Wrestling with inner demons is never an easy task. Not one that can be vanquished in the snap of fingers. It takes time.. long perseverance. An aspect that I still haven't been able to happily brag that I acquire.
Anyway, here's the scoop of the
year week. The fault that I had accused others of having in this post, only the other day, I was enlightened to that fact that I am guilty of the very same thing myself. I'm sucha hypocrite, ain't I?
Yeah, apparently, I'm quite a scrawny whiner myself in my very own way. Well, I've always been one to do things different from the herd, huh? Anyway, what she say is true, come to think of it, (although the sudden frankness of it practically took my breath away, I was stunned for quite sometime).
This has suddenly reminded me of some books that I read in my childhood. Some of you might have rmb reading stories of "Elizabeth - The Naughtiest Girl in The School" by Enid Blyton. She was a headstrong girl, but at one part, she was enlightened to the fact that it takes courage to admit one is wrong, and it takes lots of determination to change for the better.
Well, thinking back, what she say is very true. [yes, I really appreciate your honesty, only a true fren would tell you when you're wrong, right? Thanks.] Funny how the morals of a childhood tale can come back to haunt us, eh?
Well, I do have the courage to admit I'm wrong. I wonder if I have the determination to change? That remains to see.
However, it still is hard at times. Suddenly, you feel a bit more ALONE in this lonely world, when before this, you thought you could alwix count on good frenz to be your moral-cheerleading squad in dark times. (those who still have the luxury to depend on your parents, enjoy it for as long as it lasts, maybe you'll understand more then)
Sometimes, I wonder. Who can I turn to? Someone that won't think that I'm just some troublesome person who whines a lot abt stupid stuff. *looks around and sees no one* [btw I'm definitely allowed to whine on my blog, coz no one put a gun to your head and force you to read okay]
I need someone that I can talk to without any restraint. Just totally baring my soul. Who is that angel that can lend me his/her shoulder to cry upon? *Sigh*
I can see that it's not gonna be easy, in fact, more like an uphill marching task. SOS signals seemed to be emitting from my brain, I dunno why.
Well, as another fren said, we all wish to be someone that brings life and smiles to others, but by being a whiner, I'm doing the exact opposite. I'll be sucking the life out of others. And do more of that, and people will start avoiding you like the plague. yeah.
Alright, I dunno what to write anymore. The rest I'll just leave it to ferment in my scrawny shrivelling brain. Besides, if I start whining too much in my blog, I just might scare my readers away, huh?