It's interesting when I realised that I'm currently in a phase where I'm just going along with things.
I think for every person, there is a need for a sense of control, but the degree needed is different for everyone. I think my threshold used to be really high. I still plan a lot of things ahead of time but these are the small things. Things like what am I going to cook tonight? Do I have stuff to make a sandwhich for lunch tomorrow? Am I buying enough vege and meat for next week? As you can see, most are food-related. :P
But I think I have stopped planning for the big things. Coz I can't anymore. There are too many variables that I'm unable to control. These would be what we call 'confounding factors' in EBM. lol.
I would love to know - which part of the world will I be in 2012? Will I be able to get the job I want? Will I still be with you? Could we have a future together?
Now, I'm taking the big things with baby steps. I might still dream of the future, but dreaming is different from planning.
I also realised I'm in a phase where things are going okay, but still I want to run madly forward, to another new phase of my life, to answer those questions. To know their answers, so that I can prevent things from not going the way I hope them to be.
In a way, I still wish to have control. Just that I'm unable to do anything now but have faith.
3 comments:
fyi, if you are going to write a post like this again, please refer to the quote you highlighted beneath your title banner.
Thank you.
i agree. but then not knowing what the future (big things, not the small but saying that, sometimes the smallest things are the ones that matter -.-) has in store for you is not a very nice feeling altogether.
then again, if you're always planning, i suppose you'll never live life to the fullest potential seeing how guarded you'd always be.
conclusion, you can't plan EVERYTHING. there are some things in life that you have to take as it comes.
PS : damn, i've been away from the blogosphere for too long. i hope you're doing well ziyun!
yi long> haha well spotted! yes... i know that. but knowing and doing is two totally different things. :/
ellice> haha yeah.. i realised that. i guess in a way, sometimes not knowing can be part of the surprise that life has in store for us. just hope tat its a good surprise and not bad one :P
im doing well dear. i hope everything's good with u too :)
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