Monday, June 28, 2010

Of What Could Have Been And What Will Be

I was looking through my phone the other night and chanced upon this note that I had left sitting in the notes section. Written almost a year ago, perhaps on a reflective night.

"I hope the sacrifices I made to become a doctor is worth it in the end. The people I left behind, the memories that will never be made now. For a better life? What's a better life anyway?"

They say you can't miss things you never had. But I know I'm going to miss those memories that will never be made now.

Another note more than a year ago sounded like this:

"Love makes one silly, love also makes one greedy; why is missing such a painful thing? Who understands my sorrows, lest they have gone through it before? To go back to what once was, I fear it will never be the same again. Were those the best years of my life? I wonder if you will miss those days that had gone by too."

It was just only last year, and I still remember the pain. Don't get me wrong, it's not all gone.

But now, it's more of a wistful remembrance that brings a smile to my lips. I'm done with thoughts of denial, I have come to an acceptance inside me. That this is what that's happening, and all I can do is accept and make the best of things.

There are so many things to hope for in the future, so if I want them to work out, what I should do now is work hard towards those goals and stop wallowing in self-pity.

Besides, I always remind myself: "Hey, it could always have been worse, right?"

You know what? Contentment comes with simple acceptance.


Titus Tang said...

Contentment comes with simple acceptance. But do we accept something we are not content to be?

Zzzyun said...

sometimes there are some things in life that we can't do anything but accept that this is the way it will be. at least for now.

but hell, i am going to work for it to change in the future!