Me, A Failure? I Really Wonder...

Totally shld be studying or doing PBL now but feel too depressed to do either. :(

Why? For once, I've a valid reason. Okay, fine. I failed my CPR. Seriously, I freaking can't believe it!! *sobs*

Okay, this may sound arrogant or conceited, but normally failing doesn't happen to ME. Although I procastinate often and is a lazy pig when it comes to studying, I do pay attention in class and I study like a mad fool when it's near exams. I'm a good student! I really am.. [Trying to convince myself that I'm one.. okay, maybe 'was' would be a better word.] So normally I pass (or do better than pass).

I must be too arrogant for my own good. [Am I??] Heck, this is like some power-above shoving into my face, telling me: "Heck, you're not smart, AT ALL. So quit pretending to be one, and work harder, idiot!"

I feel really angry with myself. I've not been studying seriously this sem and now I'm gonna pay the price. I'm in deep shit and very worried. *hugest deepest sigh one can muster*

Yeah, yeah, the other ppl who passed are gonna say: "Aiya, this is just CPR exam whut, small thing only, right?" while patting you on your back, thinking that they are making things better, while actually deep inside they are feeling a small twinge of superiority coz they passed and you didn't. (Don't you dare say I'm wrong! *huff*) Btw, this only applies to those who are insincere in giving sympathy. Thank you, to my frenz, who did make me feel better.

The rumour flying around is that the admin randomly choses some ppl to fail so that they can earn some extra moolah ($$$) from the resit. But I don't think so. It's quite a far-fetched theory, isn't it? Although it's surprisingly weird that some very smart ppl (nah, I'm so not) also failed. But still... It's just an excuse to make us feel better, isn't it? Gah!!

The resit is next monday, after my summative. So that means I won't be able to study for the resit either as I can't finish what I'm supposed to study for my sum 1!!! :( I'm totally paying the price of playing the fool the past few weeks. Damnit!! I am gonna fail my sum 1 too, I can feel it in my bones!! *arggh*

I'm so letting my parents down. I shouldn't. I'm such a loser. I've disappointed their hopes in me. :'( Feel so guilty. Really feel like crying..

Why was I taking things lightly? Thinking everything will be fine in the end.. It is so not.

Whatever. It's a very effective wake-up call!! Now, it's really time to get things in hand. [Remind me why am I doing this course again? Aikz.]

Time to get down and STUDY!!

PS: Ok, really not thinking straight. Sorry if I offended anyone with this post. I'm not in the best of mood, quite furious with myself for being an idiot. Congrats to those who passed, and "sigh, we share the same fate" to those who failed. Aikz. Okay, maybe I'm making a mountain out of a molehill, but I don't care! Let me rant pls~