Saturday, July 04, 2009

What If...

I would hereby like to congratulate all my friends who did well in their BMedSci program!

Especially my two ji muis, Funnie & Yannie who got 1st class honours! I'm so proud of you all! Your hard work paid off!! :D

I will be waiting for you guys to come and experience aussie life next year!! So we can talk abt it and laugh abt it together haha..


I'm really thrilled for them... but somehow all this got me thinking again: "What if...?"

What if I hadn't be so stubborn and had instead chosen to go into the BMedSci with them?

Would life have been different? A loud resounding definte YES!

Why? Sometimes, I really wonder why have I been so rash to decide against that. Now thinking rationally, there would have been so many pros to go with that decision.

I would have been able to be with my 2 ji muis for at least 3 yrs! Would have been so fun to experience life in clinicals and aussie together! To share laughter and tears together. I really miss that.

I would have been able to help my parents save more money by reducing this year's tuition fees. (Btw exchange rate go up d T_T)

I would have been able to at least see my bf more often this year too. Reducing the ldr to a not so painful experience...

And... I would have an extra degree to boot! Which definitely would be very helpful in our future career I'm sure.

And what did I throw all this away for?

Just because I think I didn't like research... And we hvta do it anyway this year, it's compulsory for 4th years here. (of coz it's not as intensive as theirs, but yeah..)

And that I get an extra year of clinicals, so as to improve my clinical acumen. Well that's true, but I think I'd have been more motivated and study harder if I was with my ji muis.

Why? I keep asking myself now why was I so rash to make such a decision?

I really have no answer myself now.


I know, I know. I have no choice now. I'm already here. It's already been 6 months plus. I can't change anything now. All I can do is put the "what if's" behind me and look forward to the future...

Whether if there is anything to look forward to though, remains a doubt.

PS: Sorry ya guys, a congratulatory post become an angst-filled post pulak. But I'm still very proud and happy for you guys k! Love u all! xoxo


Titus Tang said...

What's done is done lo.. just make the best of what you have now :)

eeveehow said...

Congratulation to pui fun and li yann!

Be strong, zi yun!

Zzzyun said...

Titus> yeah... i understand it totally..just tat sometimes the mind is strong but the heart is weak..

Muihow> thanks! :)

Li Yann said...

Wow, I didn't know u dedicated a post to us sumore...Thanks, zizi!! *HUGS* Really appreciate it.

Don't feel sad that u didn't join us, zizi. Cuz knowing u as well as I do, I don't think u'll find it very enjoyable at all. Lots of monotonous & repetitive lab work. U've always been the type that needs new excitement & discoveries tat clinical life offers! :) Altho u're doing research too, but thankfully it's not as intensive. I was almost KOed by this BMed thing too, u know... @_@ Lol.

Well, will be going over soon....but till then, my best wishes & warmest regards will always be with ya!

Though our roads may diverge, who can say for sure our paths will not cross one day, rite? Just gotta have faith!

Take care, zizi!!


Li Yann said...

P.S: Thanks, Mui How!! :)

Zzzyun said...

Dear Yannie, thank you so much for ur comment! it sure made me feel happier :D

haha yeah maybe u know me better than i do myself.. anyway what's done is done. i shld look forward to see what's in the future for me...

and yeah! who say our paths cannot meet again in the future right!! ps: who knows, we might be working in the same area next time! woohoo!

anyway thanks again for the comment. lessen the regret and i feel better already. :) love you. xoxo

fun fun ^_^ said...

Haha.. first off I'm shocked like Li yann that you actually annouced our Bmed result on your blog!! We haven't even got the official notice bout the first class thingy hahah... Seems like you're more excited than we both are bout first class... Haha =)

And yeah thanks mui how for the wish =)

I totally agree with Li Yann that knowin you, you might not like it alot... Imagine one whole year of nothing but research and lab work. I might have gotten a project with less lab work, but the travelling and worry over availability of specimens is enough to wear me down. The rest had to mingle with mice and other problems (ie supervisors and technical stuffs)... Research is definitely not for the weak hearted - Must be prepared to accept randomness and spontaneity. Nothing is perfect in research... Ask Li Yann, how many times have I sighed over my project, and there were stages I thought I wasn't going to finish in time and will not get second upper...

Of course, if time turns back again, I think I will still choose BMed. Why? Coz of the experience.. The incredible ppl I met.. I realised how much BMed made me mature, not just academically but also personally.

Same for you, you chose UWA becoz at the time of decision, it was the best option. Grass is not always greener the other side. I forsee that me and Li Yann would have a super tough clinical schedule simply coz ours is 2 years only, when I think the 3 year course gives you more time to breath. It is quite important since one is trying to adapt to a new environment. I'm sure there's a reason for you to be where you are today. There's alot of stuffs you've learnt right? You obviously can cook much better, and have learnt to live independently (physically and emotionally). This makes you strong, very strong =) And I'm sure you've met ppl and have had wonderful clinical experience there.

My point is, everyone made choices and yes sometimes we think what if we chose the other, but every path, no matter good or bad, has its own purpose to fulfill in the traveller's life.

Oh darn, I sounded like someone too old giving long-winded advice again. I really need to cut down on talking/writing.

When we get over to Perth one day you better make sure you know Perth inside out!! Coz you gotta be our tourguide!! And lastly wanna said super touched that you cared so much for both of us, always smsing us before our big day and somemore blog about our results =)

*拍胸口* 我挺你!!

Zzzyun said...

Dear Pui fun, I tot Li Yann's comment was long but urs was even longer! o.O haha thanks alot though. really appreciate it. :D

I guess what u both said made sense. Maybe there is a reason why I'm here. yeah I've learnt alot in the past few months.. things that I never thought I would be able to do before, now I can do on my own d...

in a way, I guess this is how growing up is like.

haha yeah, I'll definitely welcome u guys if u all come to Perth!! Faster make plans!! lol.

Anyway, thanks again for caring for me as well. That's what friends are for rite? I'm so glad that we all became frenz :)

Do take care k! Love u xoxo..

AiLing said...

One thing I've learnt over this past few years is...not to regret the decisions I've made. I always tend to regret my decisions and wonder 'what if...' And I admit I've made many wrong decisions.
But at the end of the day, we have to look forward, no matter how painful it is. Because it is the painful experiences that shape us.
I always have my own 'what if' questions. Had I not done my Neuroscience degree, I would've already graduated and become a doctor and probably already completed my housemanship training.
Do I regret this? Sometimes I do, but then I don't dwell on it.
Everything has it's pros and cons. And sometimes you wonder why something happens the way it does, but then once you trust God, He will always turn every single path you take into good. :)
And yes, like PF said, you have an extra year of exposure overseas, which is good. From what I see, you are doing well and enjoying clinical school life over there, so that's great! Nothing to regret about, isn't it? ;)

Btw, congrats PF and LY on your results! :D

Zzzyun said...

Hey Ailing, what you say is true. I guess if one would to continue thinking abt 'what if's', there will be no end to them, and it will only impede our ability to look ahead, right?

Maybe there is a reason I'm here. Just that I havent known it.

Haha well clinicals life here is not bad I guess. But there are alot of other factors as well, which I rarely talk abt in my blog.. but I guess I shld look ahead instead.

What doesn't kill me will make me stronger yeah.

Thanks for your long long comment as well! :)