Thursday, June 28, 2007

Not A Meanie - But A Lazie

I've been given a chance to be mean and steel-hearted to those who had treated me that way in the first place.

But I guess I'm just too good-hearted after all. *cough smug look cough*

It's not that I can't be mean - I can, when the time is right - but I guess I still believe that even if ppl are mean to you, doesn't mean that you hvta return the evil favour. If you do, then what difference are you from them anyway? Right?

Besides, looks like Karma has its own ideas. I always believe that Karma will come and bite those that rightfully deserve it back in the butt in the end. hah.

My theory has thus been proved - at least once.


Regarding studies, let's just say I'm running out of time. Have been slacking too much the first few weeks. Still have lots of cover.. Aikz. And when I really wanna work hard, my body has to break down on me. Have not been feeling well the past few days. Hopefully I can last till next week.

Alright, better resume my hiatus. My mountain of notes are waiting for me!! o.O

Wish me luck. Coz I'm gonna need it!! Ciaoz.

The sem 5s were supposed to finish their exams by today. However, they'd have to resit their first day OSCE tmr morning. For more info, pls read this. For a more personal viewpoint, you can read this and this, by one of my seniors who hvta go thru this tragic chain of events. I hope my batch's exams go smoothly. I cudn't bear to resit any paper! I'd go nuts...!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Hiatus (Tentatively - You Know Why)

It's been quite a few days since I last appeared in the blogosphere. But mind you, it wasn't out of self-control - though I wish very much it was.

My internet service decided that it had enough with our 24/7 demands and went on a self-imposed leave for the last few days. *huge sigh* It was frustrating not being able to check my blog and rss feeds. %^&*&#@!!! Talk abt blogging + blog-hopping being an addiction. heh.

Anyway, addiction onot, it's time for me to impose a blogging hiatus for myself for the next 2 weeks. Till I finish my BIG important exams. -_-

I'm still gonna be reading blogs and stuff, but strike blogging (and impulsive anime-watching!) out of the list. I hope it works, you know that self-discipline is my worst to-do-list chore.

yesh yesh I know, I shld have planned my work out... but heck, I've been slacking the past few weeks!! So gonna pay the price now. Will hvta SLOG my brains out!!

There are just not enuf brain cells!! Why won't my neurons proliferate more? Oops, that's cancer, sorry. I hate the dark circles under my eyes. =(

Anyway, there still might be the occasional rant and all, but it will be short and sweet. Which shld be how I'm keeping this post now. yeah.

So toodles and wish me luck~! =) There is a lot at stake. I must try my best!!

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Thank You, Daddy

Hehe, I can't believe that I was so blur that I wished my dad Happy Father's Day so many days in advance! It's the radio's fault for making me believe that it was last sunday. Finally cleared that with my Daddy - anyway, it's the thought that counts, right? :)

I've always been closer to my Daddy. I think it's becoz that I'm more like him while growing up.

I was the one who lurve reading, the one who lurve meaningful conversations. The one who enjoys indulging in one's pursuits of enjoyment. Like him. (no dirty thoughts pls! I meant hobbies!)

He was the one who instilled in me the love for reading. I fondly remember the times that he would used to read me bedtime stories every night. No matter how tired he was. That was how I started devouring any storybook in my sight. You'd find me quite well read in the genre of fairytales. lol.

I miss those days. But I'm too grown up for that now, eh? haha.

He would buy me almost any book I want. Luckily I don't have such a voracious appetite when it comes to reading anymore (see what med sch does to us?!) or he'd be the same situation as k0k's dad. hehe. *pocket bocor* Those books sure don't come cheap.

I also remember how he would cook supper for us every other night. Since he wasn't really a good cook, he could only cook certain foodstuffs. But at least he took the time and effort. And we being kids, didn't even help to wash up. (-_- yesh, I know that is bad of me, I do help now okay)

He was the one who is always open to new ideas, always trying to shorten the so-called generation gap between us. [how has that lead to many a laughter! :D] He was the one who gave me freedom of choice to do what I want to do, and make sure I wasn't intimidated into any choice of career.

Even though he is tired from work - he never found it in him to start scolding me for no reason. He was the one who showed me what was tolerance. And unconditional love for his family.

I lurve the fact that he wasn't a typical egoistic male chauvinist type. He cared for his family, never thinking that helping mummy with the housework or going to the market was beneath him. I admire and loved him for that.

People always used to say I look a lot like him. Secretly, I was happy, hoping that maybe I might have his good personal qualities in me too. (at any rate, I do have the same allergies as him though, lol!)

He is the one who inspired me to be a good doctor, the type that genuinely cares for his patients. (you shld have seen him at work, the patients absolutely lurve him! haha) Seems like I've a lot to learn from him.

Since I'm away from home most of the time now, I really miss my Daddy's comforting presence that "he will make sure everything is okay". Nowadays, when one hvta start fending for oneself, the safe comforts of home seemed like a luxury, not a certainty.

Sometimes, I secretly think that he being such a great father and all, he deserved more. Something better? I dunno. I wish that I'd be able to provide him with the best that I can give him with these two hands of mine. [therefore I must study hard and make him proud of me!!]

To me, he really is the world's greatest dad. =) Thank you for always being there for me. ^v^

I love you, Daddy. Happy Father's Day! *teary*


On a lighter note, here's an advert that is simple but damn funny. Do understand the humourous undertones! :P Geddit geddit?

Safe sex, kids! Abstinence is the best cost-saving way! lol.

Anyway, to all my readers out there (I dunno if they fall into that age range yet, haha), Happy Father's Day!

Make sure your dad knows that he's the best!! ^v^

Now, if only my dad would "accidentally" stumble upon this post... *muses*

Friday, June 15, 2007

I Want To Make Them Happy

My parents' voice on the phone never felt so comforting, especially my mum's. She sounded gentle tonight, asking how I've been recently and assuring me that I've done well. (that doesn't happen too often, mind you)

Yes, GI results were released today (well yesterday morning if you wanna be particular - to me, the next day always comes after the sleep).

And boy, were we surprised. Coz I rmb that one of the lecturers promptly told us that they're gonna release our GI results with our EOS results... so I wasn't expecting anything. Which was good in a way coz no expectations = no disappointments. yeah.

Anyway, I was just happily checking my mail this morning (yesh, I check it quite a few times a day - how else would I waste my time away on the internet?) when I saw this email from IMU. Wondering what is it about, I opened it, and lo behold, my result was abruptly staring at me.

Tell you what, they definitely don't do the wishy-washy way when it comes to informing you of your results.

The first line staring at me was this:

Dear Student, your GI results: top secret *insert result here*.

Going around in circles or sugar coating their words ain't their style eh? lol.

Anyway, hearing my mum's voice telling me that "I already did my best and that it was alright" really soothened me up. I feel happy that I managed to get my parents' nod of approval. =) Now to make them happier, I need to do well for this major exam coming my way. It seems like I've finally found a good motivator!

Anyhow, I'm satisfied ade with my results. Heard that quite a number didn't do well. *To my batchmates: we really must gambate for EOS ya!!*

I probably shldn't slack so much nowadays... I know I'm an expert when it comes to procastinating but hey, why shldn't I advance my major in being a consistent worker eh? Well, I think I'll just go for moderation, thank you very much. Somehow being a diligent student that studies 24/7 didn't strike me as an attractive lifestyle. lol.

Yeah, I know I'm talking crap now... coz I feel kinda sleepy (so much for being a night owl) but I wanna stay up a bit to study. ish! Looks like blogging is only distracting me from catching some shuteye temporarily. Once I turn my attention to my notes, I'm pretty sure that my eyelids will fall like there are weights on them, haha.

Alright, time to see if my prediction comes true. tataz!

Teenie update:- yesh it did came true! aikz.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Picturesque Ramble

It isn't often that I feel too lazy to update my blog. Blogging is supposed to be a hobby that I indulge in with pleasure.

But what with the study break and the need for a will to make me study hard everyday, well, there just isn't much to update. In case you're wondering - no it's not going well - and yes I need to spank myself for being a tad too relaxed.

Both sides of the coin ain't too good. Being too relaxed or too stressed up isn't helping in any *freaking* way. As always, moderation is the key... but that is elusive so far. I know I'm so gonna regret this in the few days to come, when I'm frantically reading notes and going out of my mind.

yeah, probably something like this

When will I learn my lesson of not procastinating and being consistent with my work? Who knows. *shrugs* The day that happens will be a day of celebration where pigs start to fly. blek.

riiiight. flying pigs huh.

Nowadays, even me, the non-coffee drinker is looking forward to her daily caffeine boost. I really like the 3-in-1 coffee that I bought from Oldtown Kopitiam... Nice~

IV drip of caffeine anyone?

But becoz of that, my circadian rhythm is also screwed upside down. I nap in the afternoons (which is so not me) and sleep very very late at night. *arggh*

Alrighty, time to get mushy with my notes again.

Hope you enjoyed this picture post! Thought it would be a good replacement when I'm at a loss of words. heh.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Putting Oneself In Others' Shoes

Haven't finish my ramblings of the kkb "trip". Okay, fine, I know we're supposed to go there to learn! And I sure did!

Anyway, something scary happened to me on our 1st day clerking patients in the hospital. Me and my partner had finished clerking our patient - a nice malay old man - when we saw that there was a procedure being done at the bed beside. So we decided to wait and observe how a urinary catheter was inserted.

(jargons from henchforth will be used - so skip if you don't understand okay. I'm just too lazy to explain myself, blek!)

The patient had quite a pitiful history. He was involved in an MVA around a year ago, was now lame in both legs and had shattered his pelvic bone plus other complications. And just recently, he had problems in micturition. So now the doctor wanted to insert a urinary catheter so that he could urinate.

This was the 2nd time they're doing this procedure. It didn't work the 1st time or this time either. Everytime they tried to get something out from the catheter, there was no urine. The patient was in A LOT of pain. His face was all distorted in pain, at that moment, I really could almost feel his pain. (yes, I am an empathic person) The rest of us were wincing visibly now and then too at the thought of the pain he must be going thru. So it wasn't me alone.

It was then when it happened. I had a very acute attack of nausea. Not wanting to disgrace myself by vomitting in the ward (!!), I slowly walked out to find the nearest toilet. Suddenly, immense dizzyness seized me. I didn't know which way was the toilet. The whole world was spinning, my legs felt weak and I couldn't stand properly.

It wasn't like the normal dizzyness where you could still walk around. It felt almost like fainting (not that I've fainted before tho). I nearly lost my footing and fell into the drain. My forehead was suddenly soaked in cold sweat - literally. I was practically scared shitless coz I didn't know what was happening to me. I have always been a very healthty person, so these sort of things had never happened to me before. [hey, I never even had a nose bleed in my life!]

I had to sit down at a corner on the floor - labcoat, stethoscope and all - near the toilet entrance (yeah I managed to find it in the state I was in eh) to get my bearings. I felt so unwell that I had to bury my head as lower as possible. Two people who walked by kept asking me if I was okay. [thks for your concern btw]

After quite sometime, I felt okay enough to try to get back to the ward... but still felt a bit shaky on my feet. When my frenz saw me, they were very shocked. They said that my face and (especially my lips) were very pale. Puifun came rushing to my side. I felt shaky with relief (that at least if anything happened, they're there) and nearly fell down again. blek.

They made me sit down while Puifun went to the canteen to get me some water and glucose! She got me 2 sweets and some mineral water. Luckily Jiayu managed to assure me that smtg similar happened to her b4 so I wasn't so worried (too much of watching House MD I think, lol).

I felt so much better after resting and was normal soon after. Phew~ Thks ya, guys for the concern. =) They were asking me a bit of history and I felt a teenie bit annoyed - so there you go - the experience of being an irritated patient! hehe.

Later I called my dad to enquire why this fainting spell occured. He said it was probably that I put myself in the patient's shoes a bit too much and felt his pain. And that it's normal.

I felt so relieved - that it wasn't some severe debiliatiating disease or that I can't stomach seeing gross scenes thus crippling my chances in becoming a competent doctor. I always tot that I'd have the guts (or would make myself have the guts) to handle whatever gross stuff that will eventually come our way. Luckily, it was probably just too much empathy at the wrong time.

And sometimes we wonder why doctors had to detach themselves from the patients. So much for putting oneself in the patient's shoes, huh...

If it makes a doctor become an incompetent idiot that can't even string a sentence together, then I guess in the end we really need to detach ourselves from our patients (at least partially) to get the job done. Makes one think more, doesn't it?

Anyway, what I learnt from this is that doctors are just humans, so sometimes we shldn't blame them if they're too cold and distant - coz that is how they can function well. Now I must keep telling myself to emotionally/mentally detach when a patient's in pain so that I won't have a fainting spell again!

I was totally fine when I finally got to see part of a delivery the same day, hours later. And it was much more bloody than that. A lot of female students normally get turn away by the thought of giving birth themselves after witnessing a delivery, coz it's scary in a way.

Right, I shld end my ramblings now... Study progress is still kinda slow. But at least I don't stress up so easily now. yeah!

It's a long long journey, the road to have that Dr. in front of your name.

Here's a video of A Day in the Life of a Med Student. It's funny how med students overseas share quite a few similarities to their counterparts here eh...

Mad med students - UNITE! :P

Friday, June 08, 2007

Back From The Sub-Suburbs

Hi guys! I'm finally back and alive from KKB... Felt kinda tired and sleepy after I got back home. But home (yesh, vista is my home in a way now) is really the best! Comfy~

Anyway, I gotta say this: I really had lots of fun this time around~!! ^v^

Group E ppl are so cool! *does victory pose* And my roomies are so fun! Although it was study break for EOS and everyone was supposed to bury themselves in notes and books 24/7, we still took time out to do a lil female bonding. *winks*

We spent almost the whole of one night talking crap away... but it was really nice sharing thoughts, gossip, opinions and jokes with you guys. =) If only we had not felt guilty and decided to continue studying, it'd have been great!

Yesh, of coz, the environment was not as comfy as home. But I think the room on the 2nd floor is much more comfortable. At least there's a table there, and enough chairs. And the shower head is better altho smtg happened to the hanger for clothes, so we hvta put out stuff on a chair outside a cubicle. Kinda 'mafan' but nvm lah. hehe.

Well, there were a lot of experiences to share... Many things happened. So probably will talk abt it in more detail in my next post. Photos might be uploaded then too, if I can get my hands on them! hehe.. Feel kinda sleepy now, blek. So will go take a nap! tataz.

Oh ya, here's a super farny video that most med students would be able to relate to. Teaching you abt the wonders of ECG. I was totally laughing my ass off watching this. Enjoy! :D

Monday, June 04, 2007

Stay Calm

There's a feeling of calmness suddenly.

Even though the news you bring of are in a way "bad news", but it's never too late to learn a lesson from it, eh?

I hope this calmness will prevail. It's such a nice change from the panicky stressful feelings of the past few days. yeah.

Two more hours before I board the bus to KKB... lalala.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

Slow Going

Wow, this has gotta be a record. Almost four days of non-updating me blog.

Betcha thought that I was happily mugging away on my notes. Well, you're not exactly wrong either. I was trying hard to force myself to read the notes, but somehow my attention and concentration kept wavering. So I definetely wasn't very happy with myself.

So... now, I have the urgency but none of that urge or will to sit my ass on that chair and read my notes with full attention - without surfing aimlessly on my blog + watching anime + or playing stupid addictive games.

(Btw, here's a game for those that need a plain old good destressing. I know I do.)

However, if you tot that I must be sleeping well these few days, then you're wrong. Have been dozing off while studying almost every other night. Which leads to unrefreshing sleep and lethargy, which is so not conducive for studying the next day. Ish.

In conclusion, I'm hopeless in disciplining myself to study!! =(

*Shyt* And why do I have a feeling that my blog posts in the coming month are all gonna be rants abt how slow my progress in revising!! If I do find the urge to type anything at all.. being so dull and depressed abt my revision and all. bleh.

And I know I said I won't be bothered by how much revision have others covered. But hell, some ppl are totally G0Ds! They have covered so much in so short a time-span. And I seemed to have forgotten almost everything I've studied in foundation2! *die*

Am so gonna die for EOS3... but I can't give up yet. Not now.

PS: Going KKB for rotation posting tomorrow. So expect no updates till thursday night. Unless I suddenly get my hands on a computer and an internet connection there. Which is a laughable thought for a place that don't even have kfc or mcds. heh.