First Week

My first week back here has almost gone past. Pretty busy! So far, I'm feeling pretty okay, I seemed to have slipped back into life here easily as well. It is starting to feel familiar.

What that I haven't gotten used to is trying to study though. Procastinating tons. aihs. And my current skin condition doesn't make things easy.

yeah, you're right, I think I have heat urticaria. :( It was the same last year summer and it's back now with a vengeance! Erythematous (that's red for you non-meddies out there), pruritic (itchy) urticaria (wheals) over the sun exposed areas on my body. Which are arms, neck and face. They feel like parchment sometimes. argh.

5th Year - Start

Hi again, guys. Been trying to update but the heat's getting to me. You know how when it gets really super hot here, all you just wanna do is lie in bed and not move at all. I'm not kidding. It's worse this year.

Anyway, I'm updating today because the weather is slightly kinder today and I feel better. I hope the weather keeps going down to a reasonable temperature. Or I won't feel like studying much, which is bad.

This gets me to the next thing I was going to talk about. Guess what rotation I am in now? Obstetrics and Gynaecology! O&G for short. We are currently in 3rd day of introduction (tomorrow is the last day) and just received our timetables on monday. And I must say, it's really crazily packed! omg.

There will be times where I'll hvta do night shifts or weekends as well. T____T Haha I expect I might be blogging less when things get hectic. Anyway, O&G seems pretty exciting and interesting so far. Lots of totally new things. Need to study soon aihs.

And maybe 5th year is really different. We are expected to be a more active part of the team. According to some of the teachers, we might be expected to make code blue calls (it's not such an easy task as well!), take histories, cannulate and take blood etc. Ie no more stepping backward to not be in the way but instead, to move forward and ask how we can help. yikes!

It's definitely gonna be a tough year, I foresee. But hey this time around, the unbelonging-ness actually feels familiar. oh yeah.

Back To Perth

I'm tired so shall keep this short. Arrived in Perth early this morning. First thing I noticed is: it's so damn hot! Over 40 degrees. o.O

Spent quite a bit of the day cleaning room and house. Not forgetting market-ing and grocery shopping. aihs. Still not yet finish cleaning. Shall continue tomorrow. =/

While walking around today, the surroundings felt familiar yet so unfamiliar this time around. The irony.

Met some of the juniors for dinner. See how nice seniors we are? ;)

Anyway, 5th year starts tomorrow. And I'm so not ready.

Versus

Compare this:-

home. family. good ol' malaysian food. best friends. familiar faces in the street. mum's delicious home cooked food. being with him. reminizing over old times. -lahs and -mahs. no worries. familiar accents and dialects. mamak with maggi goreng tambah telur mata kerbau. delightful shopping. manglish. no need to convert and save. meet-ups. feeling that i belong. here.

With this:-

away. from everybody. fickle temperatures. stressful studies. freedom. self-sufficient. the need to pinch pennies. unfamiliar diverse faces everywhere. need to be independent. alone. enjoy cooking most of the time. hoping to hear a familiar voice in strangers. reminding self to speak proper english. cultural differences. unable to shake off the feeling that i do not belong. here.

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"I'm leaving on a jetplane. Don't know when I'll be back again..."

Not Backwards I Hope

Many Malaysian bloggers are currently jumping on the bandwagon and churning out their own views on the recent issue of the burning of churches + convent school  in protest of Christians using the word 'Allah' in references to God.

I am neither a Muslim or Christian, so in this case, I'm unbiased.

However, I do not protest to be an expert in either matters. Therefore, I shall hesitate to give my two cents worth on this matter, but would like my readers to please have a look at my friend's post here. I found it rather interesting.

And really, since eons ago, there has always been bloodshed over religion/race/[insert whatever difference you can think of].

Only fools repeat mistakes in history. We really have to clear our minds and think: Is this the direction that we really want to head in?

PS: An extra link for interest's sake. Click here.

For That That's Worth It

Human relationships can be such beautiful yet fragile things.

It takes time, effort and love to make one work. It encompasses all sorts of relationships - those between family members, lovers, friends, work colleagues, even the homeless man outside your house who you often give small change to. What's frightening is the fact that how easy an apparently strong relationship can break with a misunderstanding, a spatter of misplaced words uttered out of rage.

I realised if there is anything worth investing your time into, it's your relationships.

This year - continuting last year's effort - I will try my best to maintain (or improve if possible!) my relationships with my family, friends and dear dear of course. :)

Of coz, not forgetting, I must put in more effort into my studies!! I feel like I've not been up to my best last year. Possibly distracted by emo feelings. Shall try not to be affected too much this time around. Afterall, I've been through it before, right. Right?

I really hope this year will be a year that I will come to total accepting terms that I'm already a young adult, studying medicine in a faraway place, far from everything that I hold close to heart.

Can I do it?

Blame It On The Pop

Heard this over the radio the other day. And then found it online.

This is probably the BEST song of 2009. A mishmash of the hottest songs of 09 by DJ Earworm.

Awesome! I *hearts* it!!

Below are the list of songs that he used.

• The Black Eyed Peas - BOOM BOOM POW
• Lady Gaga - POKER FACE
• Lady Gaga Featuring Colby O’Donis - JUST DANCE
• The Black Eyed Peas - I GOTTA FEELING
• Taylor Swift - LOVE STORY
• Flo Rida - RIGHT ROUND
• Jason Mraz - I’M YOURS
•  Beyonce - SINGLE LADIES (PUT A RING ON IT)
• Kanye West - HEARTLESS
• The All-American Rejects - GIVES YOU HELL
• Taylor Swift - YOU BELONG WITH ME
• T.I. Featuring Justin Timberlake - DEAD AND GONE
• The Fray - YOU FOUND ME
• Kings Of Leon - USE SOMEBODY
• Keri Hilson Featuring Kanye West & Ne-Yo - KNOCK YOU DOWN
• Jamie Foxx Featuring T-Pain - BLAME IT
• Pitbull - I KNOW YOU WANT ME (CALLE OCHO)
• T.I. Featuring Rihanna - LIVE YOUR LIFE
• Soulja Boy Tell ‘em Featuring Sammie - KISS ME THRU THE PHONE
• Jay Sean Featuring Lil Wayne - DOWN
• Miley Cyrus - THE CLIMB
• Drake - BEST I EVER HAD
• Kelly Clarkson - MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU
• Beyonce - HALO
• Katy Perry - HOT N COLD

PS: Here is the official site to download the song. I found that a lot of people have been googling for it. Enjoy!

Cheers Towards A Better Year

With 光良品冠/Guang Liang Pin Guan's songs blaring on the background and a malfunctioning mouse, I will now attempt to write this post.

This will be the first post of 2010 and so far things have being going good. Spent a day mooning around Sunway with the bf. I love that place! Miss it so much! <3

Anyway, as usual lets have a look at the previous year's resolutions. (wow it seems weird to refer 2009 as previous year!)

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Do well in clinical school. Pass exams. Procure more knowledge. Adapt to life in Perth. Make new friends. Keep in contact with the old ones. Be independent. Eat healthily. Exercise more. Spend less. Be more patient. My loved ones are safe and happy. Be less petty. More tolerant of others. Procastinate less. Maintain my relationship well with dear despite being in a LDR. And of coz, the most important of all, BE HAPPY!

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I'm happy to report that I've managed to complete most of them to my satisfaction. :) But there is always room for improvement of course. However, I really dunno about the last one. Can I say I was generally happy the past year?

It was certainly a busy year, definitely a year of ups and downs. It was the first time I have to live a life away from everything I have ever known in a foreign country, filled with strange people emersed in a totally different culture.

Everything was really new to me then. It certainly took me time to adapt but I guess, after sometime, I finally got used to being on my own. I was really happy when dear dear came to visit me for a month. Everything just seemed to fall into its rightful place. It was nice being with him, and doing everything on our own! We especially enjoyed cooking! :)

I really can't confidently say I was very happy during 2009 but hey, it could always have been worse.

Maybe it was a more neutral sort of happiness in the small simple things in life. The happiness in being alive, in it being a new day, walking home humming a simple song, looking at the beauty of the sunset. That's being happy as well, isn't it?

And I think things are looking up. slowly.

Well, I won't write any real resolutions this year, maybe something along the lines of the above will do. What that is really important is that we gotta live life the best way we know. My motto in life.

Continue to fight for what we believe in. That dreams will come true if we work fervently towards achieving them. Hoping that everyone we love is happy.

Wishing everyone a blissful happy 2010! ^v^

Happy 2010

Happy New Year to all my readers and everybody I know! ^v^

Yesh, I am currently taking a peaceful break at home despite it being new year eve which normally would call for a celebratory countdown. :P

I guess this is what growing old does to you. lol. I know I've been procastinating about blogging lately (sorry!) and my posts have been brief and slow to come. I promise better material when I'm back in perth with less interesting things to occupy my time.

For now, a peaceful night with a loved one is a great way to welcome the new year. :) I'll definitely try to squeeze in a reflective piece about 2009. It certainly has been different, if anything.

That's all for now. Take care, peeps and wish everyone a great year ahead!

@Batu Pahat

Greetings abound from a place called Batu Pahat! I would like to wish all my readers a MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)

I know I haven't been blogging much recently - well nothing of any special concern has been happening recently anyway! - so what do you expect me to write about right?

Okay, for those wondering, Batu Pahat is in the state Johor and the only reason some friends and I are down here is that we're visiting a friend. I must say, some parts are pretty ulu but some parts are pretty modern. Kinda like Penang actually haha.

I really dunno what else to write now. I really have become boring like that, especially during holidays. I should stop rambling now. Feel sleepy again. bleh.

Right. Have a great day, peeps and we are almost ready for a brand new year soon! ^v^

Sleepy In Seremban

I'm writing this post in Seremban. Yup, I'm down to visit my friends for a few weeks before heading back to penang again!

I dunno why, but these few days, I feel so sleepy. Despite doing so little these days. Mentally or physically.

I didn't sleep so much then when I was in Perth. Despite being so busy and tired. Why am I like a pig now??

Haha okay, I don't think I'm making much sense blogging when I'm sleepy. Zzz...

Enjoy this video for now then! :)

Poker-face

A Year Later

I'm just back from a meet up with some of the penang imu peeps. :)

It makes me smile that things haven't change that much even though a span of a year has passed. We are still largely the same ppl as before.

And we are still able to talk crap freely like last time. Without forgetting to update each other on recent events, experiences and gossip of course! :P

This gives me hope that maybe, just maybe someday I'll be able to find something similar again in the future.

Until then, I gotta learn to be tougher and independent physically (haha exercise more?) and more importantly, mentally as well.

Maybe this is part of growing up.

Back From Trip

I'm back! For those who might have wondered about me missing in cyberspace the past 3 days. :P

Was on a 4D3N family trip to cameron highlands. The trip was ok I guess, despite a few mishaps. Must learn tolerance more.

Anyway, I went trigger happy with all the plants. Especially flowers. Love macro mode hehe. I shall post up some of the nicer photos maybe later. I feel lazy now. bleh.

And yesh, I miss the internet.

Of Distraction And Vampires

It still amazes me that however good I thought I had hide what I wanted to say by distracting you with some other whimsical thing, you still managed to know by the tone of my voice. And I thought my conversation skills are good. So much for that. lol.

Maybe it's because you know me so well. I wonder if there will come a day that you will know me better than I know myself?

In the idleness of recent times, my mind wanders to the future, wondering how it will be like for us.

Will it follow the examples of others who had blazed the path before us? A set of unfortunate circumstances leading to an undesirable ending.

Or will it be a story worth remembering and retold countless times? Filled with memories of the good and bad times, together.

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I was curious about the big hoo-haa about vampires since the release of the movie Twilight and the recent one, New Moon.

I mean, girls were going gaga over the guy. There must be a reason, right? I heard on the radio one day in aussie, they were saying a certain number of girlfriends have dumped their boyfriends after watching/reading said movie/book. A bit the drama queen, no?

The reason they gave was that they find their bfs to be nothing like the vampires, none of their strength or manliness or [insert some positive unhuman attribute]. *raised eyebrow*

However, I ceased to pass judgement before watching the movie. After having watched the first, I'm happy to say I've not jumped on the bandwagon of vampire love - thank goodness. But I guess I can see the attractiveness of escapism it offers to some girls out there.

But why would a girl want to be a vampire? Beats me. She was practically begging him to turn her into one. I find that kinda creepy.

And seriously, you want a boyfriend that is a vampire that wants to suck your blood all the time, who will never grow old (you will be a wrinkly old hag while he will still be a young man!) and glitters in the sun?? wtf is that. lol.

Haha I think I better stop here now. Or else I'm definitely going to get flamed by vampire lovers. woops. :P

Weary

Sometimes I feel weary. For no reason. Or is the reason deep down in my subconscious that I'm unable to grasp it?

Why do I still need to keep reminding myself how lucky I am and that I should appreciate what I have? Instead of being selfish and wanting more.

Perhaps that is just human nature.

We are never content with what we have and keep searching for more.

At Leisure

I have always had the leisure of thought during the holidays to admire the fact that humans are ironic creatures.

Nowadays, one finds it hard to fill the time with meaningful pursuits. All I do these days is sleep, eat, read storybooks, watch Beyond The Realm Of Conscience, 宫心计 while praying the internet holds up (which it normally doesn't) and surf the world wide web.

Doesn't sound very interesting or adventurous, does it? I will probably be a pig at the end of these holidays! Gone are the hard work over the weekly jogging sessions the past few months =/

Too bad indeed. I would like to have done some travelling too. The world is so wide and so many things to see and explore! But all things need $$$. Can't wait to earn some of my own!!

Before I digress even further, the ironicity I was refering to is the fact that one always wants one doesn't have at the moment. The grass is always greener on the other side, ain't it?

When one is busy with work, one can't wait for holidays. When one has long holidays to indulge in, the idle mind wanders so and could well do with some mental work.

Haha yeah I know I could do some studying.. but alas, the flesh is willing but the mind is weak. :P I need some mental stimulation to start me off.

I remember when I was doing gen med, sometimes the busy-ness of the routine and the sleep/energy depreviation makes one unwilling to wake up and go to the hospital. However, I will still force myself to go.

But once I step into the hospital and see the patients and talk to them, it is as though by magic - all the unwillingness melts away. I feel alive and interested! Gosh. So many things to know and learn! Of coz, a good doctor who is willing to teach makes things even better. :)

Anyway, it's now been about a month since I was back. And I have hardly achieved much in this time. Oh, I guess learning how to do some graphics design and reading books is something in itself.

I wonder what the future holds.

PS: My mind is jumping from one thing to another in this post, isn't it? lol. Btw do check out the cute footer I added a few days ago at the lowest part of my blog. :)

The Juxtapose Of Absence

I would like to write everything here. In clear chilling clarity. But I must not. I can't.

All these emotions. All these feelings that are gurgling out. Who can I tell them to? I would like to tell it to somebody who I can trust. Somebody who will be sympathetic. Somebody who will understand.

Once again, I'm reminded of all those fervent feelings I had, maybe not so long ago. But they felt distant till that very moment. But one thing I learnt was - old habits die hard.

I blamed myself for letting my guard down. For softening my heart. Absence might make the heart grow fonder, but presence brings back all that it will never be.

It alarms me indeed that once again, I have to turn to my old trusty diary to dispel of all those emotions. That was what writing does to me. It soothes and relieves. And when I reread my new entry, the handwriting had become more ugly, certainly; the wording perhaps more mature but the content essentially the same.

Had things not changed at all? In all the span of these years?

I thought I was going forward. One has got to keep on moving. It strikes a fear in me that I am still at a standstill.

But no fear. 忍 is a strong word. A hard word. But I have come so far - I cannot fail.

One day, I will be able to make decisions for myself.

Happie Burfday

Happy 23rd Birthday, Sue Wen!! :)

Here are the video(s) that is her birthday present this year, as she is far away from us. In a land called Perth.

the funny. hilarious~

the touching. T_T

I hope you enjoyed your birthday this year. Wish you all the best to come! Take care, dear friend!

Blog Makeover

TADA! Greetings from a brand new place!! This was the cool thing that I said I was going to unveil at my blog soon. Had a bit of a delay due to internet connection problems.

So how do you guys like the new header and other stuff I added to the blog?

And this time, I'm proud to say - I did all of this from scratch!! I have been learning how to use the Adobe Illustrator program (a computer graphics vector drawing program) and this is my first masterpiece.

Many thanks to Khee Chun for teaching me the basics and your constructive cricitism as well. You are indeed a sifu difficult to please. haha. Thanks to Kee also for giving comments and encouragement. :)

I really spent many many hours labouring over this. days. Twinkering this and that. But I'm happy with the result. ^v^

As you guys probably noticed, I have changed from a gothic theme to something more cheery and bright. Decided I needed to see something that will brighten up my day the next few years when I load my blogpage. As I'm sure the next few years of medicine will be of a daunting and difficult nature ahead for me. Something to remind me that to keep on hoping and to make medicine your friend, not your enemy. (these last few words sound familiar eh! quoted from a famous lec in imu :P)

Okay, that's all for now. I need constructive critcism please! Will still make modifications if needed :)

Would You?

Something interesting to consider.

Would you help that man on the street?