Never

I should have known it was too good to last. I was foolish to think otherwise. But I guess there won't be so many long holidays after this one. 

I find it silly of me to keep thinking that the next time will be the charm, cause for some things, they will never be. Naive heart. Anyhow, it looks like some humouring is in order. I need to tell myself that I'm bigger than this.

Oh right. Results will be out in a few days' time. The truth will be out soon. Hope that goes well, at least.

Home ♥

I'm home!!

It's so nice to be home. Everything is so familiar. I had to spend 5 hours waiting in a very hot and humid airport though, before catching my flight from KL to Penang.

Anyway, when we first arrived in the airport, it took us sometime to get used to the situation back home. It was what I would describe as a reverse culture shock. Ironically, I knew I was home when there were rude waiters, spicy food, endless perspiring and dirty public toilets. Needless to say, some of them are not things to be proud of though. sigh.

But all things aside, I'm just super relieved that the freaking scary exams are over. This year has been such a long and difficult year. Hopefully, with some luck, I will be able to pass. Cause, seriously, I can't imagine having to do all of this all over again.

But now, I have at least 2 weeks to have a much needed relaxation with my family! :)

Over

IT'S FINALLY OVERRRR!!

Now, would you excuse me, I have a plane to catch in 5 hours' time. Need to get some shut-eye.

Will update once I'm back home! :D

珍惜

Enjoy this short clip based in Malaysia. Brings me lots of memories of the good ol' days.

爱，就不要放手。远距离爱一点都不容易，但我要相信我们是可以的。

Next Up

The coming of tomorrow heralds the coming of the second paper. (woohoo I just made a simple sentence sound cool, okay sorry all the study is going to my brain -__-")

Not so confident about tomorrow's paper though, coz the area that can be asked is just so broad... And my preparation for it is less than for the previous paper. Sigh. Oh, and I'm not a big fan of opthalmology or oncology, it just makes things harder to go into the brain. Must be natural resistance. 

Okay, I dunno what I am crapping about.

Let's just hope they ask common stuff (that I know the answers too - that would be even awesome! haha)

Right, this mad lady better stop typing now. Wish her luck though! (now why am I typing in the 3rd person??)

Burnout

One down, two more to go. I feel scared... but seriously, it looks like everybody also don't have the mood to continue slogging.

I think it must be burnout.

Motivation, come to me please!

Okay, one more week and I'll be home! Must pass!!

Remember When

One of the most touching and beautiful songs I have ever heard.

I hope our love story will be like this too. :)

War

Tomorrow, it all begins. The exams that we have been preparing for what seems like forever. (obviously over-exaggerating lah haha)

First paper is tomorrow, which is O&G + Paeds written paper. These two subjects take a bloody long time to study, you know!

Second paper is next tuesday, which includes General Practice, Opthalmology, General Medicine and Oncology. Oh no, haven't studied much for this!! AHH!!

Last and scariest is OSCE next friday. 16 stations, 7 minutes each, running one after the other. Definitely going to need the adrenaline to kick in for this one!!

Wish me good luck and that I have the confidence and calmness of mind to deal with all this!

Previously, it had all have been battles but this is WAR!

PS: Wah, banyak-nya exclamation marks in this post! :P

2

I am having a headache now post-nap due to being unable to get to sleep the night before. Damn these sleep disturbances when I need my sleep already! Wish I have some sleeping pills.. >.<

By the way, did I mention I hate studying opthalmology?? Arggh.

Two more days left. AHHH!!

4

FOUR more days till the most major exams ever! Get ready to FREAK OUT!

We were discussing about the exam yesterday night (sorry, nothing else on our brains lately). 

Don't you think that it is ironic that this is the exam that we have prepared the most for in our entire lives, and it is also the most worried we have been. :O

We must have confidence in ourselves that we can do it! Okay?

Familiarity

Was randomly watching some videos celebrating festivities in Malaysia.

Very touching indeed.

It's simple things like this that make me think of home. Home will always be familiarity. How people look and talk. I still turn back to look when I overhear someone speaking in a familiar language/accent.

Sometimes I can't help but feel sad that we have to go overseas to look for a "better life". I know you can say we don't exactly have to. But given the circumstances back home, it's definitely a better option for now.

But how I wish that I need not choose between better opportunities and familiarity. I can always try to fit in here... but somehow I feel there will always be at least a slight gap.

I wonder if there is any use in hoping that one day, one day the situation at home may change.

Insomnia

Been having terminal insomnia last week (means I keep waking up much earlier than expected). And now I'm having trouble initiating sleep even when I'm super tired. :(

Sigh. Anxiety mucho. I think I need some of those relaxing strategies we always talk about in GP practice.

I want a good sleep!!

Btw, exams in less than 2 weeks. Die.

I want to pass. I NEED to pass!!