Tuesday, October 31, 2006

A Fun Weekend

Ooo. Was wanting to blog abt some of the fun stuff I did over the weekend but only until now was I able to get an internet connection and some leisure time. Well, things are hectic as usual. Studies AND fun activities with frenz.

Anyway, let's not talk abt the former. It's so blah. -_- Well, I got back on saturday evening, and for a change, we decided to visit the famous SS2 area for food~!! It's a longer drive than usual, but it was well worth-it. As it's a very big area, we decided to go to the well-known "Wai Sek Kai" (Medan Selera/Appetite Street?!) for dinner.

And the food choices there are damn a lot lah. It actually was a long street that was made into a hawker center. And after I walked the entire length of the "street", I still coudn't make my choice of what to eat simply becoz there just were too many choices!! o.O

Anyhow, I decided on Mango chicken in the end. It was so-so only. Not sastified, I proceeded to stuff myself silly with 1 bowl of claypot yee mee, half a bowl of "tong sui" (this is nice!) and a cup of sugarcane. I can't believe I ate [and drank] SO much. I was so freaking full, almost till bursting point. No kidding! I'm sucha glutton. :(

And that was that for saturday. Now for sunday.

I finally went to the apparently quite famous "1-Utama". Was VERY big. And definitely can get lost btw the old and new wing. Anyway, to cut a long story short, me and a bunch of a uni frenz went to TGV (coz GSC was full) to watch Rob-B-Hood.

Ahhh.. This movie is really really GOOD! *thumbs up* And the baby is sooo cute! :) You know that is true when I tell you some baby is cute. Hehe. The movie has some really funny moments. The cameos by a few HK actors were funny too. And ya, besides that, the movie has a quite touching ending! And a good moral lesson behind it. Must-watch!!

Imo, the funniest part was when Jackie Chan wanted to do CPR on the dying baby. Unfortunately, he must have not gone for CPR class... coz he used BOTH hands on the few months' old baby!! Wrong~! My batchmates shld know that one shld only use TWO fingers to do CPR. And I can't believe we're talking abt that during the show. *sigh* You know lah, medical students can never have a decent conversation without jargons or medical stuff. Aikz.

Okie, enuf bout the movie. Then we had lunch at this place called Waffle World which offers really yummy waffles. *drools* I had a dish called "triple nuts smtg smtg"...hehe. Can't rmb, except it was okay, if not a bit too chocolatey. The waffle was choc-flavoured too, with nuts in it! The mango smoothie was lovely tho. ^o^

Then, we girls went shopping lo. I finally bought a new pair of shoes (after lots of hunting) that I was in dire need of, as clumsy me had broke the old pair. Hehe. But I quite like it, tho it was a bit smaller than i tot. Well, it prob wud become loser as time goes by, hopefully.

Oh ya, we had some fun trying some clothes that looked very nice. I was so tempted to buy!! *resist* Some weren't really expensive either.... I waaaant! Well, maybe next time then. The shoes cost rm50 ade leh... :(

Anyway, we went back home after that. We went to Ayamas in Carrefour for dinner. Met many Imu ppl there. Funny. And then we went grocery shopping lo. And I'm not gonna be an old lady and talk abt that liao (can you sense that I'm in a hurry to go?) so I guess I shld end my crapping now. Ciao~!

Saturday, October 28, 2006

The New Look

Okay, b4 I start crapping... Just wanna say tada! My blog has a new look ade! Isn't it absolutely totally fabulously freakingly beautiful? Haha. Don't mind me. I can gaze at it for ages I think. lol. I really love this new header of mine tho, especially after I'm done playing around with it in photoshop. The colours are so chun.. (^o^)v [wah, really siao abt bright colours ade..haha]

Anywayyyy, *slaps self awake* tmr will be going back to KL ade.. *sigh* I'm so gonna miss the healthy home-cooked food eh.. :T and lots of other stuff which I'm too tired to think abt now. Coz it's 2 smtg in the morning and tmr I gotta wake up early eh.. Starting out at 9am tmr with beh.

Okay, my eyelids are drooping ade... Can't tahan anymore. Don't want to use toothpicks either. *sweat* I'll blog the other clutter in my mind later then.. Byez! [Wee~ Back to freedom~]

Thursday, October 26, 2006

The Blogger's Syndrome

The Facts - What You Need To Know:


A relatively new disease that emerged in the late 20st century and is currently on an alarming rise in the year 2006.

There is no stopping it, since it's extremely infectious and once, infected, there is no known cure for it. Destructive and systemic, infected persons are known as "compulsive bloggers", as blogging is a way of life for them.

A vaccine has yet to be found but IT-illiterate ppl are working on it.

Current Status: Already a pandemic.

Vector: "Weblog" (now more popularly known as a "blog"). Active 24/7. Well known vectors since discovered are blogspot, xanga, friendster's blog, blogdrive etc.

Etiology (Causes): Fed by euphoria of ppl reading and acknowledging your writings. Comments left by others greatly aggravates the condition. But can be due to extreme boredom and a need to do something remotely useful too.

Signs and Symptoms:

  • "partial paralysis" of the phalanges (fingers) due to excessive typing.

  • "exophtalmos" (bulging of eyes) due to immense strain of the eyes from the glare of the screen.

  • bouts of "psychosis" when something interesting is happening. [don't you find yourself piecing together a blog post in your mind just then?]

  • sudden "amnesia" where you sit down, stare at the computer screen and find out that you've forgotten everything that you've painstakingly planned to write about.

  • occasional "hypoxia" of the brain, leading to writers' block, which leads to ppl writing crappy posts like this one. [kinda regret writing that, I think I just ruined my reputation along the way, aikz]

Pathogenesis: Starts when you acquire a blog (vector, rmb?). Symptoms are mild in the beginning, incubation period varies among individuals; but will eventually flare up into addictive blogging. Can never get rid of it, will always remain a latent infection.

Treatment: As mentioned above, no cure yet known to mankind. No vaccine either. The best way is to just delete your blog forever and never touch a keyboard ever again. But there is a huge doubt in the scientific community if that way will work.

Epidemiology: Currently almost 40% of the population is affected (correct at press time), found more prominent in people who are tech-savvy and love writing crap.

Prevention: Never expose yourself to the vector! [means don't start a blog lah] No matter how much your infective frenz plead you, be strong.

Take Home Message: Rmb, prevention is always better than cure. If you think you have even ONE of the signs & symptoms above, pls refer yourself to a psychiatrist immediately. Thanks for taking your time to read this. :)

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Funny Flash Videos

Was quite bored, so much so that I resolved to watching Flash videos in the hope that they will alleviate my boredom... and they sure did! ^o^

Here are some of the cool + funny ones, sure to crack you up:

Okla, enough! Put up too many links ade.. If you still hunger for more laughter, then just visit this page, coz all of the above are the creations of Dominic A. Tocci. I'd go so far to say he's a genius in creating funny flash videos. Hehe.

Well, I'm kinda out of topics to blog abt - never tot that wud happen - coz life in penang consist of staying at home almost 24/7 [what to do lah, parents must miss me too much I think -_-"""] and sticking close to the beacon of light called the internet. Ha. Whatever. Ciaoz.

Btw, some of the videos above don't have exactly the most squeaky clean content okay. Be prepared. Proceed only if u're not someone concerned abt being pollitically correct. Hehe.

PPS: Am kinda frustrated with my laptop. It has been crashing quite a few times the past few days. *pulls hair* The first time it did so was when my bro was using it - ya, kind me lent him. And he swore he did nothing, but I wonder. I dunno whether izzit kena virus or worm or the drive spoil or whatever (!!!) and now I can't download stuff coz it crashes whenever I open any P2P programs. Ish. *sigh* I really don't want to reformat my comp, coz I'm so lazy to back up my stuff.. So much!! Why my comp so weak wan ah? I already reformatted it around 2 months ago, coz kena some "super virus" that won't let me install any antivirus software. Don't tell me hvta reformat again.. Noooooo...!!

PPPS: Eh, I just changed the header of my blog on a whim. What do you think? I absolutely love the pic! The colours are so fantastic! (You know me lah, I'm crazy abt colours :P) The only thing I don't like is that there's some blue space on the right of the pic. Any amount of tinkering with the html just won't make it budge. Bleh. And I can't move the title of my blog to the middle too. *Arggh* Yeah, yeah, I can be a perfectionist sometimes. But I still love the pic. Fabulosa~ Happy~!

Monday, October 23, 2006

The M106 Blog

Okay, I'm going out later so I won't say much. Just wanna tell you guys that my ahem, brilliant idea some weeks ago has taken off!

*drum roll*

The M106 blog is born! Yayz~ Do go check it out okay! Leave comments! ^o^ If you are a batchmate that wants to contribute to the blog, pls email batchm106@yahoo.com for the invitation to join. :) Ppl who are good with html and stuff are welcomed to lend a hand. Thanks!

My god, I'm just so excited over this project. Hehe. Happy~ Okay, stop reading and go see it NOW!

Sunday, October 22, 2006

The Despair Within Us

Was reading thru an accquaintance's blog since I've a lot of time to kill and was feeling kaypo. :P However, I left feeling sad for him. I didn't know him well, but somehow I could feel his immense sadness and disappointment in himself.

Ah... how well I knew that feeling of despair, the feeling of hopelessness, the feeling that nothing can ever go right. It was a feeling that there is nothing to hope for in the future, that your hope of a future was cruelly snatched from you.. :(

But I am one lucky girl. I have many frenz that support me v(^o^), a family that will try to make me feel better even though they love to nag me... Blek. So I didn't feel so down in the dumps. And God has given me another chance in the end. I'm really blessed. Must make use of it fully, so that I don't disappoint anybody...

But this poor fren of mine. He seemed in utter hopelessness in his blog post. He mentioned of frenz that didn't know him anymore, a family disappointed in him, and a girl he likes that shuns him now... That has got to be the suckiest feeling in the world. That when you are really depressed, and you find yourself alone, with no one to turn to for help or comfort. Despair.

I know how it feels coz I felt that before. And I don't want to feel that way ever again. It's terribly scary. To be alone. *sigh* I hope someone will go cheer him up! It's a bit weird for me to do coz seriously, I don't think he even remembers my existence!

Somehow, I feel the need for everyone to be happy, I dunno why.. But maybe I gotta stop that, or else the one really suffering will be me - well that's what my fren said anyway. *shrug*

Anyway, I'm generally quite happy now. I just want to live life the best way I know... :)

Kick-Ass Quotes

Here are some kick-ass quotes by Kunal Kapoor. I'm not exactly sure who he is, probably some famous Hindi actor. But his quotes are just too cool to pass up, so I'm putting it up here for you guys to read. Enjoy~

  • Love... is a moment of surrender. :D

  • Pillow Talk... happens when a man is trying to prove that he isn't just interested in sex. :P

  • Kissing... is saying with saliva and silence what you can't with words. ^o^

  • Cyber Sex... is one guy stimulating another, making him think it's a woman on the other side. :O

  • Holding hands... is a romantic union of sweat. lol.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Maggie Market

Another awesome games' site found here, introduced to me by Suewen. [It's called Maggie Market, eh not Maggie mee wan maggie lah, I think the site is owned by someone called Maggie lah... =.=""]

Anyway, the site is really fun!! ^v^ Females will prefer this probably. Do choose from the many games recommended at the yellow bar above.

For me, my fav was... eh, I can't decide! Actually most of them are funny lah.. Try it out. Use a mouse to play instead of using touchscreen (like what I did) is recommended. Or else you might get sore fingers after sometime, like me. lol.

Okay, enjoy! This is cute, not scary at all, so don't worry! :D I'm spending too much time on games, when I shld be catching up on studies... aikz.

Anyway, a very Happy Deeparaya to all my frenz out there! =) Toodles!

Interactive Clicking

Just wanna recommend this pretty cool interactive game. It's called The House (eh, not Dr.House lah -_-"") Click here for the page review about it. To "experience" it, just click on the pic on that page, and voila, you're in.. Well, it's quite a scary + gory game actually, so if you wanna scare yourself silly, this is best watched/played when you're alone with all the lights out. Hehehe.. *evil grin* In my opinion, it IS quite scary.. [my heart is still racing a bit now..] It plays to the human imagination. Yikes~

If gory stuff is not your cup of tea, fun light-hearted games like Alien In The Room might be just the one for you. Quite cute~ Click here for 2 games on it. :) Point of advice tho, if you can't get thru the game after extreme clicking about, I suggest you just read the walkthrough provided. Or else one can really go nuts leh. lol.

This is another cool game. Concept is like Sim City but the way to go about it is different... Cute! Click here to play! Wee~ I think I'm getting addicted ade... Uh-oh..

Anyway, there are quite a few cool games there. They are linked to one other at the top of each review and the recommended ones are at the sidebar . So enjoy! ^o^

Ah.. Penang is a blessed land of fooood! I just had my fav curry mee this morning. *licks lip* And mum's cooking is unrivalled. Can't find anything like it anywhere else! Shld I list the delicious food I want to eat?

Lemme see - best wantan mee in the world (I know just the stall!), mouth-watering dimsum, the cheapest and yummy western food [Woo! Been deprived of that!], the nicest ikan bakar ever etc... Okay, maybe I shld stop now. I really wouldn't like you guys to spoil your keyboards by drooling all over them now, wouldn't I? Hahaha...

The Long Journey Home

And finally I'm back home in penang. My god, the journey back took SO freaking long!! :(

We started out around 2.30pm and can you guess what time only did I reached home? 9.35pm!!

The weird thing was, we expected there to be a big jam at the penang bridge, but when we got there, it was pretty smooth sailing. Gloating over our good luck, little did we know the horrors ahead.

After we got onto the lil' island, we're shocked to see a MASSIVE traffic jam near Tesco. *sigh* It took us more than 1 hour to move along a stretch of road that would normally take, what, 10 minutes? Really charm... guess that I'm not really fond of traffic jams, but then who is? Unless the person wanna take the chance to spend some "quality time" with his lover or smtg? Hehe.. Dunno what I'm crapping. lol.

Oh ya. The weather was totally horrible. Very heavy rain plus thick thick mist! Most of the drivers had to turn on the hazard lights.. I was a bit scared coz beh was driving a tad too fast for me to be ease at some parts. Lucky we arrived safely in one piece. Coz along the way (esp around Juru), there were many accidents. There was even a four car pile up. o.O Hey guys, safety comes first okay..

Anyway, as expected, mum let me had an earful thru the phone even b4 I went to meet her. Aikz. So like her... What to do, this is what I get when I'm back in penang. But nvm. Must appreciate the nagging leh.. What happens if there comes a day when she wouldn't be able to nag me even if I wanted her to? It all depends on perspective, I guess.

Okla, gonna stop here ade. Quite tiring journey. And nothing interesting to say anyway. Just wanna whine abt the traffic in penang, especially during festive seasons! Not fair leh.. Aiya~ But it's GREAT to be home again! Yayz! Ciaoz, peeps!

Thursday, October 19, 2006


It saddens me to see good frenz being torn apart - flesh and soul - due to small misunderstandings.

And the fact that they didn't talk it out but showed their snarling claws at each other in the blogosphere. How unfortunate that blogs have become a tool of "psychological warfare". Where other bystanders can read and form their own conclusions based on each's side of the story and maybe take sides too.

To me, best-friendships are smtg sacred. Smtg to be treasured. I really will do a lot to get back any good frenz that I've lost thru misunderstandings or any faults on my part. In total, I just wanna say F.R.E.N.Z. mean a lot to me.

Anyway, really hope that they will patch up their friendship somehow (the situation looks quite bad as it had gone pretty public ade.. aikz). I guess that is still somewhat possible if they treasure their friendship enough to put aside the petty past. But then, who knows... *fingers crossed*

Okay, shld sleep ade. It has been a long day. Nitez, peeps~!

Went redbox from 3 smtg till almost 8!! Can't believe we sang for so long! Fuyoh! Nice. And we had lunch in one of my fav restaurant - Kim Gary!! The cheese-baked rice, french toast and apple snow mountain is very salivating-inducing!! Yummy!! Really heavenly~! Really liked it lah... (you can see that very well, can you? lol.)

PPS: I learnt smtg new today. Besides the very basic thing of thinking b4 we talk, we shld also talk with discretion, seeing what is the situation. Nope, for once, I didn't say anything wrong. Just thinking abt what a fren said today (if you wanna get technical then yesterday morning lo) and how he talked without discretion on certain sensitive issues. But then I guess that it's just him. Anyway, I shld learn from the mistakes of others. Yeah.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Just A General Update

Yesterday aikido's class was quite different for once.

Coz yesterday was the 1st class after the recruitment drive... meaning there were quite a few juniors!! It's been a long time since the mat was filled till there was not enough space to sit...

I wonder how many of the many juniors will be able to withstand the torture training long enough to learn some new techniques. Anyway, sensei taught them some pretty advanced stuff, compared to our first time. Which was quite boring, if I must say so. blek.

Welll, the seniors (yeah, I am a senior o.O) were supposed to help the juniors while doing the various techniques by training with them. Changing partners each time. The thing is - I get confused abt which sides to use A LOT - and I feel that I was such a lousy teacher to the juniors! :( If they don't come back, it's probably my fault. Coz they've seen how lousy I am when I train with them. Aikz.

But mind you, I'm relatively okay while training with batchmates or seniors. I mean, most of the time, I probably would be able to attempt to do smtg that looks similar to whatever technique that we're supposed to be doing. My batchmates and seniors have been a great help to me! Thanks~ :D

Anyway, yesterday's class bordered a bit on boring. Coz the stuff sensei taught was pretty simple. I mean, however bad I am, I did pass my 1st grading (^o^)v so we're learning something slightly more advanced than that. Sensei made us do so many backfalls, and after the class, I felt fired up (due to the excessive warming up, I think) but didn't get enough of doing techniques! Aikz. I think I was sweating from the warm-ups only.

We're talking about this after class. And John said that we shld go to the Friday class in Brickfields so that we can learn faster. Dunno leh. I mean, I wanna learn new stuff and challenge myself, but I've too many commitments.

If I've learnt anything, it's this: That I shld never sacrifice my studies for anything else.

Note to self: Your parents paid so much for your education, and this is your dream. You shld put it as a high priority on your to-do list. Go~! *punches fist in air*

I guess I might go occasionally? We'll see how things work out. But the last friday class I went to was really strenous. No kidding. Now, that's what I call a good class...

Okay, enough mumbo-jumbo abt aikido ade.

Last nite had dinner at the girls' place. Thanks for the nice dinner. I loved the new dish you made, Lishan. Corn with chicken~ Yummy! *licks lip* After clearing up, Suewen let me have a go at playing O2Jam!! This was my first time playing it and my god, it's totally ADDICTIVE!! lol.

She even offered to let me install it in my comp, but I think I shall pass for now. I mean, I've enough temptations (or "distractions" from my studies) for the time being. *thinks of the number of anime I've been watching lately* I think if I really wanted to O2Jam, maybe I can just play at their house once or twice after dinner lo... Hehe. Thanks~


Well, it's going to be double celebrations soon. Deepavali and Hari Raya!! And that means a long holiday for me! One week!! Will be going back to dear penang, so frenz who loved to see me (perasan, haha) just gimme me call ya!

I can't wait to see my family... Miss ya guys, especially my dad. He's the best man in world! Okie, better stop here.. or I shall be blogging a post abt great a man my dad is ade.. (actually really can blog a post abt that lo... *thinks*) Oh ya, I can't wait to eat penang food too!! Curry mee, hokkien mee, ikan bakar etc~!! *salivates*

Right! Going to stop here now. Enough rambling for now. Got class later. Then after that going for a redbox session with the girls! Yayz! Toodles!

Monday, October 16, 2006

Confident? Hmm.

Ah. Other ppl's perceptions about me do surprise me sometimes.

In the past 1 week, I've been labelled as "confident" by three different ppl. Isn't that surprising? Apparently to them, I look very "confident + competent".. That is totally so :O.. Haha.

If you ask me, I don't really think I am. Confident, that is. Looks deceive? Hehe. Hmm. Prob it's just an innate facade? Dunno~ Well, someone said that at least my patients will trust me when they first see me. Good lo.. ^o^ [Mutters: If I do managed to become a doctor, that is. See? There I go again!] Anyway, never judge a book by its cover. Cliche but true..

I think deep down inside, I need ppl to acknowledge the value of my existence. (Doesn't everyone do?) I measure my self-worth by certain level of "tests" that I set up myself.. For example, if I can't achieve this goal, then I'm not as good as I think I am lo... Doesn't all this point to someone who is insecure? Or is it just smtg normal? I dunno..

Ok fine, I'm not that unconfident as to think that I'm worth less that an amoeba. lol. I do have my sense of self-worth, and let me assure you, I'm not suffereing from any inferiority complex of the sort.. But I definitely know there is room for improvement. [Isn't there always is? It's a life long process! Aikz.]

Well, don't really know what I'm crapping here. Haha. Hope you get the point.


Haven't been religiously blogging the past few weeks. Sorry lah.. I think the blogging bug that have bitten me flew away to some other host probably. -_-"" Ah. That reminded me. Gonna start lectures on parasites later today!! And seniors say that is really hard! Charm.. :T

I said I'd study consistently but I haven't really managed to get down on my resolution. Buck up, girl! Don't repeat your mistakes!! (^o^)v

Okie, gtg ade.. Tataz!

PS: Happy 20th birthday, Kee! Hope you like the celebrations we had for you.. It was a surprise, wasn't it? Hehe.. Pity we didn't get to throw you into the pool. Haha. Anyway, wish that you will stay happy and healthy always. :) Cheers!

Friday, October 13, 2006

Screwed Up

Have been wanting to update since monday but everything written in astrology mythology has been against me. *gazes at stars* Ok, nvm mind me crapping. Blek.

Anyway, haven't been feeling the best these few days at certain times (esp when I'm alone). Well, of coz, the obvious Q would be "Why"? And I shall tease no longer and reveal the reason..

Coz I bloody screwed up my exam last monday! :( :( :(

To be truthful, the general populace's opinion (which consist of very smart ppl, definitely excluding moi), summative 1 wasn't really really hard. I mean, if you've studied enough, you prob shld be able to answer most of the Qs.

And I tried my best to cover all at the last minute - leading me to severely deprive myself of sleep almost entirely the few nights b4 the exam - thus leading to me, feeling a bit blur and confused during the exam. Which of coz lead to my ultimate downfall.

I wasn't exactly feeling alright during the exam. It was like, there was this enourmous bulk of info swirling in my brain and I was trying really hard to retrieve the correct info. But I failed to do so miserably..

Okay, fine. To cut a long story short, I did really badly and there is a VERY good chance I'm going to FAIL. *frowns with super depressed face, complete with new wrinkles and all* I know I said this sort of stuff before, but this time it's true!

Coz I knew I got a lot of Qs wrong during the feedback session and I'm SO dead... *wails* I mean, there were quite a few Qs that I know the answers to, but I just couldn't "vomit" it out during the exam, and only suceeded in retrieving it after the exam. *Arggh*

I'm really disappointed with myself sometimes. Why can't I be more consistent in studying like some of my frenz? Coz I know that if I've been studying like how I should be, I'd be able to answer most of the Qs... seeing that I do know the answers to most Qs, except that I couldn't retreive the info due to the fact that I crammed too much info into my little brain in too short a time.

I know I could pull it off last time.. but I guess old age is catching up on me. It's telling me that sleep is important to the senile. :(

Dunno lah. *hands start creeping towards head, hair-pulling mechanism when frustrated might initiate*

This is a bitter lesson indeed. I really hope I have learnt my lesson. Pls do not play the fool and be serious about your studies, girl!!

I can be whiny at times, sorry ya. I need a place to rant, that's all. Anyway, thanks for listening to reading my whinings.

Signing off,

Girl, Disappointed.

FOCUS and CONSISTENCY is a virtue! There are no shortcuts to success. Hard work is the way! Go, girl!

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Words Of Encouragement To Self

Feeling so much better now, thanks to the many frenz who just know how to cheer me up. Yeah, now I know... I really was making a mountain out of a molehill lah. Aikz. That is just SO me..

Anyway, failing CPR really is a small thing lah.. There are many hurdles ahead of me, waiting for me to conquer them. Shld I give up before I'm beaten? That is so unlike of me to give up so early, right?? I won't! *Yes!*

In a way, it was a blessing in disguise, I guess. At least it made me wake up from my "playing the fool" phase, I guess. Time to get down serious and study the hell out of me!

Note to self: Failing once doesn't mean that I'm a failure. It just means that I need to study harder! Go go go! I can do it!!

Okay, enuf crapping. Less blogging till next mon, which is the day which I'll be having sum 1 and the CPR resit. Hope I do okay for both! Wish me luck~ ^o^

Time to hit the books! Tataz!

PS: Had a quite nice, not-so-stressful PBL for once... Was great! Wee~ :D

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Me, A Failure? I Really Wonder...

Totally shld be studying or doing PBL now but feel too depressed to do either. :(

Why? For once, I've a valid reason. Okay, fine. I failed my CPR. Seriously, I freaking can't believe it!! *sobs*

Okay, this may sound arrogant or conceited, but normally failing doesn't happen to ME. Although I procastinate often and is a lazy pig when it comes to studying, I do pay attention in class and I study like a mad fool when it's near exams. I'm a good student! I really am.. [Trying to convince myself that I'm one.. okay, maybe 'was' would be a better word.] So normally I pass (or do better than pass).

I must be too arrogant for my own good. [Am I??] Heck, this is like some power-above shoving into my face, telling me: "Heck, you're not smart, AT ALL. So quit pretending to be one, and work harder, idiot!"

I feel really angry with myself. I've not been studying seriously this sem and now I'm gonna pay the price. I'm in deep shit and very worried. *hugest deepest sigh one can muster*

Yeah, yeah, the other ppl who passed are gonna say: "Aiya, this is just CPR exam whut, small thing only, right?" while patting you on your back, thinking that they are making things better, while actually deep inside they are feeling a small twinge of superiority coz they passed and you didn't. (Don't you dare say I'm wrong! *huff*) Btw, this only applies to those who are insincere in giving sympathy. Thank you, to my frenz, who did make me feel better.

The rumour flying around is that the admin randomly choses some ppl to fail so that they can earn some extra moolah ($$$) from the resit. But I don't think so. It's quite a far-fetched theory, isn't it? Although it's surprisingly weird that some very smart ppl (nah, I'm so not) also failed. But still... It's just an excuse to make us feel better, isn't it? Gah!!

The resit is next monday, after my summative. So that means I won't be able to study for the resit either as I can't finish what I'm supposed to study for my sum 1!!! :( I'm totally paying the price of playing the fool the past few weeks. Damnit!! I am gonna fail my sum 1 too, I can feel it in my bones!! *arggh*

I'm so letting my parents down. I shouldn't. I'm such a loser. I've disappointed their hopes in me. :'( Feel so guilty. Really feel like crying..

Why was I taking things lightly? Thinking everything will be fine in the end.. It is so not.

Whatever. It's a very effective wake-up call!! Now, it's really time to get things in hand. [Remind me why am I doing this course again? Aikz.]

Time to get down and STUDY!!

Ok, really not thinking straight. Sorry if I offended anyone with this post. I'm not in the best of mood, quite furious with myself for being an idiot. Congrats to those who passed, and "sigh, we share the same fate" to those who failed. Aikz. Okay, maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but I don't care! Let me rant pls~