Sunday, August 03, 2008

Conflicting

Will be going to the airport in an hour's time. So am taking this time to read up on my feeds' updates.

First, I came across pinkpau's post abt unconditional love.

It made me think back abt how I used to be afraid to love. As I've been hurt before... (actually I am talking abt friends here, but you're welcome to interpret it yourself) It's not easy to give your vulnerable heart to someone you barely know, asking him/her to take care of it. And you know that he/her could so easily break it.

So I swore that I'll never put all my love into one person anymore, instead I'll spread my love to a bunch of friends. So even if something happens with one of the ppl, at least I'll have some others who will care for me when I'm down.

Coz I know what it feels like. When you feel as though the whole world has abandoned you to drown in your own sorrow.

Because of that, I've always been observant of others. Ready to help some people who might not be so vocal abt getting others to listen. So I've always been ready to give them my listening ear. which I hoped had helped, even a little. =)

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And then I came across k0k's post abt cheating boyfriends. Boy, his post certainly stirred up the anger and incredulousness inside. How can these guys knowingly and purposely do that to their gfs?? They deserve to get their balls kicked. hah.

Sry for the language but hey let me swear at these assholes okay?

I hope the guy friends I have will never do this to the girls they love. Coz if you love her, you wouldn't purposely do something that will hurt her so deeply.. it's as though you had broke the fragile heart she asked you to take care of.

Okay, all these conflicting emotions ain't healthy. *take deep breaths* Am gonna go take a bath and get ready. I have a plane to catch! haha.

Do check out those posts. They are certainly well-written. And will give you some food for thought. Tata for now! ^v^

8 comments:

Harry MacDowel said...

hello...long time din leave comment d although i been visiting ur blog regularly. but urm, i hafta leave one here coz personally i haf something to say lol.

hehe but what i gonna say is too long so i post my reply on my blog instead. ;-) btw hope u dun mind what i said in my blog...if it does hurt ur feelings, lemme say sorry to u first.

anyways, enjoy!!!

Zzzyun said...

oh hi.. sry for the late reply. have been on a trip and not near comps! lol.

anyway i'll check out ur reply soon k. its in chinese! *gasp* so gonna take me sometime to read. haha..

Harry MacDowel said...

hello zi yun! long time no c.hehe.and yup i know bout u going to trip and 'the bf' house. been keeping up with ur blog all the while punya. ;-)

er, actually i mean, appreciate the presence of evil while we pursue kindness. because of evil, there exists kindness and vice versa. In a world which is homogeneous, we will never ever be able to seek what is true in ourselves.

In this world, there are a lot of ideals. These ideals co-exist because one way or another they contribute to the balance. It's like a million pieces which in the end equal to the yin and the yang.

It is perfectly okay to hold onto the principles, but there also should exist a subconsciou type of understanding that hatred shud not be spilled. Islam and Christianity co-exist, but because there is hatred and disrespect spilled across the misunderstanding, so there is war.

the post is mainly about co-existence, the essence of co-existence and what made co-existence important. and it's also on the basic respect and tranquility within a soul, a balance within ourselves that everyone can achieve when one learns to forgive, forget and insensible.

well, haha, i inscribe a lot of philosophies that i've been trying to figure out all along into it. so, interpret it as the way u want it to be la. maybe half a year later you read this post again u will find that u are reading it the different way.

and for your fren, that's another case. depression and ignorance always come together. he is having a problem and if he does not think that committing suicide is the way out, sooner or later he sure will solve it. be patient. dun give up on him. always be patient, loving and insensible enough to live everyday serenely and happily.

of course, in the end, i seek a peaceful balance. i will fight for it, to make ppl understand what i understand.

cheers!!

Zzzyun said...

hello! sry for my lousy comprehension of ur chinese post that u had to come and explain it to me here haha..

hmm i think i get ur point appreciating the presence of evil while we pursue kindness. coz without evil, how wud we know what is kindness right?

but i wouldnt use the phrase "appreciate evil". coz "appreciate" sounds like u are giving it the nod of approval. how abt acknowledging the presence of evil?

and by detesting it, we are acknowlegding it right? shldnt we try to lead everyone to goodness?

i know, here comes the problem. coz everyone think their way is the best. and they try to convince others to see so, and if everything doesnt go their way, out comes the weapons!

yes i admit that i support a world where eg men/women and all religions can co-exist together.

but surely there's a difference btw wanting good and evil to co-exist together?

no doubt, evil will always be there, as humans are easily tempted. that's why we shld encourage ppl to do good. as goodness is smtg that is fast-dwindling in today's world.

when i said evil, i refer to things like murders, rape etc. of coz, infidelity cud be considered as one i guess. moral standards!

the reason i dislike the guy mentioned in that post was the fact that he did it knowingly. if he was a single guy up for one nite stands, that's his problem, i wudnt judge.

but if it involves hurting another person (ie the gf), then it's a different story altogether. get what i mean? i hope this sounds coherent haha

Harry MacDowel said...

Sometimes, people hurt each other just to feel that their presence is there.

Acknowledging by detesting, is the not the way. Let's say, you live in a world which is totally homogeneous. You have a lot of different faces around you, but everyone thinks like ziyun, acts like ziyun. Everyone has the same moral standard and everyone does not cheat on another. In a world like that, i dun think one will even understand what is betrayal and what is true love. It is a world doomed to self-implosion. If we add an evolution factor into that world, sooner or later there will be someone who cheat on his/her bf/gf and doing it knowingly. I guess you would conceive this too, right?

and bout appreciating or acknowledging, it does not really matter to me. As far as we do not detest its presence, I am all right wif it. There is no human who is totally evil or totally kind. Every now and then we cross the line. Each time we cross it, we judge our mistakes coz we know our own standard. And thus slowly we will turn out a better person. If a person does not follow that path, i might say, wait a little. There's always good in evil. Believe in that person. Believe in the power of balance, coz nobody can do all evil in his life. The balance will strike back.

so what's wrong wif that person doing it knowingly? I am sure he knows it. and sooner or later he gonna regret it anyway. and what about that gal who is being hurt? i think she will look at things clearer next time and she will haf a logical judge next time when it comes to relationship. See? things balance themselves eventually. That's how balance works.

I know what you are thinking, perfectly, coz i used to think that way all the while until recently i slowly understand what is balance. well, in the end, it might just be another principle to you. ;-)

maybe i had brought in some buddha philosophies here. i never understand why Buddha will allow sins to exist and do not strive to purge them and do not strive to define them. I think now I do understand a little. It's a way of balance. The way we live our lives, is the path for us to understand the balance and in the end the goods and the evils we do sum up to nothingness, like a zero-sum game in game theory. i guess that's why Buddha said that everything is right and everything is wrong; everything that has a look is also empty on the other side.

cheers! ;-)

Zzzyun said...

you do have a point there.

but there's one thing i cant believe in - yet.

that the fact that nobody can do all evil his life. yes true, the serial rapist out there might be a filial son to his mother etc but then what abt his victims? they did not ask to be raped. who is going to help them?

you give the serial rapist another chance. let him out into society after a few yrs in jail. and what happens? he rapes again. doesnt turn over his ways at all. so whose fault was it that it happened?

as i said, there will always be evil in the world - everybody cannot be the same. so what we can do is help those who still can be helped towards goodness.

if we let the evil be, just because we need tat as balance - i fear for our planet. coz humans, if you let them have the freedom to do whatever they want, they'll be selfish and gradually lean towards evil.

i understand what you said, perfectly. its alright if the evil person will change for good later, but sometimes they dont.

thats why i believe we shld encourage more goodness. coz out of 10 ppl u encourage, goodness know (pun!) how many ppl will really listen...

Harry MacDowel said...

haha yup. and i din say i encourage evil to stay. my point is, when evil happens, it happens for a reason and it sums up to the balance. what i really mean is, we shud give that person another chance coz nobody can do all evil. that's what i believe, too.

actually, evil and good, there is no true boundary to separate them. nowadays punya rapist and ancient time punya rapist, the moral standard that holds at that time and now, is totally different. by the moral standard in today's society, how can you be actually sure that the right thing you do now might be wrong 50 years later?

instead, what shud we do is to follow the heart. if u do sth that ur heart thinks it's evil, then dun do. It is that simple.

And btw I would like to quote wz on this: there's always good for us to make and to do, becoz everytime u feel that there is one, it means u haf sinned one way or another.

and just what is sin? lol.

in the end, it's just balance, really. what is good and what is evil? that is a society's moral standard. and this standard might change drastically later on. who knows? the real way to live a happy life is to follow our heart.

cheers, again! XD

Zzzyun said...

hmm i agree on the part whr we shld follow the heart. but i think that only applies to individuals who still hv some degree of conscience. some of those criminals seemed to hv lost them along the way.

i know no one is all good. but yeah.. that is why everybody shld always strive to do good. then only we can head towards a more idealistic sort of society..

but i wonder when will tat happen..