Ways To Entertain Prank Callers

Since I'm going to be torn away from the digital world soon [Sigh, I think I'm going to suffer from Internet Withdrawal Syndrome leh!!], let me entertain you with some of my trademark tongue-in-cheek posts, okay? :P

Here goes:-

As you can see from the title, today we're going to talk about prank callers. Have been getting a few of that sometime ago at home. It was kinda annoying coz when you answer the phone (they especially like calling at unsuitable moments), they will just breathe in the background and then hang up sometime later.

Very funny. Not.

So I'd like to recommend a few ways to "entertain" them since they have nothing better to do anyway. Except waste breathing space. Ha.

Ok, this only works if you've caller ID on your home's phone line, or else you might ended up talking crap to someone else. :P

What you shld say when you pick up the prank caller's call:

1. In a chirpy voice: Good morning. Welcome to [insert name]'s funeral home. To order an adult-sized coffin, press 1; to order a child-sized coffin, press 2; to order a specially-made-for-you coffin, press 3. As you're deciding which button to press with your pea-sized brain, let me tell you about our current special offer. If you buy 2 coffins, we'll throw in the 3rd for free! We also have various religious services' contact numbers, we'll be happy to arrange everything for you. So, when will you be dead? I just can't wait~! :D

2. [Insert name]'s Fire station. How may I help you? What? There is no fire?! Ok, I'll solve that problem for you. Let me give you a hand with that match.

3. [Insert name]'s Police station. Ahhhh, yes. You must be the one who said he'll call and surrender himself in for murder at this time. Don't worry, I'll be tracing your call and picking you up in a jiffy. Getting shaved? No problemo, bring on the barbers! :D

4. Hell-o! (Pun intended). You've reached Hell's Operator Service. How may we help you? We've a total of 18 floors of various punishments. Which floor you go to depends on your sins in life. Since I've figured out that you're a prank caller, you'll go to the 18th level. No excuses, no Qs. I'll be beaming you down to join us soon. Till then, cya!

5. Insane HouseWife: Ahem. Why aren't you home yet, you freaking bastard? Must be going out with some chick hor? I swear I'll kill you when you get home!! @#%^%$&!

6. Speaks in Hokkien Dialect, by Mafia boss: What? Want to pia-tin ah? When? What do you mean you don't understand?? Wah tok lu ah! [I chop you ah!]

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What do you think? Original or creative enough? :P I can't think of anymore la... 6 ideas is not bad ade leh, you try to think of one and see... Hehe.

Come on, don't be shy, comment pls! :D