was a sad departure then. (full post here)

Yeap, he came back on sunday, with a surprise visit planned. Only a few select ppl knew of his plan. It was so farny seeing others' surprised looks when he suddenly appeared from behind, lol. It has been such a long time since we last seen him, almost one year already.

Everyone was of coz glad that he was back. And it took us lots of time to fill him in on the MANY events that had happened while he was away. And boy, we only gave him overviews! But we just couldn't stop talking... Come to think of it, a lot really has happened the past few months... Wow.

Anyway, we went out for a nice dinner on sunday (wanted to go sumwhere more special, but becoz it was Mother's Day too, so everywhere was super packed!), mamak that night. Yesterday, he sneaked went back into IMU - still has his ID tag, hehe - and had lunch and went to lecture with us. Looking at this, it never ceases to amaze me the fact that he can come and go as he wishes seems like he has never left. *sigh*

Last night, we had a special dinner at Asia Cafe too. It was my first time there, and I gotta admit, it's quite a happening place! So many food choices there! wow. Oh ya, then they went Redbox after that (12-3am!!), pity I cudn't go becoz I was rather tired and it was kinda expensive anyway. Paiseh ya. And the free time in btw was spent playing PS2... he says that he misses playing Winning Eleven on that, lol. After 1 year of none playing, I hvta admit, he's still rather good. hehe.

Well, I'm glad that all of us are still able to talk and laugh together with none of the awkwardness that you might find common among frenz that have lost touch for sometime. I guess, it's true that frenz will always remain frenz, no matter how far apart one is from the other. yeap!

Anyway, he's going back today. I wonder what time is he leaving. Never tell us also. I wanna say my goodbyes eh... ^v^

PS: Abt PBLs, well let's just say use the words hectic and insane to describe it. But hvta admit, I learnt a lot of anatomy. And the human body is wayyy to complicated! Omg... @.@

PPS: Oh ya, for the (un)observant, they probably might have noticed that I've finally gotten a new advert for my blog! Yayz~! Thank you, Pensonic! =) Guess that my hits are high enough now... pity that I don't have time to write up really good posts. Or else the hits might shoot up higher... Anyway, hope that I get to earn some moolah this time! Yippee!

A New Dish And Then Some

Yet again, another food post! ^v^

This dish is a "family recipe" of sorts, and improvised by no other than me...! (cooked with help by Kee - better credit him, or else he'll say I never mention him!) hehe.

Feast your eyes. (notice the pun? lol)

Doesn't it look absolutely yummy-licious? *licks lips*

The mee is specially brought from penang, coz I've some distant family that makes this wantan mee. Therefore, it can be considered as A-grade stuff~! Yummy!

The wantan mee is boiled and seived as normally done. What is different is that my family makes the sauce from a mixture of sesame oil + pepper + soya sauce for that delicious unique taste!! (Latter two are also good stuff, especially the soya sauce which is made by the same distant family!)

Hey, careful! Don't drool over that keyboard~! :P I feel hungry just looking at it...

What I have improvised is that I've added sausages slices fried with some pepper seasoning. I've also added some fried nuts (which is used for other dishes normally) to give it a different texture... crunchy! And last but not least, the nuggets were specially dipped in lots of egg before frying.

Conclusion is that it was really tasty... I love it! *heart*

It doesn't really have a name. Maybe I shld name it Zizi's Wantan Mee, huh? lol.

------------------------------------------------------------

Speaking of naming food, that reminds of smtg farny that happened during dinner a few days ago.

We're talking abt the rumours that one/both of our canteen operators were maybe leaving for greener pastures. Which might leave us rather deprived of food... scary!

Anyway, then we're joking that if we opened a fastfood restaurant ourselves (actually might earn more money too!)... what would we name the restaurant and food there.

Numerous names were given. Even McBear Happy Meal sets that come with cute teddy bears were planned to be given out. :P [inside joke!]

But nothing more farny than this.

KG Burger - Eat this and put on the Kgs!

*Complete with smooth suave advert voice and all*

(KG = Kao Gai = Beh's fav phrase = very what the heck! in hokkien)

If you don't get the joke, don't worry... it's more like an inside joke. Just tot it was worth putting up since it was really funny! :D

Anyway, at least do appreciate the pun inside the motto. Because I was the witty-pants that came up with it. hehe. [I wonder who would want to eat this burger, probably only those that are underweight? lol.]

I lurve fooood....

Craving For A Brownie

It was late at night.

I thought it was really sweet of you to purposely drive out to buy me the brownie that I was craving for...

Despite the fact that you just said it was a bit mafan ("troublesome") and out of the way when I told you of my craving in the library.

Thanks. I appreciate it. =) Love ya~

PS: Sorry for the lack of updates, recently. Been spending LOTS of time preparing for PBL only. sigh. More of this and I'm really gonna go nutty! @.@

PPS: Going to watch Spiderman 3 tmr night, after my crazy PBL is done! Thanks for purposely going to Sunway to buy the tickets too!! ^v^

World's Best Suicides

I got this from an email, and tot it was farny enough to share it with you guys. Behold, here are some of the best suicides in the world~! ^v^

Well, a cat has nine lives indeed.

Looking at this, the poor cat need 4 more ways to kill itself. lol.

Suggestions, anyone?

Man, doesn't the cannibal loves his food!

So much so that he have started eating himself~! Ewww...

He'll probably die by the time he reach his heart tho. Blek.

Wow, this guy sure has chosen a bad tree to commit suicide by hanging.

He'd probably die by starvation first b4 the tree has time to grow tall enough. lmao!

I didn't know it was physically possible to flush urself down the toilet!

He really must have run out of ways to kill himself. Poor thing.

Changing of Fortunes - For Good or For Bad?

Alright, haven't really been talking abt my life for sometime. Here's a catch-up post of sorts.

Well, my life has been going fine and dandy for quite a few days. *hums "Don't worry, be happy" tune* :P Dunno, maybe after cutting down on the complaining/whining, my heart has become lighter? I hope so. =)

I was in quite good spirits the last few days. And if there's anything that may pull me down, I just tell myself to take it like it is and just be happy, heck. To tell the truth, there were many reasons that I cud had been down last week *think of PBLs for example*, but I didn't. Just took it in my stride. For that, I'm quite proud that I'm making improvement.

However, there are some issues that ruffled a few of my feathers today, so to speak. Just some "moving house vs staying put" issues. Actually, it is a minor thing, but caught unawares, my mood just spiralled downhill. Plus the fact that it's been a looong day where my will is put to test yet again *think of CSU just now*

I must tell myself now, no way am I gonna let this stupid thing bother me! I am strong. I'm trying to improve... how can I stop becoz of this? NO WAY!

Okay, this might sound incoherent to you guys but anyhow, I'm just trying to get my spirits up. I'm not going to let this minor stupid thing get me down. yup! I feel better now, except for the backache. aikz.

Anyway, just as a note to self: I'm so glad that I've managed to catch myself halfway thru a sentence before saying anything hurtful for the past few days. (well, I failed once last night, but it was out of a good intention) But excluding that, the plan for change towards a better self is going well.

If I continue on, I think I'd be able to see some significant improvement. Now, I just need to remember when to keep my big mouth shut. The difficult thing is not talking, or keeping silent; the most important thing is to know when to talk or not to talk, that is the question! - as Shakespeare would have put it, if it'd occured to him.

Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something. - Benjamin Franklin

That is smtg I'm trying to do, it's not easy, given that I'm someone that had cultivated the habit of shooting off my mouth without going thru my brain (though scientifically that isn't possible), but still I'll persevere. Plus that with the fact that I'm trying not to whine so much, and you get a relatively more silent me? Am I nothing but whines + insults? I wonder.

Anyway, this post is just to cheer myself on, to continue fighting the odds. Everything will be fine one day, as long as we keep trying our best, right? That's what I like to believe anyway. yeah.

--------------------------------------------------------

On another not really related note, I haven't blogged abt my haemato results yet. It was released last monday. And I was really really afraid of what I was going to get... but I kept telling myself: "if I really didn't do well, I'm not allowed to whine, remember that, zzzyun." It was not easy to keep those emotions whirling inside me in check, but I did.

But I guess, by some stroke of good fortune, or maybe I've accumulated enough good karma - who knows - I got a relatively good result. It was really unexpected, let me be frank with you, so I guess the lecturers were super lenient in the SAQ part. Coz I made lots of wrongs in the MCQs. yeah. If you had just let me borderline-pass, I'd had been thankful already coz I was all prepared to fail.

Btw, lots of people didn't do well this time. I think this was the worst average results of my batch among all the in-course assessments, yes, including CVS. Abt 70 ppl failed Haemato, compared to CVS where around 50 failed. So Haemato is officially THE killer paper for now. However, I'm sure EOS3 would be the cream of the crop though, so to speak. -_-"

Oh ya, if you're observant, you might have noticed that I've added a Countdown to EOS in the sidebar of my blog. That was becoz I found out that I've less than 60 days left a few days ago. *loud gasp in horror* So I tot that if I put sucha countdown timer in my blog, it might motivate me to study more. Hope it works.

Speaking of studying, I better get my fingers off this keyboard and open up those notes! *yikes*

Fish And Chips

This is what me and Kee cooked for lunch today. It was first time I was trying my mum's recipe for Fish and Chips, so we're testing it out and hoping that it will turn out yummy-licious!

And guess what? It did~!

Let's tempt you guys with some pics.

Behold, Fish and Chips - minus the Chips. lol.

Doesn't it look delicious? *licks lips - oh cephalic phase! * -_-"

Oh ya, forgot to arrange the pieces so the sausages were a bit hidden from sight. (can you spot them? hehe)

Cooking this isn't too hard.

Here's what you need - The Ingredients:

1. A few pieces of Dory Fish (err, not that type from Finding Nemo okay)
2. Pepper
3. Eggs
4. Salt
5. Bread Crumbs - it's packaged in boxes in supermarkets

First, to marinate the fish for taste! It's better to do this the night before so that the sauce can seep in for that perfecto taste.

Right, start by slicing the fish pieces (longitudinally, lol) into thinner slices [after thawing of coz]. It may look quite thin now but when you add the coat, it will become thicker in size.

Then, break the eggs into a container. Add pepper and salt - amount is up to your discretion. I think it takes experience to know how much to put. I think it's better to put a little bit more so that there's enough taste.

After that, dip the fish slices into the mixture. Make sure all surfaces are marinated adequately. Then keep this in the fridge overnight.

The next day, take it out earlier for it to defrost. When you're ready to cook your meal, place the still moist fish slices into the breadcrumbs which are set out on a plate. Make sure to cover the entire surface area of the fish slices with the breadcrumbs.

Heat up the pan, then add in generous amounts of oil since it's best to deep fry. The oil must at least cover the fish slices. However, I cut down on that since I don't wanna increase my oil intake, but it tastes best deep fried of coz.

Right, it's time to add the fish slices into the pan! yayz. If you deep fry, there's less worries when turning them over. Unlike me, who wanted to stir fry, there were some problems over the breadcrumbs coming off halfway. [notice those 'defects' in the pics? hehe]

Make sure it's properly cooked before taking it out. (who knows what sort of bacteria cud be inside! but hey, spores are heat-stable right? uh-oh)

Anyway, this is another delicious pic of how the end product looked like.

*scrumptious* I wouldn't mind cooking it again! =D

Don't you lurve the angle this photo is taken? hehe.

Actually, to confess, I quite enjoy cooking. Minus the 'mafan' parts like preparation and cleaning up though. I like the real cooking and the eating part. keke.

If I can be at least half a good cook as my mum is, I'd be sooo happy ade lo! Maybe I'll learn some more chinese-y dishes next. ^v^

Alright, till the next time I steal more of my mum's recipes! (gotta start learning more, since need to cook more next time when I go overseas, yup!)

Mental Disorder + New Book

(yesh, I know the title of this post is very uncreative. But my brain has gone bust on me.)

Oh, look! I've finally proven that I'm mental. yay. :P

What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) You can never seem to calm down and always feel anxious for unknown reasons. You tend to not be able to concentrate and have headaches or other anxiety symptoms.
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)
Manic Depressive
Paranoia
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
What mental disorder do you have?

Well, I've always tot that I was a bit psycho. hehe. But look! Since I seemed to suffer from many mental afflictments, they have diagnosed me with Generalised Anxiety Disorder. How convenient.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder - Why am I not surprised. Perfect example wud be someone overly concerned with personal hygiene till they start taking multiple baths a day. That someone was me. "Was" becoz I'm trying to control now. Besides, water is getting expensive. blek.

Manic Depressive - Wasn't sure what is it till I check trusty Wikepedia. Apparently it's means Bipolar Disorder. Trust me to understand the medical term for it. lol. Hmm. Not very sure, but since I do suffer from mood swings now and then (normally with reason of coz) I guess this is relatively true. *shrugs*

Paronia - Who wouldn't be in this dark dangerous age? Where walking alone in a dark street at night is cause enough for palpitations. But so far I'm okay with this. Haven't gotten really bad yet. :P

Attention Deficit Disorder - Oh, I scored quite low for this. So it means I can pay FULL attention to you whenever you come and talk to me. hehe. Anyway, I still think I suffer from this whenever I'm facing my lecture notes/medical textbooks. Like what I'm doing now. I shld be reading abt the anatomy of the $%#$%@ transverse colon. bleh.

---------------------------------------------------------------

On another unrelated note, I finally gotten this great book - Oxford Handbook of Clinical Medicine! (which I'd thought of buying for a long long time ade)

yesh, this is a pic of the 6th edition. the newest I cud find.

And it was lucky that I didn't buy it on impulse in VK. The seventh edition is out! With colour and a radiology section as well! *carress its cover lovingly* lol.

Btw, many thks to Beh who got it for me in Kamal bookshop for a dirt cheap price of RM59~!! *whoops of joy* I'm so happy that I got a bargain. keke.

So far I find it rather handy and useful. At least it's petite enuf for me to not find it a burden to lug it around. *think of the humongous papa dorlands that I shldn't have bought, sigh*

Alrighty, time to get back to reading abt colons and what-nots. bah.

PS: Just tot that I'd blog a post that has slightly less words in it after the last few wordy posts - congrats to those who managed to read everything! Anyway, thks to those who supported me thru my emo period. hehe. I'm feeling much better now.

Sweeping The Dust Off

This topic has been discussed to death but I shall plod on with my own interpretation of the subject.

Friends. Your second family after your real family. The closest people that you will come to depend upon, especially when you're a few hundred km/miles from your real family. Those who have been thru this will certainly nod their heads in ackowledgement.

I really really admire and envy those who have been good frenz since childhood/primary school/high school till now. Somehow gives a real meaning to the phrase "Frenz Forever" don't you think? =) I could never boast of that, since my frenz and I were often separated thru a series of rather unfortunate events after finally bonding and becoming comfy with each other.

Hereforth, I shall remisnice abt my personal friendship history, so to speak. [but of coz, no names ya]

Primary School:

That is kinda blury. (hey, my memory ain't that good already to start in the first place, right?) But I definitely remember that from most of my "best friends" that I made were sent to a different class every next year. And that was how our friendship wiltered. Maybe we're just too young.

In standard 5, I met you. You were different, but not in a good way. You taught me how to be mean, and I followed you around. My excuse was that I was impressionable? -_- Luckily in standard 6, I'd finally seen you with my real eyes. And in the end, I became good frenz with the person that you dissed for no reason. (I shall name her as Fruity) Ironic, isn't it? Well, we make our mistakes. *shrugs*

High School:

I tot I could continue being good frens with you, Fruity. However, you became a school prefect (one of the much hated groups! o.O) and I was a self-proclaimed rebel. And the distance btw us grew wider and wider. Saddened, somehow I met another bunch of frenz. They were smart and witty. So we became good frenz from then on.

However, smtg bad happened during the 3rd year. Another person invaded our space and things were never the same again, however hard we tried to breach the gap. (complete story here and here) That was one of the crucial turning points in my life. I was really hurt that time, and kept everything inside till I almost wanna "explode" emotionally . After cooling down, I told myself that I'm never hurting myself that way again and swore that I'll just tell everybody whatever was on my mind. No more bottling up...! [experiences do shape what we become in a way] So maybe you peeps might understand a little more abt why I turned out to be who I am today = someone that is too outspoken for her own good.

Anyway, continue the story. My grades plunked significantly then (and I'd like to blame it on that incident but, who knows...) and I was sent back one class. A class with people that were very foreign to me. But my disappointment turned to happiness when I met another group of frenz that brought me lots of joy. Those days were really good happy days. I miss those days, although they were short-lived. :D

In the fifth year, I was sent back to the first class coz I've managed to pull back my grades. I finally got what I wanted, but I really miss those frenz. We tried our best to remain tight as a gang, but our efforts were nothing but a futile fight put against fate. We plan outings and hang outs... it was something out of a feeling that was fast fading, but better than nothing. Till this day, we do keep in contact now and then. So I'm still glad. ^v^

Fifth year in the original class? I was more distant I guess. Didn't really want anything dramatic with that other group. Guess I was just emotionally tired. Nothing really special. The tightness of that special old bond was sought after but could never be returned, although we did tried. But at least we do remain in irregular contact till now. I'm happy that they are doing well. =)

Tuition Centres:

Fourth year in high school was the first time I went to a tuition centre (before this all were private small classes) I'd like to say that it was Fate that brought us together. We just became fast frenz... a gang of us that studied together during classes, ate fries with mayonaisse and talked crap during breaks. Really really miss those happy times. It was great fun! *eyes turned glassy with memories* I met one good fren there and most of us still keep in touch nowadays. Though I feel that what we're doing now is still not enough. We must add oil in keeping this bond intact! I really treasure it~!! ^o^

College:

A year of new discoveries. The same curse striked and a good fren that I became close with left the college not long after. But we still keep in contact and she gives me good advice now and then. She's really different and do things her own way, and I admire her for that. =) After her departure, it was more like downhill all the way. It was the first time I kena backstabbed by someone I tot was a fren, but I shall not talk more abt that. (complete story here) It really opened my eyes to the ways of the world. Who can blame me if I'm a little cynical? Been there, done that.

University (still in the making):

I guess in the end, naive me was still hoping that I could experience true friendship in its purest form. Maybe I had, I dunno. Maybe I will come to a conclusion in the future. Anyway, [I dunno how many of you'd be reading this] but I wanna say I'm very happy to have the luck to meet you guys here (both girl and guy gang) and I really appreciate the times we have together. Of coz, since most of us stay in Vista, of coz, we would spend more time together compared to normal frenz. It wasn't all happy joyful times, but hey, sad times and conflicts do strengthen the bond, don't they? ^o^

We basically do almost everything together. We study, gossip, eat, chill, talk crap, hang out together. That's what I meant earlier when I said friends are like your second family. yeah. Anyway, most of us would be parting ways slightly more than a year later - thinking of this bring tears to my eyes - but it's smtg that is inevitable.

But at least we had some fun times, didn't we? Well, let's hope that we will use the time left wisely and treasure it for a loooong time to come. Cheers!

Smtg tells me that after uni life, real friendship is smtg hard to come by again, especially among colleagues. Maybe I'll discuss that in a later post. I didn't want to believe this (see? naive!), but this is what others told me.

Right, so far my story is up till now. The future is up to us to weave! (^v^)v

= Life life so there are no regrets! =

Angel vs Demon(s)

Wrestling with inner demons is never an easy task. Not one that can be vanquished in the snap of fingers. It takes time.. long perseverance. An aspect that I still haven't been able to happily brag that I acquire.

Anyway, here's the scoop of the year week. The fault that I had accused others of having in this post, only the other day, I was enlightened to that fact that I am guilty of the very same thing myself. I'm sucha hypocrite, ain't I?

Yeah, apparently, I'm quite a scrawny whiner myself in my very own way. Well, I've always been one to do things different from the herd, huh? Anyway, what she say is true, come to think of it, (although the sudden frankness of it practically took my breath away, I was stunned for quite sometime).

This has suddenly reminded me of some books that I read in my childhood. Some of you might have rmb reading stories of "Elizabeth - The Naughtiest Girl in The School" by Enid Blyton. She was a headstrong girl, but at one part, she was enlightened to the fact that it takes courage to admit one is wrong, and it takes lots of determination to change for the better.

Well, thinking back, what she say is very true. [yes, I really appreciate your honesty, only a true fren would tell you when you're wrong, right? Thanks.] Funny how the morals of a childhood tale can come back to haunt us, eh?

Well, I do have the courage to admit I'm wrong. I wonder if I have the determination to change? That remains to see.

However, it still is hard at times. Suddenly, you feel a bit more ALONE in this lonely world, when before this, you thought you could alwix count on good frenz to be your moral-cheerleading squad in dark times. (those who still have the luxury to depend on your parents, enjoy it for as long as it lasts, maybe you'll understand more then)

Sometimes, I wonder. Who can I turn to? Someone that won't think that I'm just some troublesome person who whines a lot abt stupid stuff. *looks around and sees no one* [btw I'm definitely allowed to whine on my blog, coz no one put a gun to your head and force you to read okay]

I need someone that I can talk to without any restraint. Just totally baring my soul. Who is that angel that can lend me his/her shoulder to cry upon? *Sigh*

I can see that it's not gonna be easy, in fact, more like an uphill marching task. SOS signals seemed to be emitting from my brain, I dunno why.

Well, as another fren said, we all wish to be someone that brings life and smiles to others, but by being a whiner, I'm doing the exact opposite. I'll be sucking the life out of others. And do more of that, and people will start avoiding you like the plague. yeah.

Alright, I dunno what to write anymore. The rest I'll just leave it to ferment in my scrawny shrivelling brain. Besides, if I start whining too much in my blog, I just might scare my readers away, huh?

Whatever.

Keeping Up The Pleasing Facade

Sometimes, I wonder how do people find the energy and the will to try to please others and feed their egos by saying nice sweet nothings [which they don't mean at all] almost every single minute of the day.

I can't. I just can't find it in me to purposely please others, especially when you yourself might be burning with anger and indignation inside. I have always firmly believed that one shld be true to one ownself. Today was the first day someone told me straight to my face that she likes the fact I'm very true to myself AND meant it as a compliment. Before this, it was always "I really like you that you're very straightforward and true to yourself. But maybe you shld change a bit, as it might be not advantageous to you in the future."

It's true. Maybe it's my biggest flaw, the fact that I'm extremely crippled in hiding my own emotions, which have been going thru a maelstrom lately. Which a lot can said to be due to undue stress.

Yes, I get easily stressed up over the smallest silliest things. And a lot of the time, it's out of concern and worrying for others. But no, I don't think they know or appreciate it. Instead, they might think that I'm just an oversensitive bitchy fool who complains and whines a lot over the tiniest stuff. Can anyone teach me how to be indifferent and not care so much? It's hurting me and people around me.

I'm feeling lost now. It doesn't take much to make me happy and forget my troubles. But it also doesn't take much to take it all away and watch the rocks come crashing down. That's how I am made. But this time, it might be that the sky is the one that is falling down. And no, I'm not a character in a Chicken Little bedtime tale.

It's not healthy. But it's not easy to change. You are not me, so you probably won't understand. And will just dismiss this post as just an "emo post" which in the end, very well might just be that.

But can anyone tell me please, how in the world, do you go on and on keeping up this facade of cheery pleasing faces to others? How do you keep yourself emotionally distant from others? And when is it that you are truly you and no one else?

Try as I may, sometimes I just can't go on. Then I'll say hurtful things I don't mean and know very well that I shouldn't say them, but still, my mouth has a mind of its own and... I say them. Or my change in sentiments and emotions are reflected a tad too clearly on my face even when I know very well I shouldn't. I just lack the urge or ability to go on showing this cheery happy facade, do you understand? I really can't.

I really dunno. No one really seems to understand. I give them credit for at least trying, but I don't think they do understand. If they do, they wouldn't be so afraid that they might say the wrong thing and get me all worked up. They don't understand. I try to do good, but no, it is just not working. But then I can't expect a perfect world where everybody is a great noble utilitarian, can I? Silly naive me.

My blog - I love it a lot. It's the only place where I can express my thoughts. (although recently there has been some conflict regarding that too, but I'm not going there *extracts self from dangerous territory*)

I shouldn't be emo-ing my time away. Time is precious now. Let's hope the world will become a little more brighter tomorrow.

A Knock On The Head

Busy, hectic, crazy, tiring. Countless words that can be used to describe what my life feels right now. Dunno why, but I've been feeling kinda tired coupled with weird throbbing headaches recently.

I'd like to attest that it is due to silly clumsy me accidentally knocking my head really forcefully on the upper bunker of my double decker bed on monday that has been causing all this. *bump slowly appears* =( But who knows, it might psychosomatic after all. (meaning it's all in the mind) But it has caused me to feel irritable, aggitated, dull and fatigued. I'm wondering if the knock cud have been so forceful that there's internal bleeding/clot? Omg.

Just came back from CSU just now. And I cudn't concentrate well at all. I dunno if it's becoz of this or due to the lack of sleep [which cud also be caused by the former as well]. Even the doctor asked "why I looked so dull". I think I probably looked like a black cloud was hanging over my head or smtg. *sigh*

Anyway, probably shld be resting I guess. Too many things happenning at such a fast rate. [CSUs, PBLs, lectures, studying!] My eyes looked like it's drooping (partial ptosis - gasp, Horner's Syndrome!!) At any rate, I think I can safely say I do have Medical Students' Syndrome, lol.

Alright, gonna rest for a while first... toodles!

The PBL

Sorry for the "irregularly irregular" in updates recently. (for those not in the know, that phrase is used to describe pulses!) Well, a med student's life is never that free, ain't it? Been busy as a bee lately. Not to mention s.t.r.e.s.s.! *starts pulling hair tradition*

Wondering why? yesh, I know, our exam just finished last friday too. Well, the obvious wud be pointing fingers towards my first PBL 2 in GI... with none other than Htin Aung as a fasci!! *gasps*

To be truthful, it wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. But then I have been told that I've a vivid imagination that I tend to use towards pessimism. Anyway, although it wasn't that bad, it wasn't that good either, but it could have been worse. (getting confused? Let's just say I rate it as moderate, but I definitely could do with some improvement.)

Anyway, I was really uber stressed the night before, been preparing for this for quite a few nights. So stressed out that my normally nice smooth face was suddenly invaded by a few acute-onset pimples! Ish. I know, silly me. Well, at least now I know a considerable lot abt esophageal diseases now! lol.

Alright, I confess, I did a solid good preparation for almost everything except anatomy. Was alsolutely stressed out that I was like "to hell with the anatomy of the pharnyx, tongue and mouth"! I figured that I'd know enough to cheat my way by.

Alas, it was not to be. Apparently a lot of that knowledge had somehow trickled out of my dumb brain. And as I'd NOT have it, I was quite unfortunately chosen to present the anatomy of the pharynx to the group (which coincidentally consist of two PBL group that were merged, totalling to more than 20 ppl!). And presenting something that I'm not very sure of to so many ppl was definitely not an appealing idea. No way.

And I didn't have the presence of mind to keep my composure. I'm pretty sure that I was visibly-as-humanly-possible-nervous. (well, public speaking ain't my strong point, so cut me some slack here!) I'd have been better if I'd known the subject. Anyway, thks a bunch to Dejun for lending me his notes, real life-saver! Arigato!! ^o^

Anyway, thks to my nervousness, I had to confuse btw oropharnyx and nasopharnyx. -_-" Everyone probably think I'm a fool by now. yeah. Okay, I'm just exaggerating but stillll...

I think Htin Aung let me off coz he saw how nervous I was. I know that's pathetic of me.. but what to do. I promise myself I'll work myself even harder, next time! Anyway, I think I managed to redeem myself a little bit by venturing answers here and then & managing to answer the one question he threw at me alone. Due to my suggestion that myaesthenia gravis can cause dysphagia in the first PBL. Thank god I was able to answer that one coherently enough. I probably managed to convince him that at least I wasn't an idiot. Or have the intelligence of a low-life amoeba. Riiight.

Besides, he sure was more strict with some of my other group members. Kelian. Hope next time will be better ya! Smilez! =)

After poking fun at myself for the heck of it (it's essential to maintain a sense of humour to keep oneself sane, you know), I declare that PBL for once was really informative. Learnt loads from him. Well, at least he's intimidating enough to force me to down tons of info in preparation for PBL. yeah. I foresee a crazy 6 weeks with him. I'd survived the first, that leaves another 5 weeks. [so do pardon me if there are less updates within this period okay]

Anyway, I'll try to do a better preparation for the next few helluva weeks, and yesh, not excluding anatomy. Everythang.

As he'd always say: "Would you let me treat your mother (or insert any close family member you can think of) if I only know 60% of what I know now?"

The correct response was of course a shake of heads.

But truth to be told, what he is saying is true. I'd not want to be a half-past-six doctor if I could help it. Although he have lots of droll interesting stories to tell us of when he were in our shoes, at least he inspired us, or me at the very least, to study and amass more knowledge. *fired up*

PS: Myasthenia Gravis is a disease that affects mainly striated skeletal muscle. So it causes dysphagia (difficulty in swallowing) coz it can affect the upper 1/3 of the esophagus plus upper esophageal sphincter which consists of that sort of muscle.

PPS: Two PBL groups were merged becoz his wife was busy with some uni event. I think they are a funnily cute couple. lol. Btw, his way of doing PBL is that we prepare ALL topics and then he will randomly pick one of us to present. And he gave us so many topics too! (yeah I'm sucha whiner :P)

PPPS: Htin Aung is a great teacher, I'd not give any less praise than that. Can you believe that he read Gray's Anatomy a mind-blowing total of 32 times?! o.O And he has a fren that has read the whole Robbin's an unimaginable total of 37 times! *OMFG*

PPPPS: Went out to destress on thursday night after a crazy three hours of PBL (note: double the normal length). Kee and I went to Sunway to have dinner at Kim Gary (luv it! besides got to use the discount voucher!) and catch Sunshine the movie. The movie was pretty good, I like it, altho it got a bit too gory for my liking at the ending. I might blog abt it sometime. These precious nights out are just too few in btw.

PPPPPS: Am back in penang while typing this post. For less than 48 hours though sadly. Going back tmr morning for more crazy studying! :T Could have had 1 extra day if only the time for PBL could be changed. *sigh* Well, at least I'd sufficiently recharged during this short trip. I slept more than humanly possible imo anyway. There's no place like HOME~! :D

Whiners

Yes. They do exist, somewhere out there.

However, they usually don't present appear so on first impressions. They might even appear to be nice friendly people.

But get to know them a little bit too better, you will soon hear all the whinings that you never tot was possible.

"Aiya, I always don't get to eat the nice parts wan..."

"Where got? The notes always tak sampai me wan..."

"Huh? Yeah meh? You all always never ask me out wan..."

etc etc... *insert other examples of whining here*

There are countless examples which I'm too lazy to conjure up, besides I think they are too ridiculous to complain abt anyway. But apparently not so for that particular subset of people.

If you ask me, there are some things which you just hvta take the intiative to do it yourself. You can't expect things to be handed to you on a silver platter. Seriously. -_-"

Remember this, although people ARE your frenz, it doesn't mean that they MUST attend to your every whim okay. Open your mouth, walk over, approach someone and ask. Doesn't cost a penny, doesn't hurt anyone.

And one thing I've noticed (and why am I not surprised *rolls eyes*), they seemed to have a selective memory too. Or maybe it's a propensity to exaggerate things a tad too much for my liking.

There are many instances where I definitely did take the intiative to give them the prized part of whichever delicacy; to purposely walk over and hand them the notes etc... Which they have oh-so-conveniently push that fact out of their minds when they start their whining sessions. Saying that EVERY freaking TIME people "always" leave them out.

Puh-lease. -_-"

Okay, I won't be so high and mighty to think that I'm below such a fault. I do whine sometimes. But I think I do save it for purposeful reasons. And not those I'm-so-pityful-people-always-bully-me sort of thing. No, thank you. That is sooo not my thang. (erm.. think american black accent, lol)

Come to think of it, this post is whining abt whiners, ain't it? Ironic... I just might be guilty of what I'm accusing other ppl of doing afterall.

Aih, whatever.

PS: Sometimes I just feel so pissed off. I do not like being used by others. Get this into your thick skull, although I might appear friendly self-sacrificing sometimes (and I can be depending on the situation), I really DO NOT appreciate being used constantly. Pls don't be such a selfish jerk. Frenz do not exist just so you can use them. ARRGH!

What Students Do...

...when they dunno how to answer exam questions. Be prepared to laugh your asses off! =D

(I got this in an email, and tot it was farny enough to be posted up.) Enjoy!

Wahliao... use objective answer sheet to shade out a Mashimaro... Really creative!

The boy probably said: "But all I did was follow the instructions!"

Teacher: "-_- I didn't mean for you to 'expand' the maths question LITERALLY."

lol. The student did the question until cannot do, then progressed to the 'hangman' stage.

Creative usage of mathemathical symbols. =P

Erm, this student didn't answer the question. Instead, wanted to find out the identity of batman using calculus. o.O Creative, nevertheless.

Talk about being finding x 'literally'.

Wonder what the student was thinking when he wrote that...

"The teacher must be blind!"

PS: Congrats to those who won the SRC election! ^o^ I'm glad that most of those who are elected are from M106... Yayz! We rock!

Diamonds Flowers Are A Girl's Best Friend

Hmm, scratch that. Flowers will do nicely too. =) I don't ask for too much, epecially most of us are still students, depending financially on our parents.

Anyway, I promised a long time ago that I'll put pics up of the flowers that my dear dear gave me on Valentine's Day. Finally I've gotten the pics from him and have time to put them up. Do enjoy!

Isn't it lovely?? I just lurve it... <3

The bear bear that came with the flowers is also very kawaii.. *pinches its cheek*

Well, I still have the bear bear with me (of coz!) but the flowers have all wilted. blek. Wanted to press-dry the flowers but it didn't work. I knew I shld have dried the flowers first! Anyway, used my papa Dorlands and Marieb to squish it, sadly, in the end, the juice just ran out and dirtied my book. -_-

Nevermind, I'll know what to do next time. Well, depending on whether there is a next time of coz. (sorry for being pessimistic, but then I'm just preparing myself for all possibilites)

Right. I'm tired out from watching so many tv series and anime. Marathon leh! haha. So gonna take a rest before going swimming later. Hope it doesn't rain. yeap!

Anyway, for the summary on how I spent this year's Valentine's Day, do click here. [but it's old news though] ^v^

Jumping Hurdles - On Not Giving Up

Finally, I've time to sit down, relax and blog a proper post. Both hurdles are over - mock OSCE and haemato exam. *heaves sigh of relief*

I shall talk abt the exam first, coz emotions abt that are overwhelming.

Well, I didn't do well for the exam, despite the relatively larger amount of effort I put in. I did studied hard for it, but guess luck wasn't on my luck this time (unlike during respi). There were quite a few MCQs that I were not sure about, and I changed my answers countless times, but in the end, the wrong answer was chosen. And everyone knows that too many wrong MCQs can totally kill one off, as it's worth 2 marks per Q. I'm SO dead due to this.

Why oh why didn't I study that BS paper? That alone caused me 4 marks. =( And it had to come out Qs that can't be answered using common sense the ONLY time that I didn't read the BS lecture note. Bah.

Why oh why so few Qs abt pharmaco came out!! I think I'd have been able to answer better if they set more Qs on that. I see a general trend now, they like to focus on patho more, and pharmaco less. There were so many drugs against the parasites, but none came out. bleh. Do you know how much effort we students put in to memorise the stupid drug names?! Seriously, I think the paper shld be more balanced leh, pharmaco is important too... What is the point if you can make a diagnosis but can't treat the patient, right? Ish.

SAQs isn't too good either. Got quite a few wrong answers too. Hope the lecturer would accept some of my answers. *prays fervently coz I really need it this time* One thing that I don't like abt my uni's exams is that the way they phrased the Qs are always too vague, there are a lot of times I know the answers, just that I dunno what they want. ARGGH! [shld I start the "tearing hair out" tradition? o.O]

OSPE was generally bad for most ppl (as keeping to the usual tradition, gah). I cud answer a few of the Qs ("tembak" correctly the parasite!) but some of the answers for differential diagnosis is just plain weird. I'll admit that I really dunno. Guess I still hvta study harder!!

So that's the overview on the exam. I really am afraid that I'll fail again. ='( But this time, emotions are different. Last time, I'll admit that I didn't prepare properly for it, so I deserved to fail. But this time, it was the best preparation I had for a paper so far, but look at what happened. Luck really does play a role.

Sometimes I really wonder what the hell am I studying for. What is the use of studying, when the results don't match the effort put in? Don't you feel it, when your brain is oversaturated with too many facts, but you still can't answer the Qs? It's just absolutely, undeniably sad. I mean, what is the point of torturing myself with countless hours of studying? Sometimes I feel really super sien of studying. Have almost come to a point that I'm starting to become desensitized to exams...

Anyway, this is another wake up call I guess. Maybe the way I'm studying is not suitable. Might try to change a bit, thks for the suggestions, frenz. =) But this wake up call has given me the much needed oomph to study harder! (have been feeling lots of sien-ness lately) I must do well for GI~! And of coz, after that is the nightmarish EOS3! Prob shld have started preparing by now [shyt!!], really hope that I'll be able to find the motivation to continue on the battle for greatness! Gambate, fellow frenz, together we'll be able to go thru this!

----------------------------------------------------

Okay, finally got that out of my system. Time to blog abt mock OSCE. Hmm, funnily it wasn't as bad as I imagined.

Anyway, for physical examination, peripheral arterial disease and pleural effusion came out. I wasn't really good at the PAD station coz haven't really pratice that. Guess need to relearn that. oh well. Fortunately, I did quite well at the pleural effusion station. The lecturer even praised me! Yayz, all that practice paid off!! ^v^

Well, for history taking, it wasn't that straightforward. Cudn't do a lot of the Qs. sigh. Hvta improve on that... which means learning more. Back to the same old thing abt studying. Aih. (still, learning and studying are two total different things!!) >.<

BS station wasn't that good for me. I got nervous since the BS lecturer is sitting beside, listening. Cudn't concentrate on what the patient is saying, which isn't good. The patient retorted back that she'd had already told me that she has fever with the night sweats when I asked abt whether she had fever. Blek. Well, at least I managed to soothe the "angry" patient down easily, but I think she's more upset then angry. Before this, I'd seen an SP that looked really angry. She was a good actor, didn't even want to shake hands. -_-""

Okay, that's about all. Blogging has always been the best way for me to let up all the pent up emotions inside...

Reminder to self: Search for the fire inside... and keep it burning brightly! Rmb the ideals! Rmb the dreams...!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh ya, one last story b4 I go. Had a weird (bad) dream the night before mock OSCE. I dreamt that I was in the lecture hall with a few ppl. There was a grand piano in front of the hall. Apparently, I was there to sit for the practical piano exam. [wahliao, it has been so long since I sat for piano exam!] I waited impatiently for my turn, I was last, alas.

At that time, batchmates were trickling into the hall for the next lecture. The examiner put pressure on me by saying: "your batchmates are here, so you better do well, okay. Don't embarass yourself."

I gulped, I swear I cud almost feel the sweat dripping off my forehead. like this --> -_-"""""

Anyway, she was supposed to ask me a few Qs before starting. Guess what she asked me?

"What is a malignant lymphoma?" *zha dou* Before I cud answer, she then said: "what is a malignant neoplasm?" I ventured to affirm which Q she was asking, stating that all neoplasms are malignant.

She nodded, a bit like trying to cover up her mistake, while repeating her first Q. [I haven't cover that lecture yet then, but cud answer it due to AIR topic.] She was satisfied with my answer and let me off. Then, it was time to play my piece.

I wasn't really good, so decided to go kinda slow. Well, at least there's the melody, right? lol. (I wonder what song I played in my dream, still can't rmb it...)

Then I woke up, left wondering whether it's a bad omen for mock osce. Coz I've never been a person good at practical exams, always messed up due to nervousness. Luckily, mock osce went okay. So it shows that one shld never generalize things, and that practice makes perfect! *winks*

Alrighty, time to ciao... need some rest! =)

All will be fine one day, as long as we try our best. For the dreams. For the goodness. For the ideals.

The Urge To Be Random

There's this inner urge to blog these days, but somehow I haven't been updating anything really intriguing recently. The urge is probably due to the fact that man is a creature of habit.

If a few days passed without me updating my blog, my fingers will sure twitch and itch. Like now. yesh, I've been updating, but nothing interesting enough for a second read.

Blame it on the exams and studies. It gives me the urge to blog, but drains my inspiration on what to blog abt. My mind is blank, like a white canvas; whenever my hands rest on the keyboard, ready to type out anything, I get "blogger's block". Hmm, sounds funny.

Actually, can you guess that today I've nothing to blog about too? Well, maybe except for the fact that I never really like studying abt parasites/bacteria/virus/fungi. They just don't really interest me, except when they prove they are really smart at evading the human immune system. Now, that is what I call interesting.

trivia: do you know that some parasites (forgot which) are able to shed their outer skin to evade the human immune response that only recognizes the antigens on that original skin? With their new skin, they can swim happily about in your blood circulation while you continue to suffer.

Erm, dunno why I blog abt that. Probably due to desperation to write something, anything. Besides, it's always good to learn some trivia. hehe.

Hmm. I'm out of ideas to talk about. Since I'm not a camwhore, I can't post picture after picture of myself here either to fill up space.

Okay, better not try to length this post out with my crap. I'll sign off here. So many things to do, and so little time! *sigh*

PS: Yerr... Why episode 12 of Heroes cannot be streamed!! Cannot find the torrent for it either... Aih, I wanna know what happens next eh! = suspense =

PPS: Oh ya, I've a theory. I reckon its karma that made me got htin aung for fasci for GI. See, complain so much abt PBL everytime lah, now only know lah. blek. -_-

What I Do Between Notes

I'm so so bored now. I've spent most of the day either "trying valiantly" to study (rbcs, platlets, wbcs and what-nots) or watching movies/anime! I've read all the blogs I usually read. And checked all my usual sites. Oh ya, not to forget, played some o2jam too! Btw, am at level 12 now leh.. hoho.

Can life get any more boring-ier than this? *sigh, looks around and melts into a puddle*

Anyway, been watching Death Note 2 on this website that streams lots of Asian movies and of coz, Heroes! =)

Both are very interesting! And I can't seemed to stop myself from watching. Luckily it takes quite some time for it to stream, so at least there's some time in between to study a bit.

But haemato is kinda confusing. Everything seems to be similar! Oh no... The bone marrow is either hyper-or-hypocellular. Reticulocytosis! Splenomegaly! Target cells! Emperipolesis! -_-"

Erm. Pardon me. Went bonkers just now. Didn't fancy having so many similar conditions thrust down my throat. The more I read, the more I get confused abt which is which. Bleh.

Right, enough of ranting. Again it's back to the notes, and the movies (hehe). Cya!

PS: Emotions have since settled down. It's time I take things into hand. Wish me luck!

PPS: Oh ya, currently on the mend. Shld be in good health in no time! =) Thank god. I tot I was going to cough out my lungs that night. Painful...

PPPS: Btw, I dunno what this post is exactly about. Unless you count me ranting abt how bored I am as smtg worth reading. lol.

Rather Farny

Just tot that some of you guys might need a cheering up like I do. Enjoy the funny icons below!

My fav one is the one with the cigarette. Find it hilarious. hehe.

PS: Life's not as bad as you think it is. Try to cancel the negatives with the positives. yeah. =)

Yesterday Was Not A Good Day

Had blogged half a post last night, but due to a "sudden matter" that was brought to my attention then, the post was left hanging in the air.

And now I'd abandoned it, coz I tot it sounded stupid anyway. Might as well write a brand new post.

Hmm. Had been on hiatus for the last couple of days becoz I'd fallen ill!! Started with a sorethroat on tuesday, which resolved itself with the help of antibiotics, then started having a really bad runny nose on wednesday. (ppl kept asking whether I am okay onot!) Feel abit paiseh that I sneezed so loud so many times during lecture that day! Gomenasai..

That evening, I started feeling feverish and developed a fever after dinner. Can't believe that I slept for more than 12 hours that day! That's really a record. I'm not sure whether the pattern of my fever is intermittent onot. Aikz. And now I've a cough. Why do I always get sick at the wrong times? Due to the "sudden matter" that I mentioned above, I'm now worrying like hell and it definitely isn't good for my sickness. *Arrgh* Just hope that I'll get well soon, coz need to study for next week's OSCE and haemato exam~!! o.O

---------------------------------------------

Well, probably shld blog abt the "sudden matter" but maybe not today. Don't feel like ranting. Anyway, I'm so sick of the unpredictability of human nature. Sometimes, you wonder if you will ever know someone at all, for who they are and what they think.

Right. I might blog abt that in another post if I feel like it. Now it's time for some problem-based solving!! Not emotional-based solving, as taught in BS. yeah.

So, anyone wanting to rent out a room in block B2 (or knows anyone who do) around August, pls contact me ya. Preferably masterbedroom and almost fully furnished. Price is negotiable. Pls help me out! Thanks very much!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh ya, before I end today's super random post, found out yesterday that the fascilitator for our PBL group for GI is... Htin Aung!!! Omg. *faints* Those that do not know the man in the flesh might wonder, but starting from GI (that's GastroIntestinal, for you), our lives are gonna be such a living hell. PBLs which normally shld take around 1 and a half hours wud be longer... and he wud pick ppl to present certain topics... which is worse than individual or discussion method! o.O

Yesterday wasn't such a good day after all. I really need to rest. Bye.

The Simple Mundane Life

Actually, these few days there's nothing special or interesting to blog abt, except the mundane-what-I-did-today-with-who-and-who. Which hardly interests anybody, with myself as the exception, probably.

Is that how a medical student's life supposed to be? Mundane (insert other synonyms of "boring" that you cud think of) and filled with books? Even our conversation and jokes are littered with medical jargon!! :O I reckon it wud be soon before we start dreaming of ourselves studying! *gasp!*

Don't really have the mood to study these few days. Dunno why. Just feel a bit sien. Which is bad, coz haemato exam is next friday, not to mention my mock OSCE is the day before! omg!! Btw, I feel a wee bit more confident after yesterday's practice, coz got to try out the whole physical examination myself. Oh ya, thks to TeckJian and Leong who were willing SPs. =)

I think I shall stop here now. I don't even have the mood to blog. Aikz. Let's hope smtg interesting happens so I've smtg to share tmr. ^v^

PS: Normally, when we do PBL, we will do the important parts like the pathogenesis rather half-heartedly, haphazardly. Hmm. Half-baked is a good description. But yesterday's one was one of the worst I've ever seen. I'll use the word RAW. yeah. Anyway, didn't feel like doing my usual bit of contributing, coz I was down with a bad sorethroat... so pls excuse me. Bleh, whatever.

PPS: Aikz! Dr. Thani told us yesterday that the AIR topic will not be allocated the 3 marks as rumoured for EOS3. Which is good for other ppl who haven't started, but not so good for me coz I've already spent lots of time on it. The only consolation he cud offer was that it cud come out for EOS3. Right... Well, nvm. At least I learnt a lot abt extra-nodal lymphomas along the way. lol.

PPPS: Yesterday was the annual No Dress Code Day. It was really fun, being able to go to uni in sneakers and jeans. How I miss my comfy jeans, lol. Some ppl really went casual.. A lot of guys came in shorts and t-shirts. Oh ya, smtg different this year is that even CSU and library approved this no dress code thingy. So for once in my life, I was able to walk into CSU with jeans and my hair down!! :D

Between Idealism & Realism

- A Young Doctor Wonders...

Been meaning for some time to share this poem with my frenz who are doing medicine, but kept forgetting. Anyway, this is a poem that I found in one of the medical newsletters sent to my dad. It's really intriguing. And cool~! =) Enjoy!

Five years of hard work gone by

A certificate in my hands lay

Written MD - Doctor of Medicine

My future is marked with distinction

Full of ideals, filled with altruism

To serve mankind of all mannerism

Regardless they be old or young

Rich and poor, weak or strong

I start work filled with enthusiasm

I start work with a heart of absolutism

Putting a smile, lending a hand

I shall serve my utmost above band

Alas, the sick I cared for did not get better

They just got worse, downhill rather

The well and healthy came by to chutzpah

A stepping stone to shy from the work path

My mind is boggled, what the dickens!

My heart is disturbed, my conscience stricken

I wanted to be strong and firm

I pray for a guiding hand to reaffirm

The Joneses to keep up with I detest

They are nothing but thorns in the flesh

Relatives wanting MCs and free medication

How to tell them No! No! No! and No!

Write the worst report, the patient said out loud

I need that for a better insurance pay out

Honesty, truthfulness - do they exist at all?

Perhaps they are lonely words after all

Nice, isn't it? The poem I mean. The future predicted in it isn't that nice. Aikz. Thought it was really relevant. Hope you guys like it~! Time to chao... Tataz!

PS: Blood bank visit this morning was super boring! And the lady who gave us that "lecture" was really condenscending. (for eg. she asked us: "Do you know what is DNA?" even when she knew we were med students. It's in the tone.) Bah.