I know that my resolutions post is supposed to be up first (oops still procastinating on it!) but I wanted to write this down when the emotions are still going strong so this post will really ring true.
Well, I just got back from my 3rd week of literature selective where we had this forum with some invited speakers. The text that we discussed was "Tuesdays with Morrie". I'm sure some of you avid readers out there had heard of this famous book. But I'm not here to talk about how great the book is. I'm here to talk about what I'd learnt so far from this literature selective.
I know and saw what most people's reactions abt doing literature as a selective were.
"Har? What has got that to do with medicine? Very time wasting hor?"
Admittedly, literature was not my first choice when I numbered my choices on that piece of paper. But since I was randomly selected to be in this selective, I just tot I'll see how it goes and what I can learn from it.
And learnt a lot I did. Never once did I regretted taking up literature as my selective choice. [well it was my second choice]
I learnt how varied people's opinions on the same matter can be. And how we should try to reach a compromise if possible.
I learn how to speak in front of an audience. This selective has been rather helpful in easing my anxiety when speaking in front of a crowd. I feel more confident speaking in front of others now.
I learnt how doctors should really act when dealing with death of patients. (of coz, easier said than done!)
I learnt about doctors' emotional detachment when dealing with bad news of any sort. And how a balance between being humane and still protecting oneself from feeling too much should be reached.
After doing this selective, suddenly the huge responsibility of being a doctor really slaps me in the face. I might not have any experience in any of the hardships of a doctor just yet, but just anticipating such events in the future really scares me.
I'm afraid that my will might break. My resolve to not be emotionally involved might not be strong enough. Can I really make decisions in the best interest of the patient and not let my personal beliefs intervene? Can I be the sort of doctor that society looks up to?
Those questions cannot be answered now but I'm sure the answers will come to me in the future.
Before this, the question that people always love to ask medical students is: "why do you want to be a doctor?" didn't have a constructive answer from me.
I would just say "it just happened".
I still do not have a concrete answer but at least now, I'm sure I'm doing something that I know I want to do. I'm heading in the right direction. To where I cannot say, but it just feels right.
Cliche as it may be but maybe it is my calling?
For now, all I can do is amass as much knowledge as possible (and that includes non-medical knowledge too!), learn about life and people so that I would be able to face any hardships or obstacles that might come my way with my best effort to do good.
Socrates defined what are the goals of medical care which I think is rather appropriate till today. Doctors are supposed to:
Provide cure sometimes. Relieve often. Comfort always.
Food for thought, ain't it?