Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Or will it be a story worth remembering and retold countless times? Filled with memories of the good and bad times, together.
But why would a girl want to be a vampire? Beats me. She was practically begging him to turn her into one. I find that kinda creepy.
Friday, December 04, 2009
Why do I still need to keep reminding myself how lucky I am and that I should appreciate what I have? Instead of being selfish and wanting more.
Perhaps that is just human nature.
We are never content with what we have and keep searching for more.
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Here are the video(s) that is her birthday present this year, as she is far away from us. In a land called Perth.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
So how do you guys like the new header and other stuff I added to the blog?
And this time, I'm proud to say - I did all of this from scratch!! I have been learning how to use the Adobe Illustrator program (a computer graphics vector drawing program) and this is my first masterpiece.
Many thanks to Khee Chun for teaching me the basics and your constructive cricitism as well. You are indeed a sifu difficult to please. haha. Thanks to Kee also for giving comments and encouragement. :)
I really spent many many hours labouring over this. days. Twinkering this and that. But I'm happy with the result. ^v^
As you guys probably noticed, I have changed from a gothic theme to something more cheery and bright. Decided I needed to see something that will brighten up my day the next few years when I load my blogpage. As I'm sure the next few years of medicine will be of a daunting and difficult nature ahead for me. Something to remind me that to keep on hoping and to make medicine your friend, not your enemy. (these last few words sound familiar eh! quoted from a famous lec in imu :P)
Okay, that's all for now. I need constructive critcism please! Will still make modifications if needed :)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Haven't had much things to blog on. Except my musings, maybe? But I'm working on a not-so-secret project. So get ready when I unveil it here... soon!!
On another topic, I might hvta abandon the Bangkok trip coz it seems a bit hard to organize with it being so last minute and all. But I'll go there someday! I promise myself. Maybe when I'm earning my own moolah. Then can spend without any (excessive) guilt! haha.
So am now currently aiming a bit lower. Shall go local again. Now it all depends on the availability of my friends. They seemed quite busy ppl indeed haha. The trip currently is to Malacca plus/minus Johor. It's time for me to satisfy tastebuds for Malaccan food! I've heard of the chicken riceballs, satay celup, cendol~ Yum!
Okay, I really am rambling here. Shall update more when I have something more concrete. For now, I bade thee farewell!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
I have glorious news! And that is.... I PASSED 4TH YEAR!! omgwtfbbq!
To tell you the truth, that wasn't my reaction when I groggily got up yesterday morning, turned the computer on and logged into the website to check my results.
Not because that the results were bad or anything (I think they were average? I dunno anymore) but because I being Asian, am more used to straightforward things. And would have very much preferred to receive an email or message stating the obvious. Which is that I've safely passed, thank you.
And not just lists of units and their respective marks. Marks are of coz welcomed (Asian thing remember?) but without that declatorary message? It gives me doubts. But okay, I won't complain. :P
Just so glad that I passed. So I get to embrace my holidays fully!! Yay~ Definitely need to recharge for an even more stressful 5th year.
I must point out something I just realised though. This is what sending your kid to a western country does to them. Suddenly instead of everything being chinese, malay or indian, now it's between angmohs and asians. Behaviours are either Asian or not. hah. I wished it was that easy.
Oh and a (lame?) joke I made sometime back. Why is Australia a Western country? It is so obviously in the East. :P Okay okay fine don't shoot me. Thought it was worth wondering about.
I am getting sidetracked, aren't I?
I think what I wanted to say before I digressed was that I'm just glad that my hard work this year paid off (haha okay some of it was last minute). But! I did spend an appropriate amount of time in hospital. This time around, I really struggled to do my best.
Okla, shall stop rambling now. To those who are still having exams or waiting for results, ALL THE BEST! Good luck and I can't wait to see you guys soon. :)
PS: If you were wondering about the title of this post, it is refering to the amount of years I have already done and how much left till I get that sparkling MBBS. And do I feel competent enough? Hardly. Part of the job description of being a medical student. oh well.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
My sister passed me this book this afternoon and when I saw it, I remembered. This was the book I wrote my deepest secret thoughts in when I was still an immature young high school girl.
I was intrigued and started reading.
It was like a walk into the past, a past I had long buried deep in the recesses of my head. 8 years ago. A form 2 high school girl, naive - thinking the world was her oyster as long as she worked hard.
It might still be my oyster now, but I realised that to survive in this dog-eat-dog world out there, it's not easy at all. And one needs more than pure hard work.
In those lines of neatly written words - laid secrets of archenemies, foolish ideas, unalduterated gossip, childlish thoughts and hope. The naivety was refreshing yet frightening. How could I have thought of such things last time?
I was rash, impatient, impulsive and full of myself, even. How strange that a few years could change how I thought of myself. Maybe this is called growing up?
Reading the book brought back many memories and feelings. Friendships that were formed. Then sadly broken. I wonder how are they now?
It was definitely interesting reading a part of me left in the past. Probably I will feel the same way 8 years from now, reading back my old blog entries. Always an immature girl in the eyes of the future me. haha.
Anyhow, hope I will continue to grow. To be a better person in a better future. :)
Monday, November 09, 2009
Oops, I'm back again. Have been pretty busy the previous few days. But I'm currently back home in Penang ade! yay~
I know I should be blogging more frequently now it's the holidays but heck, I don't have much to share except that Home = Bliss! :)
Results will be out on friday morning and I hope the unstable internet don't die on me then. Or I will absolutely die of palpitations! Of coz, I wanna pass also!!!
But that's not the main thing on my mind now. Guess what? Shopping! Haha sorry sometimes gotta do a bit of the girly stuff, right? I just read this blog post about shopping in Bangkok and the stuff is so freaking cheap that I'm just dying to go there now!! I need more new clothes. I realised I have so few clothes compared to some people :P
I need more of those cocktail dresses. That girls wear to semi-formal functions. I only bought my very 1st one last week with my ji-muis. Definitely need them to come and give me pro opinion haha.
Okla, I'm just rambling here.. Dreaming abt my potential holiday in Bangkok? Dunno if my parents will give the A-OK or not woh.
Shall keep on dreaming on for now... hehe. Need promotions for airfares please!
Monday, November 02, 2009
Greetings from the land of humidity! Yes you are right! I've landed back home in Malaysia! Guess where am I blogging from now?
Mackers (that's what they called McD in aussie :P) in LCCT. Apparently they have 2 hours of free internet. But it's omg so freaking slow. I really have gotten used to the super fast internet in aussie. oh noes!
I'm so sleepy now lar. Waiting for the bf to finish classes so that he can come and pick me up. But dunno when leh. And I can't really snooze here also (coz this is malaysia) and I'm afraid I'll wake up to find all my belongings gone. Oops, that really says a lot on the local mentality aye?
I'll write more about exams later. Now, I'm just glad everything is OVER!
*ominous tone: for now!*
It has been sucha nervewracking month for all of us. We really felt the heat, man! And somehow the aussies are still so laidback, really geng! I really need to recharge myself these holidays and get ready for another even more stressful year ahead.
Okay, my thoughts are a bit flustered now coz I'm too sleepy. Didn't get much shut-eye in the plane despite being so tired... It was just too cramped. I wonder why I didn't think that last time I went to perth. Might have been more rested/excited then I guess.
Should stop rambling here... oh wait!! Something weird (?) happened just now. This angmoh lady came up to me in McD and wanted to use my comp to send an email or msn message to a friend. Before I went to perth I would have freaked out (you can't be overly paranoid in this country okay!! sorry lah! better to be safe than sorry k!) but somehow I knew she was in trouble and needed help.
And apparently she missed her flight due to delays during transit. That really sucks, doesn't it? And she won't get any refund either. So she needed to borrow computer to tell her friend that she won't be arriving anytime soon in paris. oh well, really bad luck!
Anyway, just glad that I managed to help someone really in need of help. :D My good deed for the day!
Okay lar, should really stop crapping now. Eyes closing... Must not close eyes. must not.
See ya guys soon! Holidays have already BEGUN!! Yay! ^v^
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Okay! I'm back again! I swear, the phrase "I'm back again" will start to be a prominent starter to every blogpost of mine soon.
What to do. Medical student ma. A lot of other priorities in life kan. For example, MY FINALS!!
Anyway, of all the 5 exams, by now - 4 down and 1 more to go on friday morning, which is osce! I went to take a pretty long nap by recent standards and felt much better. My brain felt it was gonna burst from oversaturation the past few days. @.@ I could feel all these random bits of info come float into my brain while I was trying to not think at night before sleeping! ahhh!
Well, not going to talk abt how I did in those exams just yet, maybe after everything is over. But suffice to say - not easy. :/
You know how when you read your notes and you try to guess what questions they will ask? Still haven't quite grasp what the exam coordinators want here. Either exam questions are weird or come out with really miniscule insignificant info that you don't even bother to read/remember. but whatever.
Just hoping for a pass... PLEASE!! I don't need to redo fourth year, thank you very much.
Okay, enough of ranting for now. Probably gonna cook myself a good dinner as a reward. haha. I'll definitely update more after my last exam on friday! Wish me luck!
And before I go, did I mention that I CAN'T WAIT TO GO BACK MALAYSIA?? omg omg!!
Friday, October 23, 2009
I really should be studying now... But I just wanna document here that I'm officially freaking out now coz we went through some of the past years today. And I really cannot remember what I just painstakingly studied the last few days!!!
sigh I just wanna pass okay.. Need more luck.
Anyway, just to cheer up whoever who's reading this and feels down like me as well. Or just need something funny to make them even happier.
Watch this video. Hilarious.
funny thing is... parts of it is true? haha.
Monday, October 19, 2009
This was one of the cool changing art pieces at the Tiger Translate Global Showcase Copenhagen that I need to share with you guys. (saw it at kennysia's blog)
Coz I'm so blown away at the creativity and amazingness of it all!
it might be weird at some parts,
but hey, art, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Enjoy!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Study Break... Break from studying? I wish!
Anyway, taking a break from studying, (waaaait a minute, how many breaks have I taken? oh noes!) I just wanna wish my dear dear a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Hope you will have a great one with your friends and family. I'll celebrate with you once I come back okie! muax hehe.
Take care dear. Love you lots. <3
Can't wait to see you again!
Friday, October 09, 2009
Supposed to be mugging now... but I just can't concentrate! Still haven't gotten into the vroom vroom mood haha.
Anyway, today is a friday but it feels like a saturday for me. Hvta keep reminding myself. Why? Coz I self-declared it as a holiday from hospital today haha! Why not, since I've already handed in everything yesterday. I totally deserved a break!
Did I mention that most of the 6th year imu seniors are going to leave perth next year to other places in australia for their internship? That's coz perth didnt have enough internship places for everybody. :/ They really need to do some serious planning and not leave international students struggle for something as basic as internship places. Coz without that, you are technically not even a doctor!!
I'm definitely going to miss them. :( It's nice to have people to hang out with who knows where you come from and understand your -lahs and -mahs without you having to struggle for words to explain their elusive meaning. It was also nice to talk about memories in imu with them... Heck, it's even nice to have a bunch of people to hang out occasionally.
(sorry lar, nowadays, I'll take whatever kindness that ppl offer me. beggars can't be choosers you know)
Anyway, they are having a farewell bbq/meal for them on sunday. sigh. there goes the already few ppl that I'm good friends with here.
Well, still I wish them all the best in everything. :)
And you know what? Mugging is never fun. But it's even less fun when you gotta do it alone. :(
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Hi guys! Back again.. Finally finally finished my last case report, which was supposed to be about Indigenous people in Australia. I learnt some new things from there which I didn't know about but I must say, it was a really tough report to complete! =/
Hopefully I'll be able to pass all the 3 reports so I don't need to redo or anything! *cross fingers and toes*
And I guess my general medicine rotation is kinda over already. Handed in my logbook as well. pfooh.
And do you know what that means??
MAJOR EXAMS IN TWO WEEKS!!
I'm so not prepared at all! I really need to buck up these 2 weeks already. I just want to pass so I can enjoy my holidays back home! I wanna see my family and frenz again...
Don't worry, I think you will still see posts from me. Coz I reckon I blog more when I'm stressed anyway.. haha.
Okla to end with a humourous note on this post, check out the video below. Funny indeed!!
The evolution of Posing
PS: I just had my H1N1 vaccine today. yeah it was provided free by the hospital :P Ironic though, having it now, just after I finished 8 weeks in the RESPIRATORY ward! I'm pretty sure I had immunity towards it before this.. lol.
Sunday, October 04, 2009
Saturday, October 03, 2009
Hi guys. I'm sure you guys must be rubbing your eyes in disbelief that I'm updating my blog now! I'm sorry, I've been so ridiculously busy the past few days, that you wouldn't be able to imagine!
Almost 3 weeks of absence.. Do you all miss me? pls say you do? *big big eyes*
Anyway, dear dear just left today. And I'm left all alone again. sigh.
Don't really feel like blogging now, so I shall continue more on next time. Just thought will pop in to let you guys know that I'm back.
So, see ya all later, peeps. ta.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
I suddenly had a realisation today while I was sitting in the bus home.
The missing no longer causes me grief. It is still there, no doubt. But slowly, gradually, it has gone down to a quiet murmur, and arises gently only when one has an idle moment and the mind is triggered by visual/auditory stimuli. (which I must admit, is not common as I'm so tired out these few days with work!)
I still remember the days when I've just arrived in this strange foreign land. And I could almost say I was in denial. When a lot of things didn't turn out as I had imagined. When obstacle after obstacle came.
There was anger, frustration. The intense longing for familiarity. My loss of sense of belonging. The tears that came in the quiet of the night and there was nobody to comfort me at all. The only one I had was myself.
Now, it would seemed that I've come to a quiet inner acceptance of my state.
I still remember fondly the memories of the days long gone by. But now, reminizing about them just makes them seemed like grey blurry pictures that happened in another lifetime. It was almost difficult to make myself believe that I had led an altogether different life, once. My common sense tells me I did of course, but the starking difference just makes it seems so impossible.
Looking back at those memories, I can't help but ask myself: "Was that me? The girl with the sparkling eyes that loves a joke and laughed so much?"
And who have I become now? Have I changed? I wonder.
But whether for good or for bad, I have adapted, changed to survive. I tell myself that I hvta continue to be strong, cause life is only going to get harder from here on.
But hey, who knows how will things go from here. Life is always a journey full of surprises. :)
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Things have been going in full swing here and I know I have said this before but I'm soooo busyyy!!!
Anyway, so the gen med part of things have kinda settled to a busy routine which is good coz I prefer routines. I still need to practice my physical examinations but what I sorely lack is clinical correlation! What do you do if the findings you find does not match up with your provisional diagnosis? Or what if you dunno whether what you are finding is a sign or not. Or just some problem with your technique? =/
(sometimes I wonder if there is something wrong with my stethoscope/ears or is that just reduced breath sounds/heart sounds??)
Oh well. I guess all that comes with experience.
Haha actually I don't really know what to blog about coz I'm boring like that.. :P but anyway due to energy/time constraints, I've haven't been able to bring dear dear about much. >.<
Hopefully will be able to breathe a sigh of relief once my research and clinical exam are over. yeah guess what, both of them are on my lucky day (my birthday! aihs) -_- Well hope that I'll be lucky in whatever I do that day then.. :)
I'm gonna end this post now coz I dunno what to update for now. Probably shld be studying or writing case reports or whatever. Ta for now!
PS: Recieved a very nice phone call from two old friends last nite :) haha I shall call you guys back again sometime soon. do take care!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Tada!! I'm back again.. yes I know know, it has been TWO whole weeks since my last post.. First of all, my excuses are that I didnt get my internet till last saturday AND I just started my general medicine posting and is super busy!!
A lot of days when I come home I'm so tired that I just wanna sleep but then the stomach begs for attention then I'll hvta cook. T_T And after that, I'm surely beat. And I will still hvta force myself to prepare whatever that's need to be done for the next day.
So many things to tell that I do not know where to begin.
First of all, I've settled in quite nicely into my new house! yay. Pics will not be up so soon I'm afraid. (busy remember? you're lucky to get this post haha) A lot of mishaps happened while moving which cost a lot of moolah [which opposes the reason of us moving which is to save money] but anyhow that is a one off thing. Long story short, we are lucky to get this place and hopefully will be able to stay for the long term. *cross fingers*
Secondly, general medicine is interesting but super busy. I find myself short of knowledge on countless occasions. Need to buck up! But somehow, this feels like how it's supposed to be. Well, I'm placed on the respiratory team and in the beginning, I was apprehensive of being able to learn other sort of cases but it has been sorted out this week. Which is good. We now have at least 1 signs round, 1 case presentation every week. Then there are twice per week ward rounds. And lots of other tutes, clinics. The only problem would be trying to find patients to clerk and perform physicals on.
Coz apparently we hvta ask students from the other team that the pt is on if we could that, so that they can have a go first (as some pts might tire, which is perfectly reasonable). And some of the pts are so sweet to accomodate us all :)
Anyway, being on the respi team means there is a lot of swine flu going on!!! Even though we don masks, gowns and gloves when we approach pts with possible/confirmed swine flu, I wonder how good these precautions are? I have a feeling I might have even gotten swine flu without knowing? lol. Oh well, even if not yet at the moment, probably a matter of time. >.<
So far, in my quest for pts, I have heard murmurs, crackles, felt one hepatosplenomegaly (which I found on my own ^^). So that's pretty good for 1.5 weeks' worth of work eh. Don't forget the 3 case reports we hvta hand up. Which are supposedly to be freaking long. More than 10 pages. :/ I better start cracking on my 1st one.
Besides that, my research deadline is slowly approaching as well. Need to buck up on that as well. As you can see, I have a lot on my plate at the moment. @.@ And don't forget the end of year exams that are creeping up on us! I dunno how am I going to manage with so many things going on. >.<
Last but definitely not least! I'm up so early on a saturday morning coz I can't seemed to sleep.. Maybe it's because I'm excited that my dear dear is arriving today!! Only 5 more hours plus... yay... *palpitations* lol.
I wonder what will happen after almost 8 months of absence.
It's certainly something to look forward to after a tiring day of stressing my brain out in the hospital. haha.
Okla, I think this should suffice as a good update! A few more months and I will be able to come home! :)
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Will be moving house in a few hours' time. So won't have internet for 1-2 weeks. =(
Gen med starting next week. So many things happening. I just want to have a comfort zone. Hope I will be able to set it up soon!
Might try to blog using the uni's computers if I'm free enough. Okla, need to get some rest. Cya!
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Didn't do much this weekend except laze around (hey I need a break!) and start a bit on my literature review for research.
I found a few random photos I took with my phone. Btw did I mention that I got an iphone? ^^ More than 3 months ade hehe. It's really worth it using the cap plans here. And it helps that it has GPS as I don't really know my way around here much.
Okay enjoy the random photos k.outside the main teaching hospital, Charlies
this was around 5pm i think but now it gets darker at 5pmwriting down notes during surgery rotation
was bored so took a photo haha
yummy steak at hog'sbreath
perth city train station - where all the train lines meet
some indonesian rice - forgot name d coz super long ago
one of the parks I jog through
Sorry if the photos are not that interesting. I think I have some funny ones in my camera but I collect a few more first k ^^
Saturday, August 08, 2009
The other day, we rushed to the real estate agency to submit a house application straight away after we saw a hse. And since it was quite near to a beach, Joshua suggested we go hang out at the beach nearby.
It was not a well known beach so it was practically empty. But hey, it's winter afterall, and ppl rarely go beaches during winter, right?
And guess what, we were just in time for sunset! I'll let the pictures do the talking :)
Friday, August 07, 2009
Finally, I'm able to breathe a sigh of relief. How nice is it to be not under stress.
The stress of finding a house and getting ready for psych exam really got to me. The former more so. It got really complicated, but anyway long story short - I'm glad to announce, we had finally gotten a house!! Yay! Would like to sign the lease earlier so that I can be at ease (supposed to be today but agent was ill so had to reschedule to monday). But all should be well.
The new house is almost perfect - in terms of location, convenience, degree of niceness, price, and space of bedrooms. Admittedly, I would like a larger sized bedroom but it will do. Beggars can't be choosers eh.
Of coz, it's not as spacious or as nice as the current one, but hey at 3/4 the price, it's really a good price. Sucha pity that I never got around to posting pics of my current house as it's really nice. Oh well, I'm going to miss it too. =( Will probably be moving around end of next week. Lots of logistical stuff to handle coming up.
But it would be good to able to save quite a sizeable amount of money every month. Then I wouldn't need to feel so guilty for using my parents' money. Maybe more money for other stuff as well? :P haha but actually I really don't use much for weekly expenditure. Cooking really is cheap here.
Anyway, those who are moving in with me will be Debbi and Joshua. yeah new person haha.. I hope there will be lots of fun times coming up! (but must remind myself to not be too hopeful ya)
House stuff aside, I was quite nervous abt the psych exam yesterday.
Because there were just too many unpredictable factors.
What if my patient walked out on me? What if s/he is not a good historian? What if I miss out smtg important? What if I get nervous and just freeze in front of the examiners? What if I can't answer the Qs the examiners ask me? So many what if-s...
But my fears all come to a naught. Of coz it wasn't like I became outstanding overnight but in my own eyes and expectations, I did pretty okay. To others, it might be nothing but it means a lot to me that I'm able to present a history coherently in exam conditions and answer most of the Qs sensibly. Cause I realised since I came here (with the angmohs being relatively excellent communicators or presenters or whatever) I didn't feel I was up to par and lost confidence in speaking publicly.
But now with this behind me, I must tell myself that I can do it, as long as I believe in myself. :)
I haven't been in sucha good mood for a long long time. *contented sigh*
Sunday, August 02, 2009
Many apologies for the late update as I'm aware that in my last post I said that there will be a post coming soon, but here I am, updating after more than a week has passed. oops.
A lot of things have been happening so that's my excuse :P
Anyway, to give u a gist of what's going on without being circumstantial about it.
All those lamenting in my last few posts was about this problem. The lease for our current house expires in 2 weeks' time and we are still searching for houses. major uh-oh. This house-hunting has been taking up alot of my time/energy. Oh and caused me alot of anxiety as well. I was gonna diagnose myself with an anxiety disorder soon! Yeah I still dislike change, but coping with it better now.
I really hope that this will be able to be settled in the next few days. *please please I can't take it anymore*
I hope that my next post will bring good news! *cross fingers and toes*
My observed interview was last wednesday. Went okay but seriously could have done much better if I wasn't so nervous (bah) and didn't get thrown off by the presenting complaint. (I never heard of a moving-on order before ma!)
And I managed to present a case in front of a number of ppl on friday and I didn't sound as stupid as usual. yays!! *do victory dance* Hope I will continue to improve on my public speaking/crapping skills! lol.
But then we had a quiz after that and I practically bombed most of the Qs thrown at me. =( sorry, all these other stuff going on and the fact that I'm quite unmotivated for psych does not help.
And yeap, my major psych exam is this coming thursday. Need to clerk a patient (lucky this one is not observed) and then present in front of two examiners. Then will get asked alot of questions. Hope I will be able to do fine!! I just wanna pass.
Okay I hope this update is up to your expectations coz I'm supposed to be studying now. I need a break after this, which is good that campus week is coming up. phooof.
That's all for now. ta!
PS: Debbi's birthday was last tuesday and we managed to pull off a surprise potluck for her! I will update more abt that in a separate post k. Pics not with me also.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Heh I know I should probably be mugging up some psych diagnostic criteria now or something but hey, it's friday. I deserve a break, don't I? Maybe not.
I think my psych knowledge is not up to par... Haven't been mugging as I should, there were some things that I'm still not very sure about. And I still miss out things when taking history from the patient. My problem is that I often wait for the pt to finish talking abt whatever they were rambling on about and when I wanted to go back and ask abt some interesting point they mentioned just now, my short term memory wouldn't allow me to remember what it was. =/
Well my observed interview is up next week and the main exam, case presentation the week after. So I still got a few more days to polish up on the knowledge. Yes, I will work on it!! Just don't feel so motivated to read about psych somehow... The lines are so blurred btw each diagnosis and can easily cross over to the other.
And sometimes the pt just don't fall into any of the boxes.. Where to put leh? Think out of the box meh? lol.
Feel like taking a nap now but then my clothes smell of bacon coz somebody just cooked bacon in the house and I don't really want to get those grubby smells onto my nice clean bed... which is beckoning to me haha.
hehe yeah I think I have some cluster C traits. but everybody have personality traits anyway and I reckoned of all the clusters, C would probably be the nearest to normal eh? lol.
Okay, that's all for now. Shall read a bit before cooking something up for dinner. (sry bed, duwan to get u dirty k!) That reminds me, I still have a lot of photos in my phone/camera!! Aiyo not very diligent in uploading them eh, paiseh!
I shall write more soon. I reckon there's something brewing in the grey matter up there.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Am coping better with change. But still no solution in sight for the current problem. aihs.
It really is hard being a student here with no earning power. boo.
I realised running and cooking takes my mind off things. Stepping into nature makes me feel that all my worries are miniscule and that the whole wide world is so beautiful that I should look at the big picture.
It's all about perspective. Indeed, it is.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Despite all the crazy stuff that is going on in my life, I must remind myself - that I'm a lucky girl. To have so many friends and family who care about me. Although there are thousands of miles between us.
I must be more easily contented, instead of always chasing the ghosts of the past.
My friends all believe in me... so I must try to believe in myself too. That I'm stronger than this.
Thank you for being there for me, when I needed you all. :)
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
The scenery outside was going forwards.
The trees slided forward gracefully, of all different shapes and sizes. The sky was a pretty blue for once. The sun was out shining. And sprinkled in between were quaint houses lined with weird sounding streets.
The kids in front were jumping up and down from the seats, occasionally being reprimanded by their mums for being too noisy.
I was listening to serene melodies on my phone. That stir up emotions inside.
I was moving backwards. Seated on the seat with my back facing the direction of the train was heading. I felt like I was moving back in time.
I closed my eyes to rest. It was warm inside the train.
It should be a perfect scene in life. Almost like a picture-perfect moment.
But not quite. There is something missing. What is this feeling inside me that I can't explain?
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Feeling like I'm in my own little bubble, separated from the outside world.
This must be what it feels like to have what they call "social isolation".
Might be having "anhedonia" too... Or izzit that I just lack the things that normally bring me pleasure?
Oh no.. what is psych doing to me! @.@
Haha sorry just being a bit crazy there. After doing a surgery rotation, psych just ranks okay on the like scale.
It's not tat I dislike it, but I don't exactly love it, that's for sure.
It's always interesting to see when the patient do bizzare or funny things, but other than that, it's just okay.
And I can't believe that I used to consider psychiatrist as a possible career option. Hmm...
I find it difficult to take history from psych patients. Either you can't interrupt them coz they are having pressured speech, or they just are tangential (jumping from a topic to next) or they just don't want to talk to you. Not really easy to understand them also. And yes, a lot of them are at the least very circumstantial (ie long winded).
Oh well, tmr will be week 5 so another 4 more weeks to go. Must learn to talk more fluently in front of others!! Have an observed interview and a case presentation exam coming up soon! haha and I don't feel like studying much for it at all. bleh.
Then there will be campus week, which will be quite free for me as I went to the lecs already last time. So can have a break I guess. Then up last will be my last and toughest rotation for this year, General Medicine!!
Then study break then major exams of the year! Then holidays and home!! ^^
It will be another 7 weeks before Dear comes over to visit and do his elective. Seriously can't wait!!!
Can time pass a bit faster? It feels like ages when I'm doing psych. A stark contrast to surgery, when 8 weeks just felt like it flew by.
Btw did I tell you I hate change? I see a pattern forming in me. It's not really healthy. I really need to cope better.
Time to grow up. Although I don't really want to.
Friday, July 10, 2009
A lot of things have been happening.. I'm feeling stressed out and worried.
So many things to consider. Life is so unpredictable, isn't it? One moment, it can all be fine and dandy and the next moment, bam, and everything comes crashing down.
It's not easy. I really wish I can fastfoward till the time I graduate and start working. Not that I desperately want to work, but that at least I will have the means to make my own decisions.
Things could go wrong. Very wrong.
And I haven't been able to study much the past few days too. I should probably start bucking up on my psych stuff soon. Exams in a few weeks' time!
Yalah, I'm a worrier lar. so what? Bite me.
Sunday, July 05, 2009
I realise that I have gotta live with my mistakes.
But... isn't it such a heavy price to pay for something that I've decided on a whim?
Well, let this be a lesson to myself. To think through things, especially important decisions throughly in the future - weighing all the pros and cons.
Now? I just gotta work with what I have now. I know I can do it. I can survive.
And wait patiently for the day that I can make a new decision. To live life the way I want it to be.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
I would hereby like to congratulate all my friends who did well in their BMedSci program!
Especially my two ji muis, Funnie & Yannie who got 1st class honours! I'm so proud of you all! Your hard work paid off!! :D
I will be waiting for you guys to come and experience aussie life next year!! So we can talk abt it and laugh abt it together haha..
I'm really thrilled for them... but somehow all this got me thinking again: "What if...?"
What if I hadn't be so stubborn and had instead chosen to go into the BMedSci with them?
Would life have been different? A loud resounding definte YES!
Why? Sometimes, I really wonder why have I been so rash to decide against that. Now thinking rationally, there would have been so many pros to go with that decision.
I would have been able to be with my 2 ji muis for at least 3 yrs! Would have been so fun to experience life in clinicals and aussie together! To share laughter and tears together. I really miss that.
I would have been able to help my parents save more money by reducing this year's tuition fees. (Btw exchange rate go up d T_T)
I would have been able to at least see my bf more often this year too. Reducing the ldr to a not so painful experience...
And... I would have an extra degree to boot! Which definitely would be very helpful in our future career I'm sure.
And what did I throw all this away for?
Just because I think I didn't like research... And we hvta do it anyway this year, it's compulsory for 4th years here. (of coz it's not as intensive as theirs, but yeah..)
And that I get an extra year of clinicals, so as to improve my clinical acumen. Well that's true, but I think I'd have been more motivated and study harder if I was with my ji muis.
Why? I keep asking myself now why was I so rash to make such a decision?
I really have no answer myself now.
I know, I know. I have no choice now. I'm already here. It's already been 6 months plus. I can't change anything now. All I can do is put the "what if's" behind me and look forward to the future...
Whether if there is anything to look forward to though, remains a doubt.
PS: Sorry ya guys, a congratulatory post become an angst-filled post pulak. But I'm still very proud and happy for you guys k! Love u all! xoxo
Monday, June 29, 2009
And here comes another post abt my new found love of cooking! ^v^ I've included some macroshots as well, coz omg, food never looked this good with it!
Be warned to not read this post on an empty stomach! :P
Let's roll, shall we?
First up is stir fried bean sprouts.
told you macroshots make things look better!
Next up is a creamy pasta.I used the three cheeses sauce from the bottle lah.. yum yum.
another proof that carrots go well with this as well!
I'm going to get hypercarotenemia eh? lol.
Thirdly, malaysian style curry chicken!!
that's right, I just used the packets available - really simple
I will try the other flavours next time!
And next up is something that I decided to try coz I had a tofu craving... yeah I know, been having cravings for food that reminds me of home aikz.
And eating out here in Perth is so expensive that it's ridiculous! And sometimes the asian food is weird as well. Been angmoh-nized lol.Tofu with mushrooms!
absolutely yummylicious! Recipe can be found here for ppl who are interested.
And miss eating all the different dishes of tofu back home *salivates* haha
And last but not least!! One of my star dishes currently is...
Sweet and Sour chicken! Yup that's right!
I had a craving the other day and voila, whipped up this according to this recipe (I substituted pork with chicken tho)
And lemme tell you, it tastes exactly like back home! Now I know how they make it back home nyehehe..Aren't the play of colours just pretty? :D
I'm sure there will be more new dishes to comes when I've more energy and am bored of eating the same old thing again. I'm adventurous like that, can't keep doing the same thing everyday :P
Monday, June 22, 2009
I'm back! Did you guys miss me? Probably not! What with my dwindling readership...
What! My life not interesting enough for you now lah har?
haha okok kidding lar. I know all my friends are all very busy busy lo. Gambate to everyone in seremban who are gonna have their major exams soon!!
Speaking of exams, I just finished mine last thursday. Verdict? Different and difficult. They asked abt genes, percentages/statistics and weird obscure stuff. =(
Pathology was quite hard and I don't like how they just splatter out lab results without clinical history at all and expect you to diagnose what's wrong. o.O And other questions they just churn out minor details from the notes (which I forgot the details btw!) which have no relation whatsoever to the stem info and expect you to choose which is right or wrong! A doctor I used to know would say: "No clinical correlation!!" lol.
The silliest bit was the part where they just gave us 10 image based Qs and just expect us to diagnose what is it just like tat. yes macroscopic pics. Which basically means memorizing from the images available, coz tell me lah, how can you diagnose what sort of cancer is it without biopsy or what? -_-
Pharmacology wasn't easy either. So many drug-drug interactions to memorize but then they must put in some which are not in the notes. How to rmb lah, so many interactions in the whole wide world!! aiya zhong ji difficult lar, duwan talk abt it d! (actually is my memory slowly fading abt that lol)
Last one was Infectious Diseases. [yaloh, all my unfavourite topics, man - thanks a bunch] This wasn't so bad. At least I knew where I was going with some of the Qs. And I could answer some antibiotics Qs!! *light shines on me lol* but still hvta guess for some. But can safely say my knowledge abt antibiotics have improved immensely compared to last time. Now just hope that knowledge won't leak out coz I'm gonna need it again end of this year. and yeah maybe rest of my life =/
Anyway, so that's it about the exam. Just want a clear pass for all three! That's all! (wow my expectations certainly have lowered)
We didn't do anything really crazy this time post exam - I think we all old ade lar, just wanted to relax after exam lol. Was so nice to take a break and have a weekend where I didn't need to think or worry abt anything!
We had some great italian food on friday night but I'll post up the pics later coz we exceeded our peak internet quota this month so gotta wait till tonite midnight and the speed will be renewed again! oops.
And yeap, I'm in psych now and I think I shall leave it till there are a bundle of interesting things to write about in my next post.
Tata for now! Gotta read up about mood disorders for pbl tomorrow!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Exam tomorrow afternoon. Wish me luck!
First time finished studying 1st round the day before. *gape in amazement* But probably because I sailed thru certain parts coz I got annoyed with some of the meticulous details we were supposed to remember?
Anyway, I've forgotten a lot of the stuff I have studied T_T so yeah, I better have a quick run through again. And maybe try to memorise those stoopid details last minute. >.<
Ok lah, update more after the exam! Can't wait! I hope it goes well. A bit nervous coz dunno how their exams here are like. =/ Tata for now!
PS: Good luck to the sban peeps having exams this week as well!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
I've been wanting to write this post for a long long time. But somehow, I find it hard to put into words the feelings I want to convey.
And the importune time when those feelings usually arrive make it harder to revisit them when I'm ready to string them into sentences.
Anyway, suffice to know, the memories, the feelings in this post has been sliding in and out of my mind; sometimes eerily taking shape, sometimes in formless substance.
They come at times when the mind is idle. The phrase "the idle mind is the devil's workshop" is no hearsay.
They come when I'm taking the public transport, with nothing to distract my mind with except observing the behaviour of my fellow passengers - which I must report, I have no real interest in - hence how my mind wanders back to the past.
They come at those moments just before the mind shuts down for sleep. Everything is quiet and still. You can hear your own breathing, feel your heart pumping inside your chest. And so your mind strays to the memories of the days long gone.
Till now, I can't believe, it has hardly been a year since we said our goodbyes to each other in that dear ol' place called IMU.
It seems like a lifetime ago.
It wasn't exactly a spectacular place, with the unfortunate connotation as used to being a site of a failed supermarket. Oh but the life we breathed into that place!
Memories come aflashing by.
Do you remember how we pulled off that famous hokkien rendition and almost brought the house down? And a particular lecturer was in raptures. :P
Do you remember all the trips we have together been to? Penang, Langkawi and Redang. The latter was the best of all. The snorkelling, the volleyball and most of all, the people. :)
Do you remember the weekends when we hung out together? Whether it was some high class resturant, or some dingy kopitiam, the best part of it was that we could laugh and enjoy our food together. It was especially the highlight of my day then when the rest of the time all we could do was mug.
Do you remember the library? Cold and chilly as it was, it was one of the places that warmed my heart dearly when we were all forcing ourselves to sit down and study all day. Coz we could always just turn around, and kacau the friend sitting next to us reading his/her notes intently.
Do you remember the numerous surprise birthdays celebrations we pulled off for each other? It was always a cause for celebration. There was the time we had the one by the poolside in vista B. And by the end, almost everyone already had a turn in the pool :P
Do you remember how we were frantically trying to catch up with the superspeed mind and mouth of certain lecturers? Trying to write down as much as we can, then when there is some time, to steal it and ask the one beside you: "Hey did you get what he say about this part ah?"
Do you remember how we managed to pull of cooking that massive amount of spaghetti for some event that I can't even remember the name now? We swore we wouldn't be able to look at spaghetti for weeks! haha.
Do you remember the countless times we sat down at the mamak and the other person could tell what the other wanted to order from the boss. "Maggi goreng tambah telur, dua, abang!" And let's not even go into the content we talked about while we were in the mamak. Suffice to know, it covered everything from medical to downright personal. :P
Do you remember the songs we sang together at one of our favourite places, Greenbox, where there is food and freeflow drinks? We could even tell who was the one tat had chosen the song that was coming up next on the screen.
Do you remember the dinners we suffered thru together? Anticipating good food today from the caterers and complaining together when it was lousy? While some people crowded together in front of the tv to catch the chinese drama that was ongoing, some hung out and started arguing about certain aspects of diseases/drugs or whatnots.
I could go on and on.. while scenes from the past slowly flashed past...
but I really can't believe all this happened just a few years ago.
Cause to me now, it seems like a lifetime away. Out of reach and almost impossible to touch. Like mist. Something that you can see but you can never touch.
It will never be the same again.
All we have will be just memories to last us a lifetime.
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
I have found another excuse (albeit a noble one, I must say) to blog. *procastinate*
Jokes aside, it is this. Digi is going to donate 5 dollars each if you go to this site Digi - Love To Save, choose a cause (be it Medical, Nature or Social) and enter your email to register.
And voila, with such simple a task, you would have donated 5 dollars to a worthy cause! And you can't even say no money coz it's not even your money! :P
Hope you will take just 5 mins (maybe even less, if you are agile enough :P) of your time to help a worthy cause! :)
Sunday, June 07, 2009
Guess what? I had been very diligently going jogging once a week for 5 weeks already! I must say, I'm quite proud of myself. As I used to be quite a typical sedentary medical student hahaha..
Of coz, my stamina is not excellent, that's why I hvta slow down and rest between intervals. But I can slowly feel some gradual tiny improvement so that's good. :)
Why am I doing this? Well besides the obvious reasons of health (I need more exercise!!), I was hoping I would be able to keep the fat at bay too lol. I feel perpetually hungry here (not sure whether izzit becoz of the cold) but I scared of getting fat lah!! Cannot be like imu times, just eat and let it grow fat haha.
(omg I miss maggi goreng so much... ajimal's maggi goreng the best!! T_T)
If I would to give one more reason, it would be I'm kinda
lonely bored here so I'm treating this like a project. Gives me something to concentrate on. A goal of sorts. So I don't think about other things too much..
Oh and do you know that actually you feel more alert after exercise? Not more tired as most people would think. I hope that would help me in my studies somehow. haha.
Might add in some other exercises as well... to tone up all this flabby fats. =/ Hope I would be able to see through this project of mine.
I think this is one of the stages in my life that I'm having sucha healthy lifestyle. Lots of vege, fruit, less meat and some exercise! wow. *amazed with myself lol*
Wednesday, June 03, 2009
Finally! I found the leisure of my mind to sit down and pen a more proper update instead of bombarding you all with humour-saturated sites or love-mushy videos. lol.
Anyway, so today was the third last day of my surgery posting (hmm sounds weird, 3rd last day but you know what I mean, don't you) and cliche as it sounds, I can't believe how fast 8 weeks just whizzed past!!
So far, it's the best posting I had so far, was fortunate to have fabulous teaching from a great team who were encouraging. Oh and my groupmates are the loveliest ppl ever. :) I learnt tons in these 8 weeks! I saw stuff that was just mind-blowing.
I got to know what the roles of different members in a team do. And most importantly, I now know a little more abt what is expected of a junior doctor. Gotta slowly inch towards that goal of being a competent doctor. Coz I really don't want to look like a fool who have to ask what CXR stands for after at least 3 yrs in clinicals. true story apparently. :P
My current record for procedural skills stand at: 2 catheters (M & F), 2 cannulas and 20 bloods! Which I'm quite happy with. I just love the adrenaline buzz of getting something like tat right. lol am hooked on it.
Oh and today was my turn to present the afternoon ward round. I did so much better compared to last time. Although there is room for improvement (ie be more smooth in oral presentation) but at least there's improvement so I'm glad. :)
Did I tell you abt the neurosurgery I saw last week? It was removal of a more aggressive recurrent meningioma. Pretty cool. And I can't believe they use screwdrivers, drills and what-nots in the head!! haha reminds me of carpentry! And drilling a burr hole is really the same, there are small bits that fly off!
I also like the emergency side of things. I like going with the team when they go to review patients in ED. It's interesting to try to figure out the diagnosis. haha might keep in view emergency as an option in the future!
The only regret I have is that I didn't have enough opportunity to take more histories and do more examinations. We're always rushing off to another tutorial, another operation, clinic etc. Endless things to do. Oh well, I'm pretty sure we will get more than enough chances in Gen Med.
Anyway, after this, there is a one week break which they kindly term as "vacation" but is so totally not coz it is essentially a study break as there are exams coming up!! I better start crackin down on them soon coz some are them are really marfan (ie shitty) and I'm really slow when it comes to reading lecture notes. My brain just don't like processing them >.<
After this week break, my next rotation will be... guess what? Psychiatry!!
I learnt a lot in surgery but I think I'm ready to move on to something new. And this will definitely be a whole new ballgame surely. Definitely will be all about taking histories lol.
Okay!! That should suffice as a proper update. Up to you guys punya expectations ka?
EDIT: Decided to add in this picture since it's related.
L-R: Evan, Ian, Tom, Emma and Me!
haha yes, don't crack any height difference jokes.
I know I'm vertically challenged (in the lacking department) and they are all on average quite tall. lol.
General surgery is over!! time to stop procastinating and start cracking on those notes T_T
Monday, June 01, 2009
Hi guys, I promise a proper update coming up soon, but before that, please watch these two short clips shot by Wong Fu Productions.
A very cute innocent love story. I likey~ :)
HK - Dream Line (prequel)
The Spare (sequel)
PS: I normally don't do monthly anniversaries but since this matches the videos very well, here goes: Happy 29th month anniversary, dear dear! ^v^
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Naturally, as someone pointed out, there is a site called mymomisafob.com as well!
In my intervals of dealing with demands of a surgery rotation (read: reports!! with painstaking literature reviews, reading up for tutorials, ward work and don't forget, exams acoming!), I have resorted to some good ol' humor in these sites.
And today, because I'm nice like that, I'm going to bring to you again some classics from mymomisafob.com. ^^ Enjoy!
Post #1: Girls have expiration dates?
me: so, for my birthday… (starting to tell her plans)
mom: (interrupting) you need to really get married this year…
me: mom, i'm only 26 and i don't want to get married right now. we've talked about this so many times!
mom: yeah, well, you should get married soon. you turning 27, have 3 years to find good man and get married
me: huh?!?! um, why 3 years?
mom: girls no pretty when they pass 30. no guy going to marry you when you expire.
Post #2: Rape prevention tactics
Be sure to wear lots of underwear, so if you get rape it'll take them longer and you can escape.
Post #3: A lesson to learn
Scene: School parking lot after class ends. My mom points out a Chinese couple making out near the bathrooms.
Mom: Aiiiiiiiiiii-YAAAAAAAAAA! Can't they do that behind bushes or suuumting? If you eveeeeeeeeeeer get boyfriend, don't let me see do something like that!
Me: Don't worry. I wouldn't dare to.
Mom: Good. Because if you do, I take picture and send it to grandma. And then when grandma get heart-attack, you pay hospital bills!!
omg I thought I was gonna die laughing! *lmao* I know I'm not supposed to laugh at the fact the grandma getting a heart attack but the fact that the mum would risk that just to make sure the daughter wouldn't do that is just so funny! And not because of the heart attack as well, but the hospital bills! what the lol.
Haha I'm so thankful that my parents never talk to me about those stuff!! especially in that way! :P