I was looking through my phone the other night and chanced upon this note that I had left sitting in the notes section. Written almost a year ago, perhaps on a reflective night.
"I hope the sacrifices I made to become a doctor is worth it in the end. The people I left behind, the memories that will never be made now. For a better life? What's a better life anyway?"
They say you can't miss things you never had. But I know I'm going to miss those memories that will never be made now.
Another note more than a year ago sounded like this:
"Love makes one silly, love also makes one greedy; why is missing such a painful thing? Who understands my sorrows, lest they have gone through it before? To go back to what once was, I fear it will never be the same again. Were those the best years of my life? I wonder if you will miss those days that had gone by too."
It was just only last year, and I still remember the pain. Don't get me wrong, it's not all gone.
But now, it's more of a wistful remembrance that brings a smile to my lips. I'm done with thoughts of denial, I have come to an acceptance inside me. That this is what that's happening, and all I can do is accept and make the best of things.
There are so many things to hope for in the future, so if I want them to work out, what I should do now is work hard towards those goals and stop wallowing in self-pity.
Besides, I always remind myself: "Hey, it could always have been worse, right?"
You know what? Contentment comes with simple acceptance.