Thursday, March 15, 2007

Figurately Sick

Sometimes I absolutely HATE myself.

There's this character flaw in me that I can't cant seemed to change a tiny bit. Even tho I'm rather aware of it.

You see, I have this terrible tendency to blurt things out without thinking. Stupid stupid stupid! *slaps self* Altho most of those things I say are true, but the tone which I used to say it, it's just not good! Why do I always sound sarcastic when I don't mean it...

My brain just can't seem to process speech abt whether it's approriate to say it onot at that certain time, certain place with the certain ppl around you. Why why why? I really dunno.

I'm really getting sick of this. Sick of myself.

Ppl always misunderstood me, they always think that I'm being sarcastic when sometimes what I wanna do is no more than state the truth. That's all. No hidden meaning behind my words.

And who is to blame? Myself. I should say things appropriately. I should convey whatever meaning I want correctly. And not get too caught up in the situation and say wrong silly things.

Why am I emo-ing at a time like this? I'm having respi exam tmr too (and it's a bleak situation there too! sigh).

Coz I just did that stupid silly mistake again just now. Yes, again.

When will I ever change?

It's true, character is hard to change. I'm so sick of myself now. *shyt*

PS: Pls don't be surprised if I talk lesser in the near future ya. Since I can't talk appropriately, might as well cut down on speech. I'm so afraid of making others unhappy just becoz I said the wrong things.


Anonymous said...

Hey Zi Yun,
Just dropping by after completing my Nursing Week report.
Don't be too harsh on yourself k, I know that you're a good person and never intend to hurt the feelings of others.
That's why I seldom speak out in front of others, it's the fear of saying something wrong that is always holding me back.
Anyways, be yourself girl- it is healthy to voice one's opinions although yes, you're right, we need to do it in a suitable and non-offensive way. Then again, I'm sure you've been doing that :)
You're a kind and caring person who just wants to comfort her friends and be there for them. So no, don't change who you are.


Zzzyun said...

ooo. thks for ur comment. im touched. =)

well, i guess u do not know that i DO hav the tendency to say the wrong things at the more impropriate times. blek.

as u said, voicing out one's opinions is healthy. but i really need to learn how to do that in a suitable and non-offensive way. sigh

just gotta slowly change that flaw abt myself. yeah.