Modern Love

It's ironic how 'love' is taken so lightly these days.

In this modern day, couples can break up and get together with other people in the blink of an eye. 

That's why when I see old couples in hospital who have been together for decades, I think they are very cute and loving. Or when I see an old lady/man who cries and doesn't want to live anymore because his/her spouse has passed away recently, I feel for him/her.

Perhaps, in this age where everything is fast-paced and on demand, we keep on searching for something better instead of cherishing the precious things that we already have.

Look Who's Reading

I just found out today that my dad reads my blog. *horrifying gasp* OH HI, DAD!! lol.

Okay, I hope I didn't write anything too weird here. I do screen whatever I write here since it's public cyberspace anyway. Who knows who is reading?

I would love if readers could comment once in a while to make their presence known though. Don't tell me I have to be like those camwhore female bloggers that post a hundred pictures of themselves in essentially the same pose to get creepy comments? Whatever happened to real content? Albeit, this blog basically consist of nothing much but the ramblings of a mad med student. :P

Anyway, I should stop rambling for now, I need to get into the studying mood!! Come to me please? sigh.

Clean

Phiew. Finally finished cleaning my part of the cleaning duties allocated for the impending house inspection. 

One of the best feelings in the world (for me at least) is having a good nice bath after doing some much needed cleaning. It feels good to feel clean. Yes, I think I have a little of an OCD trait. But hey, they say you need that to do medicine. lol.

Anyway, I think my right arm has hypertrophied as a result of overuse. Okay, over-exaggeration as usual, but my right brachioradialis muscle is sore and tender. :(

I also realised something. I can't focus on my studies if I have something on my to-do-list that I have yet to do that day. Maybe it's an excuse, but it's definitely a bad habit!!

Right, this entry is more like a ramble.
Here's a statement to scare myself again: Exactly THREE WEEKS to exams!!! AHHHHH!

Now, that's more like it.

Focus

Less than a month till exams come a knocking. And I still can't focus.

UH-OH.

Happy 24th ♥

It's almost going to be one month since you left. How time flies! And so much has happened in this short span of time... that it almost doesn't feel like a month.

I suddenly remembered that scene when you were leaving. It was a sunny Saturday afternoon. My phone rang. The van had arrived earlier than expected... We walked out hurriedly to the street outside my house.

The driver came down and said hi to both of us. And started to put your luggage into the trunk. When you told him I was your girlfriend, he said smilingly: "Go on, go on, give the girl a hug and a kiss."

You gave me a tight hug. I didn't want to let go...but I had to. You went into the van and sat down on one of the seats. There was a couple inside. And the woman smiled  knowingly at me, with a little pity in her eyes.

I have always been pretty good in not crying but this time, I don't know why - I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes. The driver closed the door of the van. We kept looking at each other. When the van started moving, you didn't look back any more... Although I kept staring at you, willing you to give me one more glance.

The van trudged along its way, leaving me staring at the shrinking vehicle, I could feel the tears dripping down my cheeks uncontrollably.

You were gone. Once again.

------------------------------------------------------

Life has been harder without you around. But hey, no one said a long distance relationship is easy. I gotta have faith that one day, we will be able to have a life together again.

Couples around us are breaking up left and right. But I gotta have faith - that love will see us through all obstacles.

Happy 24th birthday, dear. ♥

A Hearty Start

Just a short note. Finished my gen med last week - which ended on an unexpected note actually. Glad to get it done and put it behind me. 

I need to start anew. I know I'm doing my best so I don't need to apologize for that. But I guess there are some things I can be more pro-active about! Always room for improvement!

Anyway, a new fresh start. Just started Acute Coronary Care for 2 weeks. Today was the first day. Seemed quite interesting really. And the 6th year med student on the team is very nice, very keen in teaching me. :D Time to brush up on some cardiology related stuff.

Heard a cool (and very clear!) murmur today. Pansystolic and early diastolic murmur loudest on tricuspid area, nil radiation. I think it was due to tricuspid regurgitation and aortic regurgitation. Wow, I can identify a diastolic murmur!!

Cardiology seems to have a good mixture of medicine and procedural stuff. But I know it's a very competitive speciality to get into though!

All things aside, need to focus on exams which are coming soon! *yikes* So much to study... and so much to remember. :(

PS: Yes, pun intended for my post's title, if you didn't notice. :p

Still Learning

Tomorrow will be the end of my gen med rotation, and guess what? I don't think I'm going to miss it. Oh no, I enjoy the medicine part of it, the patients were generally nice and interesting.. Just that there were some unsavoury parts that I would rather not mention. (sorry, can't talk about things like this on public cyberspace)

Anyway, all things aside, I had my last assessment today. It went pretty alright, despite the consultant being strict and asking a lot of questions. Call me a sadist but I would much rather have it that way. At least you learn this way. It's much better than having someone say you are "good" (when you know clearly you are not) all the time only to fall on your face when it comes to crunch time during exams. Big no-no.

But he was very nice as well, I learnt a lot from him. You know you can be nice and strict at the same time, no kidding really. It's doctors like him that are willing to spend a little time to teach med students like us that inspire us to become better doctors.

Although I got the diagnosis wrong... at least the other parts were right. Gave appropriate investigations and answered most of the questions appropriately. Need to work on putting all the things together more to come to a good formulation. And I need to listen to more murmurs!!

Which is great that I'm doing Acute Coronary Care as my option for the next 2 weeks. Will hopefully get to brush up on murmurs and my ECG reading skills. ;)

This Is How It Feels

There were a few times when I almost got to this page to blog a new post, then decided I will not do a half-hearted attempt. Okay fine, I'm just a little busy. It's edging nearer to exams. About 5 weeks now. :(

Anyway, my long case presentation last week was fine, the Dr marking us was very nice so we got off alright. Interesting case I got though, diagnosis was pleural effusion, but the interesting part was trying to figure out what was the cause. Was it due to her chronic renal failure or was it new heart failure causing fluid overload? Or did she have a pneumonia? How about malignancy? Hmm...

I have to do another assessment (which should be presentation + examination in front of the consultant) tomorrow. Sigh, tis is the life of a medical student; full of assessments, reports and learning to perform on demand under scrutiny and pressure. I feel like an actor sometimes. Let me tell you, it is not glamorous at all, it is nothing like on House or Scrubs - it is made up of blood, sweat and tears. 

Now that I'm nearing the end of 5th year, I can feel the other different aspects of working life seeping in... I have had my share of difficulties in this rotation. Things like how to work in a team with colleagues who can be very different from you. And that one has to slowly work up the rungs before you can be acknowledged. Other things like your patients might not always like you and guess what? It goes both ways as well. But hey, I always try my best to be nice to my patients. If you don't like me, sorry-lah.

I want to end this post by reminding myself - this is how it feels to be a medical student. I don't have too long more till the end of the road, but yes I want to remember this feeling, so that in the future, when I'm on the higher end, I will do my best to help and teach them. 

Because I remember how it feels like.