Friday, September 26, 2008

Those Shoes

I've finally found a way to motivate myself to not procrastinate so much and at least study a bit this hols. Guess what it is?

Having accidentally stumble upon this page showing a list of Malaysian doctors who blog and being kaypo curious as usual, I started reading a few.

These doctors are my inspiration to keep on reading. You never know when that tiny nugget of information is gonna save someone's life.

Here are some of the recommended reads that I'm hooked on to.

And boy, their posts about life in medicine really did opened up my eyes.

Resuscitating patients umpteen times a night, patients seizing or going into cardiac arrest left and right, emergency caesereans, oncology patients who are just way too young to die...and lots more.

I hungrily read on, devouring them as though as I'd been starved for days - the cases were heartwrenching, touching, even at times funny, but they were all real.

They had left a profound impact on me, giving me real insight into life as a doctor.

Who knows the immense fatigue from working 36 hours straight, the rush of adrenaline of attending to cases all popping up demanding your immediate attention, the fear of not knowing what to do for a patient dying right before your eyes... except those who had been in those very shoes themselves.

Shoes that I probably would be wearing in a few years' time, with a little luck and lots of hard work, tears and sweat.

Can one not help but feel a little scared?

Am I up to the responsibility? Do I even have the ability to do all that?

I pray that my next few years in medical school will serve me well so that I would be able to do all that and maybe more.

For me, but even more for my future patients.


Darren Lee said...

Yeah i'm on the list =D
Ya realizing this early is good..what i think is, a responsible doc should never stop learning!
But, dun forget to enjoy ur holiday la..=)

Zzzyun said...

yeah life-long learning is a concept that has been drilled into us since our days in imu, hasnt it? :P

i think the realisation is deep inside us most of the time, it takes a lot to finally uncover it.

but i shall try my best. 1 step at a time. and dont worry, i will definitely be still enjoying my hols =D

lynnx01 said...

Thanks for this post, I think I shall be inspired as well. Been losing my passion recently..

Zzzyun said...

ooo it's easy to lose ur passion when it's only studying.. i shld know, i hv been thru all that..

but once u start clinicals, i think everything changes. we will be seeing real people with real stories..

i cant wait to start my clinicals!!