In Comparison

Although there might be a lot of things that seemed frustrating and even annoying sometimes, I remind myself these are the things that are necessary to make the good things seem even better.

How will we appreciate the ups without the downs?

And the best way to approach these things is by thinking reflectively, in the big scheme of things, these worries will look minuscule in comparison. I know I'm a worrier by nature, but I would like to strive to become better as I grow old up.

I always tell myself: what's the meaning of life if you can't stop to smell the roses along the way and enjoy life in all its beauty?

Sense (& Sensibility)

I have been giving this topic some thought as I had the pleasure of indulging myself in quiet observation of how people went about their daily matters.

It still amazes how different people are and can be even when faced with the same situation. The interaction or clash of personalities is interesting. I hope not to be thought of arrogant but somehow as I grow up, there are things that were not evident to me before that become crystal clear now.

I'm amazed at how people that I used to think sensible can now be biased in their comments, before being set straight by another. People who I thought were superficial, immature and even vulgar as growing up, unfortunately have regressed even further. I am upset that not only the latter has not progressed, the former has even regressed.

Why are some people so unjust, so unfair and so prejudiced? Is this all the product of genetics, environment or both? I believe it to be a combination of factors (as everything always is) but I pity the people who are shallow in character because they were brought up in an environment that encouraged criticism and verbal cruelty towards another human being. Just because that human being is dependent on you for work, that does not mean you can take away even their pride as a fellow human being. Would you like to be treated that way if your very circumstances were reversed?

Confucius once said: "Do not what onto others what you would not want others to do to you." It sounds like a simple statement but it is harder than ever. Whenever you are tempted to do something that disadvantages others, think again - would you like that to happen to you in their shoes? If you believe in karma and reincarnation, then do fear the repercussions of your actions, those shoes might be reversed in another life; however, as a human, even without those beliefs, you should always try to do right by yourself and others.

Of course, I'm only human and I know I have faults too. But at least I reflect on my faults and try to be better the next time. These people - they are sunk in their ignorance and continue on without any regard for others - without any change forward. 

It is sad but it appears that common sense is not common at all.

Dr. As A Prefix And Other Things

Apologies! I have not kept to my word to blog a little more. Perhaps nowadays I prefer to live life more in the flesh and jot a word of wisdom here only whenever I fancy? (code phrase for lazy to write :P)

Anyhow, yet again, a lot had happened since my last post. I had since sat for my last exam and had passed medical school! You can add a pretty prefix of DR. to my name now with a flourish! :D Truth to be told, I still feel weird/surreal whenever I see my name with an added Dr in front in print. Doesn't seemed to be addressed to me. Perhaps it just needs to take time to sink in.

Well, my uni had a dedication ceremony for us as my convocation ceremony is actually in april next year (don't ask me why we have to go to our convocation after we had started working!) My family attended the relatively meaningful ceremony (where we took the revised oath by the way!) and took it as an opportunity to visit perth for a week.

The family trip was fun yet tiring, coz for once, I was the leader! I made the decisions (with discussion of coz, as any good leader would do) and showed the way (no small task for someone who is no good with roads)! I think my lil sis enjoyed the trip immensely. She loved the food, and was game to try most stuff. :)

In the midst of the above, I also had to move house as my lease was coming to an end. We almost couldn't get a house because it was peak season and there was a lot of competition to lease a house! If there is something I don't like about perth, it's how immensely difficult is it to lease a house!! I thought it will be easier since both of us will not be poor students soon and will be earning honest salaries. But alas, our advances were spurned thrice before we managed to obtain a really pretty new house. (hmm I think I have been reading too many Victorian style novels that I'm starting to write like them!!) 

I have a new housemate now as well as my previous housemates have either moved interstate or chose to move out solo. Anyway, I hope we will be able to make our new house into a lovely home. :) This is one of the best things I am looking forward to after graduation. (gosh, I sound like an old maid is what I would like to say, but actually as I grow up, I realised that cleaning and cooking are actually things that one needs to do to sustain oneself. you are lucky if you have someone to do it for you.) However, I am even more hopeful of a time where I will have earned enough money to have a beautiful house of my own, so I will be able to do whatever I like with my own home and not worry about inspections or putting special tape on walls so that they will not be damaged. Ah, I'm rambling again.

In conclusion, you can see from all of the above that I had definitely been keeping very very busy. I'm currently back in penang, my lovely island hometown for a well-deserved break before getting ready to break out for work as doctor!! (omgosh, how those lovely syllables roll off my tongue. :P)

By the way, did you realise that I have somehow managed to insert many brackets in this post?

I AM BACK!!

HELLO! Probably no one is reading this. But I can't believe that I have not blogged for almost TWO freaking MONTHS plus!! That is like totally insane for me.

But I do have some excuses lined up. First up was that I had been away at rural without internet (except that on my mobile) for a month so that was that. Btw did I tell you I have a really amazing time during my rural GP? There were some down parts of coz like missing my good friends, but otherwise I saw and did a lot of different stuff. There were some physical stuff that I never thought I would be able to do too! It was an awesome experience!

Anyhow, I came back and started with my last rotation in med school which was the Emergency Department! Guess what? I loved it too. I am considering it as a career choice now. :P But I haven't decided if I am able to handle those grossly deformed multitrauma cases yet as I had yet to meet one in the face, so to speak. But I love the variety and the investigative approach to finding out what's the acute problem of the patient. I think it suits my personality too. :)

Okay, I apologize for not posting for so long, coz I have been busy with many things. I am moving house at the end of this month too so have been looking for a place to live. Not my favourite activity but what's gotta be done gotta be done. Am currently applying for a place so cross your fingers that we can get it. I'm moving in with someone new as my current housemates are going elsewhere. Let's hope it will all go smoothly from here, as there were a few hitches along the way. But I am really looking forward to have a nice little place of our own now, instead of a messy student place.

I better stop rambling. As usual, one of the little motivation I'm writing this now is because I'm procrastinating again. I have an ED exam tomorrow. And my end of year exams in less than 2 weeks so I probably should be cracking out the whip. But seriously I have never felt so amotivated. Probably because there is just so much to read about that you kinda give up and decide to hang your luck on whatever knowledge you have with you now. (which by the way, always escapes by osmosis everyday!)

Okay I better focus on the exam tomorrow first. STUDY STARDEEEE!!

Live & Let Die

University is probably one of the last stages of life where the friends you make are more likely to be real and true.

Too bad, mine were taken away from me prematurely.

Seeing the photos of the people here having some fine last moments with their university friends in the months leading up to the end of medical school (finally!), I envy them. How nice it must be to have the same group of friends that you are comfortable with throughout your whole medical school.

I can't believe I'm still thinking about this now; but somehow this feeling that it was something that was not meant to be haunts me in a way that I can't quite explain. I suppose it's grieving. In hindsight, what I went through the first year here was perhaps the few stages of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

I hope I have come to the last stage because I don't really want to regress to any of the stages. With a few more months to the end of medical school, I suppose it's time for some closure.

Live and let die.

Yay~!!!

Thank the Powers To Be, I had received a job offer from Charlies in WA today! ^v^ I am so so happy and so relieved!!! Perth is where I want to be. :D

I can finally sleep in peace knowing I have a job next year! Now, I am just hoping for my good friends to get a spot in Perth too!!

Life is good! ;)

Just Me

...i have just learned how sharply and painfully difficult it is to come home to a dark, dusty and empty apartment alone at night, and knowing that the same thing is going to happen tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. it doesn’t matter how loud or filled with people the preceding hours of the day were, or even if i’m brimming with happiness as i step through the door — it is an acute and exhausting acknowledgment when i brush my teeth and get ready for bed that tonight it’s going to be just me... 

Was just reading Quaintly.net and this part of her post sums up exactly how I feel about long-distance relationships. She has managed to put her emotions into beautiful strings of words that stir up sentiments within.

I know it's gonna be hard, it is hard.

But great things are worth fighting for and we will continue holding on to the faith that one day we will be together again. And when that day comes, we will appreciate it even more, because it has not come easy for us.

One, Two And...

Round Three tomorrow. Hope?

I wonder if it's a lottery game of luck or does it really boils down to how good you have done in your studies, CV and their essay? We will see tomorrow, I suppose.

Well at least I had really tried my best. My philosophy is if you never try, you have ZERO percent chance of success. If you at least try, you still have a better chance than if you never try at all.

I have never been a compulsive email checker especially on my iPhone. But recently, I have been checking it a few times a day, hoping to find a glimmer of hope waiting for me in my email...

I must stay optimistic!

Plateau

It's funny how cynical I used to be. Not sure how different I am now actually.

But I think I really believe that optimism brings good luck. So stay optimistic!

Ironically, in another area of my life, I feel hopeful yet somewhat resigned to fate. They say there are highs and lows but I feel numb. Plateau - that's the word for it.

Do you think it can be fixed? Or does it even need fixing in the first place?

Dare I?

Am currently in my second week of psychiatry posting. Am not hating it since it's pretty cruisy, but am not loving it as well, coz it's just not my cup of tea.

I either get too emotionally involved when patients tell me their sad stories (I really feel sorry for some of them! sigh) or I get too bored with the mundaneness. The interesting moments are few and far in between and probably involves me being fearful that the patient will lash out suddenly and punch me. heh.

Well, I really should study during my free time but procrastination habits die hard. :( Am spending lots of time watching Masterchef Australia online. :P

On another note, second round of internship job allocations start tomorrow for most states. Dare I even hope?

Lacking

Seriously, consideration is a virtue that is severely lacking nowadays.

What I need to do is remind myself not to change my decision end of this year. Don't become soft or try to persuade yourself otherwise. Because some things will not change.

At least I can say I am doing pretty well in the toleration department. Good training for future years!

Pattern

Sometimes, I wish we didn't need all kinds to make a world.

Anyhow, I am sensing an underlying pattern here. It's almost as if you could put these people into a special group of their own.

Well, there is a tried and tested method - keep them at arm's length. Haven't you heard of the phrase: keep your friends close and your enemies closer?

Just kidding! My way of approach is more likely to be along the lines of "out of sight, out of mind!"

Unearthed

My winter break is inching nearer towards its end. I had spent much of this holiday just relaxing my mind and spending time with family and friends. Well, after such a frazzling 4 months, I do think this break is well-deserved. Who said 6th year is cruisy? Mine so far definitely wasn't.

Anyhow, certain events in the past few days have gotten me thinking.

For one, the power of social media cannot be underestimated nowadays. What we have in front of us are evidence and statements from both parties. We are not fools - we can make our own judgements.

I think I will stop here now for fear of repercussions. But tell me, is this the sign of a real democracy if a citizen feels scared to give his/her own opinions? What ever happened to freedom of speech?

Last but not least, recent events have stirred up a sense of patriotism in me that I thought was long dead, buried by disappointment and incredulousness at blatant lies and a lack of common sense.

I can still hope, for a better Malaysia.

WTF

Tell me if the absurdity of all of this doesn't get your blood boiling.

Normally I don't swear, but this deserves a WTF response. Add it with this: o.O

Back! (Figuratively and Literally)

Hello everyone! Gosh, it has been ONE MONTH since I posted! This has not happened...like ever! I think. Well, it is definitely a rare occurrence anyway. Not that I'm going to check all my previous posts just to verify that sentence. Ha.

Anyhow, yesh I am still alive. I have survived this very busy month! (hey I do have a valid reason why I had not posted for so long, okay!)

Internship applications are finally over!! (except for Singapore - will get down to it soon) I am definitely glad I have gotten that off my back! Was going insane over the various documents, procedures and essays that they wanted! I swear, I was so stressed that I think I looked like this -->

okay, fine. I don't think this picture is exaggerative enough. but you get the drift.

The other thing I had to contend with was a super busy general surgery posting. Long long hours, lots of stressful assignments and assessments. sigh! It's finally done too!

It has definitely been a few hectic weeks. But I'm okay. Time to get a breather. Winter break is here! And I'm home for holidays! :D

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The oddest things touch you unexpectedly sometimes.

Yesterday, on the flight, the pilot was making his usual commentary about the weather etc, then he said: "Welcome to Malaysia. And to Malaysians, welcome home."

That last part. Touched me somewhere in my heart. It was a twinge that could not be suppressed. Because I knew even though in all this familiarity that is 'home', they would still look at me suspiciously because of my skin colour. They would not judge me on merit and my hard work. At least not in the near future.

I am sad that we are not even static. But rather going backwards.

People always say we have a choice. But tell me honestly, if you had the same choice, would you make the same one we did? If you did choose to go back, I applaud you for your courage.

But please don't expect everyone to do the same thing you did. I believe that respect and courage has to be based on reality. Not ideality.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

And you. Just be grateful that you were born into the lap of luxury and had the privilege of not understanding what is poverty or being discriminated against. Don't make insensitive comments about things you don't understand.

The Small Things

Is it understandable for me to feel envious of couples who have all the time in the world to hold hands and whisper sweet nothings into each others' ears?

I don't even want sweet words. I just want to see you, hug you and share things with you as they happen; not as a summary every other night.

With my short term memory loss brain, I miss out on the small little things too. And you know, it's the small little things that matter.

What's a Synonym For 'Busy'?

Sorry guys, been pretty busy lately.

Am currently doing surgery and anaesthesia which has a total of 6 weeks and 2 weeks respectively. Already did 2 weeks of surgery and now taking a break from that with anaesthesia.

Anaesthesia is quite an interesting speciality, with lots of physiology and pharmacology! Doctors are generally nice and happy to teach. I think I learnt quite a bit in the few days we had.

Anyway, not going to write more here because I have an assessment tomorrow and I haven't finish writing up the case yet.

Btw the other reason I'm so busy is that intern applications for next year is out! So many things to do... Can you believe it? We are going to be working soon! *Gasp*

Devious

De·vi·ous

adjective /ˈdēvēəs/  Showing a skillful use of underhanded tactics to achieve goals - he's as devious as a politician needs to be - they have devious ways of making money

What a fitting word.

Past - Present - Future

Since you guys know about my short-term-memory-problem, it comes as no surprise that while attempting to write my 1st CV for intern applications (oh no?! work!), I had to look through my blog archives to find out what I did in the past. Although I think that probably counts more for long-term memory problems already.

Anyway, before we digress further, I was digging through old dusty posts to find what I want. And obviously I had to skim through a few of my posts, and I am still a little surprised to find how different my blogging style has evolved over a few years. Not only that, I am probably a very different person from that wide-eyed 19 year old girl that started her first year in university, a place away from home.

I wonder was the change for good or for bad? Maybe it's a mixture of both. Perhaps it's called growing up. As we grow up, the more responsibilities we have, the less carefree we can be. Becoming an adult is not all fun obviously, and next year we will have to take another giant leap, to finally start working!

But sometimes, I wish I can go back to those happy carefree days in imu. A time where we can all laugh freely and not worry about having to adapt so as to not appear 'weird' in front of others. 

I wonder if there will ever be one day when I won't feel the need to adapt anymore. It should become second nature. (Interestingly, it's only second nature, so whereabouts lies my first nature?)

I think change is gradual but coming. The other day, someone called me by my full name and it suddenly felt foreign to my ears. Because I have become accustomed to an abbreviated version of my name - something I did because I got tired of the repeated "sorry, didn't quite catch that" that came my way whenever I introduce myself with my full name. And how funny - just a couple of years ago, that abbreviated version sounded foreign to these very ears.

The country says we don't love her, but truth to be told, in a way, it will always be home in my mind - but because she doesn't love us enough, we have been compelled to seek greener pastures and call them home too.

Pre(ramble)

Assessment (again!!) tomorrow! Hope it goes well! *fingers and toes crossed*

It's so nice to have a 3 day week. Too bad it only happens once in a year. I heard other unis have a one week break. One week, you hear me? I AM JEALOUS.

Digressed. Yup, you can do it. Sorry I'm rambling to myself again with my pep talk. :/

You can quote me. Confidence is the stepping stone to success. :D Be confident!

Strangers, Again

How true, about the stages of a relationship.

I hope we will always stay at Stage 4. :) Let's do our best to keep it alive!

A Long Day

Today has been a very long day. 

This was how my day went:

• Started with being harassed to complete a discharge summary ASAP (hey what do you think I'm doing? twiddling my thumbs in the air? I'm doing my best here, and I don't know the patient k!)
• Multiple cannulas (which I'm happy to report, I currently have a 50% success rate now - compared to my previous 0%! the new cannulas are so difficult!)
• Various attempts to get some of my assignments done (drug charts, confusing outpatient prescriptions! and many more...) oh ya, I hvta bug my team, who are the nicest ppl ever, to help answer my various questions! sigh.
• Quick break for lunch then afternoon dermatology clinic. Sat in with a really nice doctor who taught quite a bit. That was a plus point for once. But I still find most of dermatology confusing. All of these skin lesions look the same to me!!! Clinic finished very late though so there you go, negative point there.
• Had to go to Woolies to get some household stuff. Even though it was late. argh.
• Came back home and guess what broke the camel's back, so to speak? I spotted a large cockroach overturned on its back wriggling its legs around on the kitchen floor. I really hate cockroaches coz I think they are really dirty. No, I'm not scared of them but I detest them! I usually am able to bunch up a wad of toilet paper and get rid of the small ones but this was HUGE and MOVING!! I'm not touching that!! I used the dustpan to nudge it into a plastic bag and quickly clamped it down as it's started moving frantically. Then I quickly got rid of it outside in the bin (after making sure it wouldn't be able to make a break for it but tying it up in another plastic bag!! SO THERE!!).
• And now my right hip aches. I think I'm putting more weight on it than my left while standing around. I think I'm going to get arthritis when I get older. sigh!

And here I am now, typing away, trying to get all the frustration out of my head...!! I really need a break! Too many things happening... Thank god for the super long weekend this week. pfft.

The Dusk Version

Tada! Did you notice the brand new layout of this blog?

Have been working on the new header during the last long holidays. Decided to unveil it now, just because I feel like it!

This is like the total opposite of my sunny summer-like header previously. Going for a more mysterious twilight effect with this one.

Let me know what you think, comments please!!! :D Thanks!

PS: Btw my cute lil doctor now has a stethoscope! :P

(E)motions

It's been two weeks since you left. I think I'm doing okay. How time flies. Keeping busy is keeping me from having what a patient I know would call a "pity party".

Today is the first day in a long time where I could come home early on a weekday. Been really busy recently - lots of assignments, assessments etc. The usual works. And getting used to work a pre-intern should do I suppose.

You just started work this week, congratulations, I am so proud of you. :) Work hard and take good care of yourself, for your own sake and the little patients too. I'm sure the kids will bring joy to you, even though how hard work might be. The learning curve is always steep, but you will get there.

You know, dear. I really miss you.

Without you by my side, I feel like I'm just going through the motions. Waking up everyday, going to the hospital, coming back to cook meals and rest then sleep. And it keeps repeating over and over again....

But I know one day, in the not so far future now, we will be together again. :) And I will look forward to that day.

Cut Short

I'm quite tired from trying to get my assessments/studies up to scratch after letting my mind laze around so long and trying to spend as much time as possible with the visiting bf.

Unfortunately, his visit that was supposed to be one month long (before he starts work - coz who knows when he will be free again!) is brutally cut short by inane administrators that do whatever they want and summon people without warning!!!

So thanks to them, he's going back this thursday night... having only been here for 2 weeks plus. So not only our time is cut short suddenly, he has to waste another large sum of money to get tickets back home early. argh. I wished I had spend more time with him earlier instead of putting it off to later. Now, we don't have much time left together...

And I really really can't wait for the time when there is no looming deadline to when we need to say goodbye to each other again.

Start of 6th Year

Hello! Had been back in Perth for a week or so, am quite busy as well, as I have landed into Gen Med - the most busy posting of the year. Heard that the rest of the year is relatively slack though, which is good!

Besides, I have had pretty long holidays so definitely need some revision to get back into what-is-expected-of-a-sixth-year-student-mode! Which so far made me realised, is quite a bit!

Am so much nearer to being a doctor now that senior doctors guide us to try things that we will have to do as a doctor in the near future. Had the opportunity to run a clinic with the help of a consultant this morning and it was pretty cool! Realised there are a lot of things I still do not know so need to read up more and more!

So I gotta go for now! :P

PS: The bf is visiting now so despite the busy-ness, I am still a happy girl! :D Hope we get to make more new happy memories together!

Choices

Hey, you do know that Life is full of what-ifs, right?

But you gotta remember that you live with the choices you have made in the past. There is no point in reliving past choices, especially if the present outcome is good. Coz, what's the point? I think the other what-ifs might even be a turn for the worse.

Now, looking forward, I just hope that this is the right decision.

Double-Edged

There are a lot of things in life that I have no control over, but what I do know is that, there is something that I can change - and that's me and the choices I make.

I vow to try my best to not repeat the mistakes of the past (of myself and others before me). And I have another mission as well, to save the people after me from going down the same path. I know I'm human, so I will keep on trying even though I slip sometimes.

I will try my best to be close to things that make me happy and stay away from things which only cause nothing but grief.

Hope is but a double-edged sword.

Have you ever wondered about the meaning of life? It's the things that make you feel alive that are worth living for... and right now, I think I need to find those things again.

And yes, you are right, I only blog more when I'm upset. sigh.

Hope, Pain & Gain

Life in itself is an irony, isn't it? What I learnt from life is that if there is no hope, there is no pain. 

But if there is no pain, is there no gain as well?

Really, I try to be the best of what people might hope me to be, I really do but perhaps that shall never be enough. But I have decided to tell myself, hey it's okay. As long as I have tried and done my best, I have no regrets.

Everybody has a few skeletons in their closet, but who really lets their skeletons out to get some fresh air?

I think it's time I give mine a proper resting place. If that's even possible...

Congrats To Them

Yet again, I bring good tidings with this post! Today is the day where my batchmates in my previous uni had finally graduated as doctors! :D Congratulations again! Am so proud of you guys!

Come to think of it, if I had continued to study locally instead of going overseas, perhaps today would have also been the day I could add another 2 different initials to my name.

But anyway, I know I'm passed playing the If game. No more regrets; instead, to look forward for better things to come. Remember, if you think too much, you forget how to live. That's my motto.

And hey, it will be my time to finally realise my goal in the near future too. It's not so far off now. ;) Hold on and keep on studying fighting!!

PS: A special CONGRATS to dear dear who is finally a doctor too now! ^v^

It's All Good

It's good news for all that I know. *joyous singing* I might not show it, but I'm really glad. :D

A Little Act Of Kindness

It was a cloudy weekday afternoon. With my grey stethoscope strung around my shoulders, I headed towards the cafeteria outside the hospital for a quick lunch. I met my friend over there and we had a nice chat over some economy rice, which sells really nice food for a cheap price.

Alas, when we were almost done with lunch, rain started coming down outside in heavy trickles. Being too used to the fact that Australian rain never last for long, I convinced my friend to wait it out. To our dismay, the rain only got heavier, pelting down torrents as we waited in vain. It seemed to only get worse with every passing minute.

Having waited for quite sometime, we decided that enough was enough and decided to run for it. I covered up my oxford handbook with a random piece of scrap paper, hoping to shield it from the unrelenting rain and we plunged into the heavy sheets of rain. 

An unsheltered walk that would normally take perhaps 5 minutes or so resulted in us being drenched from head to toe. With wet hair plastered to our faces and rain splotched clothes, we did not look a presentable sight.

Trying to arrange our hair and wiping off water droplets, we stepped into the lifts heading towards our respective wards. The lift filled up with people and I laughed and remarked to my friend: "We certainly don't look a pretty sight, do we?"

What happened next surprised me.

A stranger, a middle aged lady holding a red umbrella held out a couple of tissues to us and said: " Hey, here you go, wipe yourselves dry." The first response from any asian person would be to decline politely, saying it was okay.

But she insisted. "Go on, take it. You should wipe yourselves dry or you will get sick easily." Touched by her act, we accepted her offer and thanked her. With the tissues, we were able to pat dry our faces and hair in a somewhat more efficient way.

This little act of kindness showed me that there was still kindness in this world, even among strangers. This happened in a country that had a reputation of its people being self-centred. This also proved to me that assumptions and stereotyping were just that, they do not encompass everyone under one big umbrella.

It also reminds me that when patients are gratefully generous with their thanks when I take my leave, I must be doing something right. Listening is the first step for any sort of healing to take place.

The Ad that Moved Overseas Students to Tears

Thank god for the internet.

Happy Chinese New Year!

Here's to a belated Happy Chinese New Year to my readers! Paiseh, I know I have been a little sluggish/lazy in blogging in this new year. 

This CNY has been a relatively quiet one, but it's okay, I know CNY is not really so much about the angpows or the food (though I wouldn't mind more of the former of coz! :P) but it's more about family. If there's anything I learnt from being away from home during CNY for the past 2 years, it's probably this.

Treasure your family before it's too late, okay, peeps? If there's anything medicine has taught me about life, it's about the mortality of life. Life is fragile and can be taken away anytime.

So don't live with regret - make full use of your life and live every day as though it's your last!

I Want To Remember

Am currently nearing the end of my elective, with only another 2 days to go. I have been 'fortunate' to see a lot of interesting signs here - it is especially exciting when it matches what you have been reading in books - almost like meeting an old friend you once knew.

But I keep reminding myself, all these signs (usually) come at an expense to patients. I think it's important as healthcare workers to at least once in a while slip into your patients' shoes, reminding oneself that what might be routine and mundane to you is actually scary and a wholly new experience to your patient. 

When you start thinking of your patient as a real person instead of a disease waiting to be treated, then perhaps, you would be a little kinder at that difficult patient who seemed hell bent on making your life a living hell. Stop back and think, why is the patient acting this way? Is there some misunderstanding? Is there something bothering the patient? Or is there something you can help the patient with? Perhaps you might find your answer lies within those questions.

In med school, we are often taught to be 'professional', so as to provide the best (unemotional) care for our patients. It is a very real thing to get burnout from all the painful horrible things you see happening to people by being overly empathetic. But medicine is not only a science, it's also an art. And if you ask me, it's the latter that's hard to imitate. It has to come from the heart.

When does being 'professional' means being less human? I think it's still important to engage emotionally with your patient, coz with a good doctor that really cares for them, it is said patients feel almost half-healed after the encounter. However, as with all things, empathy should be doled out in moderation as well. A healthy work-life balance is essential to keep the enthusiasm for life going.

Two and a half years back, I remember what I wrote in the little box provided for each person in our batch magazine. I want to remember the reason I'm doing medicine even many years down the line. Now two and a half years later, I'm glad to say that I still remember.

Let's hope I would be able to sustain these thoughts for a long time more.

I'm Still Here :P

Hi guys! Don't worry, I'm still alive! This must have been the longest I haven't blog in a stretch, especially when there are no exams looming around.

Anyway, I am currently in my 3rd week of electives in Singapore, I'd just finished 2 weeks of Emergency Medicine, which was really an eye-opening experience. Today I just started in General Medicine which has a more set schedule compared to the former. But I do like it when I can control my own time :P

If there's any recurrent theme to my elective experience so far, is the massive amount of knowledge I still don't know. le sigh. Don't even need to mention about retaining the knowledge previously learnt. >.<

I need to study... but I feel so lazy. This will be the last of awesome proper holidays. Singapore is great, I feel it's like a representation of what Malaysia could be. 'Could' is the all important keyword here. It shows that it has potential but lack the ability. Do you think it will change in the not-so-near future? One can only hope.

Anyway, I think I'm digressing here. One of the reasons I haven't blogged in sucha long time is that I have been busy (what else is new?) meeting up with friends. It's certainly nice to see old friends. Maybe it's because I have a life for once too. :P Oh and a lot of time spent travelling around as well. Been trying to figure out the public transport system of Singapore.

That's about it. Is this considered a dry update? Perhaps. But I have not been getting enough beauty sleep. *grumble mumble* :P

And yeah, I hope 2011 will prove to be an awesome year! My last year of med school. Gotta make it count. :D