It's weird... but standing from the outsiders' point of view, everything seemed to became crystal clear.
It was as though I was seeing a mirror of myself.
Was I like that? Am I still like that?
I might be a lot of things but a hypocrite, I hope I am not.
Now there is this tiny gnawing worry that it was partially my fault. Maybe it was because I wasn't a better role model.
But I guess sometimes, in this world, whatever influences you might have on you while you are growing up, ultimately, it still depends on your own self to determine what sort of person you will become.
I am still afraid that I might accidentally lapse into my old habit again. The past few days have been relatively peaceful but then my strength and willpower in this has not yet been sorely tested.
We shall see.
Is this what growing up is about? It sure ain't as fun as it's all made out to be.