Sunday, July 12, 2009

Fickle Time

Feeling like I'm in my own little bubble, separated from the outside world.

This must be what it feels like to have what they call "social isolation".

Might be having "anhedonia" too... Or izzit that I just lack the things that normally bring me pleasure?

Oh no.. what is psych doing to me! @.@

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Haha sorry just being a bit crazy there. After doing a surgery rotation, psych just ranks okay on the like scale.

It's not tat I dislike it, but I don't exactly love it, that's for sure.

It's always interesting to see when the patient do bizzare or funny things, but other than that, it's just okay.

And I can't believe that I used to consider psychiatrist as a possible career option. Hmm...

I find it difficult to take history from psych patients. Either you can't interrupt them coz they are having pressured speech, or they just are tangential (jumping from a topic to next) or they just don't want to talk to you. Not really easy to understand them also. And yes, a lot of them are at the least very circumstantial (ie long winded).

Oh well, tmr will be week 5 so another 4 more weeks to go. Must learn to talk more fluently in front of others!! Have an observed interview and a case presentation exam coming up soon! haha and I don't feel like studying much for it at all. bleh.

Then there will be campus week, which will be quite free for me as I went to the lecs already last time. So can have a break I guess. Then up last will be my last and toughest rotation for this year, General Medicine!!

Then study break then major exams of the year! Then holidays and home!! ^^

It will be another 7 weeks before Dear comes over to visit and do his elective. Seriously can't wait!!!

Can time pass a bit faster? It feels like ages when I'm doing psych. A stark contrast to surgery, when 8 weeks just felt like it flew by.

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Btw did I tell you I hate change? I see a pattern forming in me. It's not really healthy. I really need to cope better.

Time to grow up. Although I don't really want to.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Unpredictable

A lot of things have been happening.. I'm feeling stressed out and worried.

So many things to consider. Life is so unpredictable, isn't it? One moment, it can all be fine and dandy and the next moment, bam, and everything comes crashing down.

It's not easy. I really wish I can fastfoward till the time I graduate and start working. Not that I desperately want to work, but that at least I will have the means to make my own decisions.

Things could go wrong. Very wrong.

And I haven't been able to study much the past few days too. I should probably start bucking up on my psych stuff soon. Exams in a few weeks' time!

Yalah, I'm a worrier lar. so what? Bite me.

Sunday, July 05, 2009

When Hitler Finds Out MJ Is Dead

This is what happens... lol.


Paying The Price

I realise that I have gotta live with my mistakes.

But... isn't it such a heavy price to pay for something that I've decided on a whim?

Well, let this be a lesson to myself. To think through things, especially important decisions throughly in the future - weighing all the pros and cons.

Yeah.

Now? I just gotta work with what I have now. I know I can do it. I can survive.

And wait patiently for the day that I can make a new decision. To live life the way I want it to be.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

What If...

I would hereby like to congratulate all my friends who did well in their BMedSci program!

Especially my two ji muis, Funnie & Yannie who got 1st class honours! I'm so proud of you all! Your hard work paid off!! :D

I will be waiting for you guys to come and experience aussie life next year!! So we can talk abt it and laugh abt it together haha..

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I'm really thrilled for them... but somehow all this got me thinking again: "What if...?"

What if I hadn't be so stubborn and had instead chosen to go into the BMedSci with them?

Would life have been different? A loud resounding definte YES!

Why? Sometimes, I really wonder why have I been so rash to decide against that. Now thinking rationally, there would have been so many pros to go with that decision.

I would have been able to be with my 2 ji muis for at least 3 yrs! Would have been so fun to experience life in clinicals and aussie together! To share laughter and tears together. I really miss that.

I would have been able to help my parents save more money by reducing this year's tuition fees. (Btw exchange rate go up d T_T)

I would have been able to at least see my bf more often this year too. Reducing the ldr to a not so painful experience...

And... I would have an extra degree to boot! Which definitely would be very helpful in our future career I'm sure.

And what did I throw all this away for?

Just because I think I didn't like research... And we hvta do it anyway this year, it's compulsory for 4th years here. (of coz it's not as intensive as theirs, but yeah..)

And that I get an extra year of clinicals, so as to improve my clinical acumen. Well that's true, but I think I'd have been more motivated and study harder if I was with my ji muis.

Why? I keep asking myself now why was I so rash to make such a decision?

I really have no answer myself now.

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I know, I know. I have no choice now. I'm already here. It's already been 6 months plus. I can't change anything now. All I can do is put the "what if's" behind me and look forward to the future...

Whether if there is anything to look forward to though, remains a doubt.

PS: Sorry ya guys, a congratulatory post become an angst-filled post pulak. But I'm still very proud and happy for you guys k! Love u all! xoxo

Monday, June 29, 2009

Labour Of Love: Part IV

And here comes another post abt my new found love of cooking! ^v^ I've included some macroshots as well, coz omg, food never looked this good with it!

Be warned to not read this post on an empty stomach! :P

Let's roll, shall we?

First up is stir fried bean sprouts.

carrots go well with anything, seriously.

told you macroshots make things look better!

Next up is a creamy pasta.

I used the three cheeses sauce from the bottle lah.. yum yum.

another proof that carrots go well with this as well!

I'm going to get hypercarotenemia eh? lol.

Thirdly, malaysian style curry chicken!!

am so in love with this

I'm gonna be able to satisfy all my curry cravings from now on :P

that's right, I just used the packets available - really simple

I will try the other flavours next time!

And next up is something that I decided to try coz I had a tofu craving... yeah I know, been having cravings for food that reminds me of home aikz.

And eating out here in Perth is so expensive that it's ridiculous! And sometimes the asian food is weird as well. Been angmoh-nized lol.

Tofu with mushrooms!

absolutely yummylicious! Recipe can be found
here for ppl who are interested.

yeah I adore shitake mushrooms!

And miss eating all the different dishes of tofu back home *salivates* haha

And last but not least!! One of my star dishes currently is...


Sweet and Sour chicken! Yup that's right!

I had a craving the other day and voila, whipped up this according to this recipe (I substituted pork with chicken tho)

And lemme tell you, it tastes exactly like back home! Now I know how they make it back home nyehehe..

Aren't the play of colours just pretty? :D

I'm sure there will be more new dishes to comes when I've more energy and am bored of eating the same old thing again. I'm adventurous like that, can't keep doing the same thing everyday :P

Till then, do enjoy trying out these dishes as well! Hope it gives you guys who are cooking often an idea on what to try next! :)

Monday, June 22, 2009

That Thing Called Exam

I'm back! Did you guys miss me? Probably not! What with my dwindling readership...

What! My life not interesting enough for you now lah har?

haha okok kidding lar. I know all my friends are all very busy busy lo. Gambate to everyone in seremban who are gonna have their major exams soon!!

Speaking of exams, I just finished mine last thursday. Verdict? Different and difficult. They asked abt genes, percentages/statistics and weird obscure stuff. =(

Pathology was quite hard and I don't like how they just splatter out lab results without clinical history at all and expect you to diagnose what's wrong. o.O And other questions they just churn out minor details from the notes (which I forgot the details btw!) which have no relation whatsoever to the stem info and expect you to choose which is right or wrong! A doctor I used to know would say: "No clinical correlation!!" lol.

The silliest bit was the part where they just gave us 10 image based Qs and just expect us to diagnose what is it just like tat. yes macroscopic pics. Which basically means memorizing from the images available, coz tell me lah, how can you diagnose what sort of cancer is it without biopsy or what? -_-

Pharmacology wasn't easy either. So many drug-drug interactions to memorize but then they must put in some which are not in the notes. How to rmb lah, so many interactions in the whole wide world!! aiya zhong ji difficult lar, duwan talk abt it d! (actually is my memory slowly fading abt that lol)

Last one was Infectious Diseases. [yaloh, all my unfavourite topics, man - thanks a bunch] This wasn't so bad. At least I knew where I was going with some of the Qs. And I could answer some antibiotics Qs!! *light shines on me lol* but still hvta guess for some. But can safely say my knowledge abt antibiotics have improved immensely compared to last time. Now just hope that knowledge won't leak out coz I'm gonna need it again end of this year. and yeah maybe rest of my life =/

Anyway, so that's it about the exam. Just want a clear pass for all three! That's all! (wow my expectations certainly have lowered)

We didn't do anything really crazy this time post exam - I think we all old ade lar, just wanted to relax after exam lol. Was so nice to take a break and have a weekend where I didn't need to think or worry abt anything!

We had some great italian food on friday night but I'll post up the pics later coz we exceeded our peak internet quota this month so gotta wait till tonite midnight and the speed will be renewed again! oops.

And yeap, I'm in psych now and I think I shall leave it till there are a bundle of interesting things to write about in my next post.

Tata for now! Gotta read up about mood disorders for pbl tomorrow!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Pre-Exam

Exam tomorrow afternoon. Wish me luck!

First time finished studying 1st round the day before. *gape in amazement* But probably because I sailed thru certain parts coz I got annoyed with some of the meticulous details we were supposed to remember?

Anyway, I've forgotten a lot of the stuff I have studied T_T so yeah, I better have a quick run through again. And maybe try to memorise those stoopid details last minute. >.<

Ok lah, update more after the exam! Can't wait! I hope it goes well. A bit nervous coz dunno how their exams here are like. =/ Tata for now!

PS: Good luck to the sban peeps having exams this week as well!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A Lifetime Of Memories

I've been wanting to write this post for a long long time. But somehow, I find it hard to put into words the feelings I want to convey.

And the importune time when those feelings usually arrive make it harder to revisit them when I'm ready to string them into sentences.

Anyway, suffice to know, the memories, the feelings in this post has been sliding in and out of my mind; sometimes eerily taking shape, sometimes in formless substance.

They come at times when the mind is idle. The phrase "the idle mind is the devil's workshop" is no hearsay.

They come when I'm taking the public transport, with nothing to distract my mind with except observing the behaviour of my fellow passengers - which I must report, I have no real interest in - hence how my mind wanders back to the past.

They come at those moments just before the mind shuts down for sleep. Everything is quiet and still. You can hear your own breathing, feel your heart pumping inside your chest. And so your mind strays to the memories of the days long gone.

Till now, I can't believe, it has hardly been a year since we said our goodbyes to each other in that dear ol' place called IMU.

It seems like a lifetime ago.

It wasn't exactly a spectacular place, with the unfortunate connotation as used to being a site of a failed supermarket. Oh but the life we breathed into that place!

Memories come aflashing by.

Do you remember how we pulled off that famous hokkien rendition and almost brought the house down? And a particular lecturer was in raptures. :P

Do you remember all the trips we have together been to? Penang, Langkawi and Redang. The latter was the best of all. The snorkelling, the volleyball and most of all, the people. :)

Do you remember the weekends when we hung out together? Whether it was some high class resturant, or some dingy kopitiam, the best part of it was that we could laugh and enjoy our food together. It was especially the highlight of my day then when the rest of the time all we could do was mug.

Do you remember the library? Cold and chilly as it was, it was one of the places that warmed my heart dearly when we were all forcing ourselves to sit down and study all day. Coz we could always just turn around, and kacau the friend sitting next to us reading his/her notes intently.

Do you remember the numerous surprise birthdays celebrations we pulled off for each other? It was always a cause for celebration. There was the time we had the one by the poolside in vista B. And by the end, almost everyone already had a turn in the pool :P

Do you remember how we were frantically trying to catch up with the superspeed mind and mouth of certain lecturers? Trying to write down as much as we can, then when there is some time, to steal it and ask the one beside you: "Hey did you get what he say about this part ah?"

Do you remember how we managed to pull of cooking that massive amount of spaghetti for some event that I can't even remember the name now? We swore we wouldn't be able to look at spaghetti for weeks! haha.

Do you remember the countless times we sat down at the mamak and the other person could tell what the other wanted to order from the boss. "Maggi goreng tambah telur, dua, abang!" And let's not even go into the content we talked about while we were in the mamak. Suffice to know, it covered everything from medical to downright personal. :P

Do you remember the songs we sang together at one of our favourite places, Greenbox, where there is food and freeflow drinks? We could even tell who was the one tat had chosen the song that was coming up next on the screen.

Do you remember the dinners we suffered thru together? Anticipating good food today from the caterers and complaining together when it was lousy? While some people crowded together in front of the tv to catch the chinese drama that was ongoing, some hung out and started arguing about certain aspects of diseases/drugs or whatnots.

I could go on and on.. while scenes from the past slowly flashed past...

but I really can't believe all this happened just a few years ago.

Cause to me now, it seems like a lifetime away. Out of reach and almost impossible to touch. Like mist. Something that you can see but you can never touch.

It will never be the same again.

All we have will be just memories to last us a lifetime.