Need

Zzzyun, sometimes you are still too honest.

When will you ever learn to hide your own emotions/feelings from others? Come to think of it, do we even need to in the first place?

I dislike people who make assumptions about you based on their own. I'm not you and you are not me, so don't assume.

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Sometimes, I wonder am I being too greedy. Isn't it enough that I have a loving boyfriend who supports and listens to all my troubles?

Why do I have this (almost pathological) need to have a friend who will still be best friends with me even though we are not physically near to each other anymore? Is that so wrong for me to wish for that? All I can say it wasn't from lack of trying.

And you, who said you always miss and remember me. You were the one who put me in this situation today. So stop all the sweet lies coz I don't want to hear anymore.

I'm being all emotional. Must be the hormones. Must be the hormones. Repeat to self x100. Blame it all on the hormones, yeah okay?

In Between

Finished my opthalmology exam today! It's good expecting the worst (ie. can't answer every Q!) so I felt quite okay even though couldn't answer a few questions/got them wrong. Oh well, can't really be fussed about it coz I don't really fancy opthalmology in the first place.

I wonder if this is what happens when you have been through countless exams? But I still have tachycardia (increased heart rate for the non-meddies) prior to the exam haha.

Tomorrow I will be having my general practice exam which consist of a 15 minute consultation that is videotaped. Hmm... hope I dont get too nervous and will be able to perform at my best.

Practice really does help. Okay, time to study for my exam!! Wish me luck~ :)

PS: I have recovered from my relatively mild viral illness! :D The flu vaccine must have helped!

Bad Timing

Recently, I will start my posts by apologizing about the lack of updates. However, this time I have an excuse.

I'm sick!! :(( Should be a viral illness.

And exams are coming soon in the next few days. GP+Opthalmology. Bad timing. But gotta say, the paracetamol is good stuff. Makes me feel so much better.

Being sick makes me wish there was someone here to take care of me. Suddenly made me remembered the time when dear took good care of me when I had severe food poisoning. (yesh from hospital food!! yucks) I don't think I look very pretty then haha... Recurrent vomiting tend to make you look gross lol. Oh and he was still just a friend then. so caring right? ;)

Okay, I'm signing off for some studying and recuperation. Will update more when I'm feeling better!

Along The Way

Oh noes, it's the beginning of another week. I'm too lazy busy to blog so regularly.

Well, today I had another go with the patient consultation coz there were so many ppl who didnt attend today. This week's theme was Difficult Patients.

I had to do motivational interviewing with a diabetic lady and encourage weight loss. So not easy at all. :( I did the best I could, but all the way through the consultation, I could feel her resistance and I was racking my brains to find the words to break through the resistance and motivate her.

And we had already a day of teaching and practice last thursday for motivational interviewing specifically. But once I am the one who has to do the consult in front of everyone, I panic... and my mind becomes slow and fuzzy.

Anyhow, I think I still did okay (as in I didn't look particularly stupid in front of my colleagues), even though I did not really manage to get her to the contemplative phase. But I did my best. The doctor observing thought it was alright too. phiew.

Well, gonna continue improving. I shall get there someday. Believing in myself really did help.

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We had a free yoga class today! :D So nice of the uni ppl to organize one for us. It was a relaxation and restorative sort of yoga. Just great for us who are stressed out!

I might try it out sometime when there's a night I can't fall asleep easily or if I'm super stressed with studies (which I dare say I will). I found the meditation part quite useful - it relaxes my mind, freeing it temporarily from all its worries.

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Can't believe it's august already. And the 2nd last week of my GP/Opthal term. That means exams are next week!! Omgosh, I better get down to studying now!!

I Can

Even though I can't be as good as them in communication skills (at least not yet), I should be competing only with myself to keep on improving.

It's important to believe that I can do it. That's half the battle won.

I must remember how I tried to muster any semblance of self-confidence in last year's exam. Cause I'm definitely going to need it this time around.

Believe in myself. yes.

Oxymoron: The Naive Cynic

It's ironically funny how I used to be such a cynic, and now I find myself appalled at the naivety within myself.

Really, at this stage of my life, I shouldn't be so surprised anymore at things like this. I thought I knew how things work, at least the big picture concept of it. But sometimes, hope gives rise to unnecessary idealistic thoughts.

I can see why people keep their heart guarded by imaginary walls. Just because it is such a dark scary world out there, and the best thing you can do is to protect your heart from getting hurt.

I know, I said before, I would like to be honest with people, with a true self as I can muster. That I do believe in, cause if you never let anybody into your heart at all, what's the meaning of living then?

But sometimes, you have to take a step back and think - is this person worth it? - before opening your heart to people.

Cause there are just too many people out there who are not worth it at all.

In The Air

I feel the days are passing too fast for my liking. Swoosh, and it's tuesday night already.

And the cycle continues every week. With endless list of things to attend, prepare and study for. :< I was feeling kinda stressed last night because was having some unforeseen trouble with my assignments. I even went for a jog even though I already did 2 in the past 4 days because I thought some exercise would do me good in terms of destressing. It did helped a bit, I guess post-exercise endorphins would be a good addiction!

I can't believe the anxiety was still lurking beneath the surface though, affecting my sleep. Made me woke up several times last night, wondering whether did I miss my alarm and was late. Needless to say, I was far from so.

It's no fun being a medical student. It's hard to have a life and yet be a marvellous gung-ho student. Unfortunately, I'm neither. shucks.

Stress - I can smell it in the air. And it's only going to get worse in the next few months. oh boy.

The P Word

Procastination should be one of the seven sins. Well, I guess it's quite similar to its brother, Sloth. heh.

I need to stop thinking unnecessary thoughts (cue to refer to my blog's motto just above) and start seriously studying!! le sigh.

And yes, the weekend is almost over. Too fast!

Despite Everything

Oops, been neglecting my blog again. Things are getting busy, so whenever I wanna blog, I tell myself, "oh I better do that thing first, it's due tomorrow."

Now I have 3 weeks' worth of laundry waiting to be ironed (I probably should get down to it soon, or will run out of clothes to wear soon - I know, I don't have that many clothes. Or work-suitable clothes anyway. Sponsor me? :P)

Anyway, as I said, things on the to-do-list are piling higher and higher up. And I see no hope of it dimishing soon. Or even plateau-ing. :(

This rotation is not slack at all. Who said so it was?? *stressed*

And the worst thing is I dunno what happened to my 'confidence'. I can't fake it that well anymore. I am so going to need it for the end of year exams this year. We need to be calm and confident when counselling patients.

Arggh. I hate the instances when I do kinda know my stuff but all my thoughts come out all tangled up and stuttering. HATE IT. Stupid.

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Okay rants aside. I must tell you this interesting event that happened to me a few days back.

I have been trying to contact a patient for a home visit for a case report. Kept calling about 3 times/day for the past 4 days or so.

Everytime when someone answered, I said: "Hi, can I speak to Mr. X please?" And everytime, the phone is left on hold for ages and nobody comes to the phone even though I kept waiting.

The last straw was when he said: "No" harshly before I could say anything and left the phone on (meaning I could hear the background noise of the tv for eg). When I called back again, the phone was engaged. I was quite frustrated by then and just left him a message detailing what I was calling for.

He called me back not long after, apologizing. Apparently, he has been hanging up on my calls because he thought I was one of the telemarketers.

"Because of your accent."

Why thank you. Isn't that nice? NOT.

Well, he did apologized many times so I know he didn't mean it. But I do dislike being discriminated against because of my accent, my looks etc. I will have you know that there are many aussie telemarketers too! And no, I do not even have a typical asian accent. I speak clearly, okay?? I don't mumble, I don't slur my speech, I don't simply give abbreviations to words and expect ppl to naturally understand them. AHHH!!

Anyhow, I did the home visit today. It was alright, I practiced doing a little patient education, which was good, despite the fact that at one part the cigarette smoke was blowing my way. Oh and I think I can't use him as my case report patient afterall. Coz he doesn't really have a new presenting complaint at this point in time. Really EPIC FAIL of me. after all that.

But I was still glad I did the visit though. He seemed a little lonely and appeared happy with my (albeit temporary) presence.

If I could have make someone's day a little happier, I guess it was worth it. Certainly an experience. :)

Now to figure out how to bluff my way when I am on the telephone so people don't hang up on me ;P

Costly

Overall, I had a pretty good day today... but it ended badly.

Because of my own carelessness.

So here's the story. I was coming back from the train station, and was taking out my purse (my card is in it) to tag off as usual. Then I remembered that the train station that I departed on was out of electricity, so I didn't need to tag off as I couldn't tag on at the previous station.

That different motion from my usual daily deed must have put me off. Coz when I went to woolies to buy something, I realised my purse was not with me when I wanted to pay for something. Panic ensured.

I rushed out to the train station... Found nothing on the ground. Went to ask the officers if they had seen anything. A rush of hope gushed through me when they said they had.

And yes! I got back my purse. But the bad thing is I lost all the money in it. Probably around 60-70 bucks. He/she even took all my coins!! O.o Sigh, just my luck to have withdrew money a few days earlier. :(

All this happened in the span of 15-20 mins.

The irony is that the person who returned it probably is the person who took the money. Of coz, I can't say for sure. But to be honest, I had great trust in aussies to return lost items. But I guess, you can't have everything.

Can you believe the officers summore joked and told me that there was a fee of 50 dollars to collect lost items?! I told him I don't have any money. -_-"

I know, on the bright side, at least all my important cards are still in the purse. Credit card, debit card, student card and the list goes on. So at least less trouble for me.

Although it was a costly lesson indeed, I had learnt it. To be more careful in the future (I haven't been too bad, to be honest) and to use my debit card more instead of withdrawing most of the cash out.

Okay. Rant finito.

Honesty

People who know me personally may wonder about the things I write in my blog.

But I have decided to be honest about my feelings as best as I can. We spend so much time in our daily lives putting up imaginary walls when dealing with other people. We are afraid to venture out of our comfort zone as we get older.

I would like to be a bit more honest with myself here. In my very own space.

Besides, I believe a lot of the emotions I write about are experienced by many people too. Just that they are reluctant to admit it to themselves. They are afraid to come face to face to what they are feeling.

Now, what I need is to recapture what I had in the earlier part of this year. Maybe it's called distraction.

Meaning

This blog looks cheerful at first glance. I told myself that I will try to be more optimistic in my outlook on life, hence the blog transformation at the beginning of the year.

But old habits die hard. They recur. I blog more when I'm emo. That, I do realise.

I apologize for those expecting merry frivolous posts while visiting this blog. Sometimes, what you see is not what you get.

I went to look at friend's Facebook profile just now. A friend who passed away tragically in a bus accident a few years ago.

Her profile page was filled with numerous people writing on her wall still, proclaming their affection for her in various ways. Missing her. Wishing she was there.

Despite her tragic early death, her presence is still dearly missed by so many people. Her years on earth might be relatively few, but she have touched the hearts of so many. She was someone who shine whenever she was.

This might be a morbid thought, but I wonder, if I was not here anymore, would I be dearly missed by so many people as well?

I want to do something meaningful with my life. I want to form meaningful relationships with other people.

Isn't that why we all are searching for that elusive meaning of life?

4/12

I can't believe I'm saying this... but I need a bit more STRESS to keep the momentum up! Apathy is doing me no good.

And I have so much to catch up from the previous postings...why oh why. Why didn't I finish everything in their respective postings?

I remember being stressed out at the beginning of the year (yes the irony!) but the stress slowly dissipated as time passed (as per usual -_-). But now it's about 4 months till end of the year exams. One of the most MAJOR ones that I will ever sit for.

Get this into your brain, you silly girl. 

FOUR MONTHS left.

Good!! Time to start freaking out!!


PS: For those who are not medically in tuned, this post's title is written in the way in medical notes to mean 4 months. For eg, 6 weeks would be written as 6/52.

PPS: Right, what's with the recent title obsession with numbers. lol.

PPPS: Since we are on the business of post-scripting, have you realised that I'd just updated my profile description. Thought that this one sounds cooler than the previous one :P

3.5

Happy three and a half years anniversary, dear dear! Wish you could be here.

We have been walking this journey together for quite sometime now. I hope we will be able to continue it for a long long time more.

Faith will see us through.

Thank you for being my lover, my best friend, my confidante, my supporter, my cheerleader and many other roles in my life. :)

Most of all, thank you for just being there.

Second Best

We are all looking for something meaningful to fill up the emptiness inside us. The one day there will be no more loneliness.

Till then, we gotta make do with second best to get us by.

Of What Could Have Been And What Will Be

I was looking through my phone the other night and chanced upon this note that I had left sitting in the notes section. Written almost a year ago, perhaps on a reflective night.

"I hope the sacrifices I made to become a doctor is worth it in the end. The people I left behind, the memories that will never be made now. For a better life? What's a better life anyway?"

They say you can't miss things you never had. But I know I'm going to miss those memories that will never be made now.

Another note more than a year ago sounded like this:

"Love makes one silly, love also makes one greedy; why is missing such a painful thing? Who understands my sorrows, lest they have gone through it before? To go back to what once was, I fear it will never be the same again. Were those the best years of my life? I wonder if you will miss those days that had gone by too."

It was just only last year, and I still remember the pain. Don't get me wrong, it's not all gone.

But now, it's more of a wistful remembrance that brings a smile to my lips. I'm done with thoughts of denial, I have come to an acceptance inside me. That this is what that's happening, and all I can do is accept and make the best of things.

There are so many things to hope for in the future, so if I want them to work out, what I should do now is work hard towards those goals and stop wallowing in self-pity.

Besides, I always remind myself: "Hey, it could always have been worse, right?"

You know what? Contentment comes with simple acceptance.

Sieve

Doing General Practice makes me feel bad for forgetting so many things that I have learnt in the past. :(

Patients coming in with complaints regarding msk problems, skin problems (granted, I have not done dermatology yet), hypertension, mental illness etc problems that I should know a little more about. *sigh*

What happened to the things I learnt? This stupid brain is like a sieve.

I feel like a fraud. :(

PS: I feel I'm unable to get into my aussie med student mode after the mid year holidays. I have gotten too comfortable in my old skin. le sigh.

GP/Opthalmo In Winter

You know it's true blue winter when you type this with ice cold hands. And no, it's nowhere near midnight yet. Weather forecast says the lowest temperature tomorrow will be 1 degree Celcius. Get this: ONE!!! SATU!!! It's going to be warmer in the fridge then. -_-""

Anyway, just finishing the 1st week of GP + Opthalmo, though haven't done anything of the latter yet. Tomorrow will have another GP session then I'm done for the week! The GP surgery I'm allocated is pretty good. (I dunno why they are called surgeries here, seeing that surgeries only happen in hospital, but that's just me.) They have a team of doctors who have schedules of their own working in the same medical centre, and my partner and I are attached to different ones each session.

And the GPs here are so different from the ones in Malaysia. In Malaysia, you don't need a referral to see a specialist while in Aussie, you do. Therefore, the GPs in Aussie see a wider range of cases.

And mental illness here seems more prevalent. So is it that doctors here are better at diagnosing it (or over-diagnosing it?) or Asians just take it better at emotions? To be honest, our general attitude would be to: suck it up! Therefore, more ppl  are able to pull themselves out of depression and resume normal lives? Seriously, I have been thinking about this for sometime, but I don't have the answer. Anyone do?

I find it quite interesting... but I dunno if I have the patience/discipline to listen to all their lengthy woeful stories and reassure and encourage them appropriately. I think I still have sympathy, but it takes more than that to be constantly kind, firm, understanding yet empathetic to these patients. But poor things, it must be really hard to live with a mental illness.

This reminds me why I don't want to do psychiatry. Listening to patients tell you their heart-breaking story once in a while is okay, but everyday is a little too much for me. Don't think I can handle that. Maybe it's not because I'm not empathetic enough, but rather the opposite - too empathetic? Hmm, food for thought.

But anyway, I'm feeling a bit sleepy. Lucky I get to sleep in tomorrow, can hibernate under the blanket to fight the impending 1 degree. ;)

PS: A random thought last night: In places where it snows (meaning temperature is below 0 degrees), how come the water from the tap/toiletbowl doesn't freeze?

Recharged or Lazy?

Sorry for not updating for sucha long time. I'm getting so lazy (with my blogging especially)!

I have been back from my Brisbane trip for 4 days now, and oh no, I have not done anything really productive these few days. :(

Well, the mid year break has been awesome, really recharged me. But now I feel too lazy to do anything. See, blog also lazy lah.

Anyway, classes start tomorrow! *runs off bawling* I don't wantttt!!! :(((

It's back to reality, zzzyun.

@ Brisbane #1

Finally! Some photos to brighten up this blog.

I'm not going to give a blow by blow account of what happened. Have just chosen some photos that I like. The rest are on my facebook. Enjoy!

Some of the cooler quotes in their student lounge.

Me outside their medical school. :P

Ancient microscope

Me with a random huge ball of wool at the city

Interesting architecture of bridge

At the main campus - reminds me of an aqueduct in roman times.

Beautiful lake at their campus - so serene

City hall which houses the main museum

So many clock towers!

Saw this exhibition at the musuem which was titled "Prejudice & Pride".

It was about LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Transexual relationships)

Found it really interesting.

Woah! ;)

See. You can't assume anything these days.

Rocky

Here I am, writing this post in Brisbane, Day 2 is currently winding to an end.

I must say, I have had a rocky start due to certain reasons. But hey, adversity builds character.

Shall update more next time. Time for some girl talk. ;)

Mid Year Break!

Cliche as it sounds - gosh, how time flies! I felt that the 1st part of this year just flew by and unknowingly, I'm already halfway into 5th year!

And that means: HOLIDAYS! I'm officially on my mid year break of 2 weeks. Just finished paediatrics today and passed up my many reportsss. I'm highly anticipating my Brisbane trip this sunday! We will be going to Gold Coast as well! :D

Nope, I haven't pack my bags yet. Yannie calls that "cool till the end" lol. I promise I'll pack them after this.

Anyhow, I can't believe I've done 2 of the hardest postings this year. Not that GP/Opthalmo and Gen med is easy, but you know what I mean. Both O&G and Paeds is no stroll in the park.

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Oops, wrote that halfway last night, then a friend came over to hang out, so I left that post hanging halfway.

At this point, I have packed most of my stuff. Will add if I think of anything new. I am only bringing 1 carry-on luggage bag though so I only have 7kg. Hope it doesn't go overweight!

I feel so excited! At the prospect of taking a proper holiday. Well, not proper per se, coz I am bringing some notes as well :( but we'll see if I even open them. :P

I can't wait for tomorrow to come!

I think I shall stop crapping here and do some work. So I can rightfully say I earned my holidays. hehe.

Will try to update soon on what's happening in Brissie. :)

Pre-Holiday Week

Aloha! I'm back again and instead of giving excuses for the absence on this blog - all I can say is, for once, I'm not extremely busy. On the contrary, actually. I'm bored. Bored means there is nothing interesting happening or when I do think of something remotely interesting, I don't have a computer with me.

But anyway. After all that crap that I typed in less than a minute or something. Woah, I think I'm in a crapping mood. Better hold in the reins.

Okay, let's try again.

Well, I will be ending with my last week of Paediatrics. Community part of it is not really that great, to be honest. Limited clinical exposure. But anyway, all I have left are a few clinics, 1 lecture and 1 cbl. Radiology tutes have been cancelled. So I think my thursday and friday will be free. What am I going to do with all that time??

Yes, the resounding answer should be STUDY!! But omg, I'm in sucha holiday mood.. anticipating my Brisbane trip! My besties have already planned such an awesome itinerary for me! :D

Okay la. I dunno what to crap already. :( I will try to update when I think of something whimsical or inspiring. Instead of these sporadic boring updates k? ;)

For now, good night all!

Of Faith And Dreams

I've just started watching this show that a friend passed to me. It's called 'Little Nyonya'. It's quite famous so I'm sure a lot of ppl have watched it before.

And I must say, it got me hooked! I really liked it... :) Well, I always have had a soft spot for dramas set in oldern times and women who fight to resist fate and have control over their own destiny. I know it's only a show, but hey there's no harm in using them as your inspiration to work harder.

As I grow older, and the naivety of youth is taken away from me, I had realised that there are some things in life that are fated to be. But no way am I going to take that lying down.

I'm going to do my utmost best to control my own destiny, my future. Call me naive if you will, but deep down inside, I still believe that the dreams I hope for will come true if I work hard enough for them.

Faith. That's the word.

Slogging

Just thought I will pop in and say hi before turning in for the night. Yes, it's kinda late now. But I have been getting quite a good amount of sleep for the past few days, until I find it hard to fall asleep at night! lol. That's a rarity in recent times. Well that's thanks to a relatively free week of community paediatrics!

Anyway, when I'm busy not doing anything, I'm slogging away on my reportssss... Kinda finished at least the gist of the developmental report and the 2nd case report. The former's discussion part was hell to write. Government policies are difficult to talk about. Can't believe I'm saying this but gimme a pico question anyday now.

At the very least, my procastination days for reports are over! *pats self on back* Not much improvement on the studying part though. Must buck up after I fully finish all my reports.

Okay? No more excuses, miss!

PS: Happy birthday, little sis! :) Go celebrate after your exams! haha.

Your Absence

Lying in bed, listening to song after song play in the background while sleep eludes me, I really miss you.

The Reverse

I didn't realise I haven't blogged for so long. okay 1 week isn't that long but still... It's weird, days seem to be swooshing past nowadays. I feel that all I am doing is trying to get from one thing to the next.

In less than 3 weeks' time, it will be time for my long-awaited mid year break! Can't wait for that. Will be going to Brisbane to visit my two best friends and other good friends as well! :D

Anyway, my presentation is over and done with. I thought it went pretty okay on my part, I must be improving on public speaking. I shall not go into a long grandmother's story but suffice to say, it was a tricky and complicated situation. Some of the personal comments made after the presentation didn't sit very well with me, I must admit. Hence the rants on Facebook, which gathered quite a bit of attention actually. I'm lucky to have friends that care about me. :) Don't worry, I am careful to make vague Facebook statuses. Don't want to get thrown out of med school because of something insignificant like that. lol.

However, I just received a message from a friend. Looks like it's gonna be a more drawn out affair due to the fact that someone made an official complaint. Not about me, thank goodness. It's too difficult to explain here without going into specifics. Just that it's interesting to note, the people being complained about are not the ones that upset me.

So now. I'm doing my last 3 weeks of Paediatrics, which is community-based. Nothing too heavy really. Which is a good end to a relatively busy term. All I need to do is attend my rostered clinics and attend the tutes and lectures scheduled - which are not that much now that's nearing the end of term. Oh and yes, the most important thing, finish up on my 3 reports left for Paeds. Hope to get them done relatively soon so I can relax.

I wonder how this week is going to turn out. Can't wait for the weekend. Have 2 dinners lined up this weekend. Time to catch up with friends. :)

Going Through The Motions

I haven't blogged properly for the past few days. Suffice to say, it was a mixture of busy-ness interspered with procastination. Nothing new, eh?

Anyway, this is my last week of Neonates. All I can say is - finally! Phiew. The loooooong ward rounds are giving me severe backache. Yes, at this young age!! Oh wait, I used to have them last time due to lousy lecture hall chairs in uni. Sheesh.

Neonates isn't too bad I guess, just that there is minimal patient interaction, the babies are generally too sick! So yeah. I much rather have active pts that I can interact with.

The days seemed to be flying past though, every morning I feel I am just going through the motions - then suddenly it's night time and I'm ready to sleep, to wake up the next day to repeat the cycle.

Anyhow, after this it will be 3 weeks of Community Paediatrics, before MID-YEAR BREAK! Woohoo! Can't wait for it... hehe. Would be good to get a break from the mundane routine. I will be going to visit Yannie and Funnie in Brisbane for 10 days!! Can't wait! :D

Hmm, what else is new in my boring life?

Well, I have another presentation coming up on thursday. It's on Aboriginal Issues in Child Health. Not the easiest topic I must say, especially for someone like myself who just arrived in Aussie not too long ago. Hope all goes well - but I suspect there will be a lot of unproductive criticism from certain ppl. But let's not go there. I'm sure I'm tough enough to handle something small like that. Upping the EQ, remember? Take that!

I guess that's all for now. Something that I'd noticed is that recently, my blog is getting quite a few visits from ppl that I do not know. Did someone pimp me or something? Where did you guys got to know my blog from? Please do let me know!

Reading a medical student's blog? It's too bad that you guys don't get to hear the actual stories of pts I encountered in the hospital. They would make for good content. There are horror stories, touching stories, interesting stories, funny stories. But alas, due to confidentiality reasons, I don't think I should/am allowed to share them here. Sorry, I dont want to be kicked out of med school! I had worked hard for it!!

But since you guys are still here, I guess you all are happy to hear about a medical student's rants about crazy workloads or her aimless rambles. All I can say is - enjoy! :P

Okay, till the next post, ciao.

Life Cycle

Something interesting to share.

I thought the scenes were interspersed beautifully. Very well thought out.

做人简简单单就好

这是我的朋友blog上写的一些做人的宗旨：我觉得挺不错，所以和大家分享。。

（好久没用华语打字了，哈哈！如有错字，请原谅！）

1. 做人开心就好。（这也是我本身做人的原则。）
2. 看开一点，人生就美丽一点。
3. 看不清楚未必是不好，我可以有多一点的想象空间。（不错，用另一个角度去看同一件事。）　
4. 可以解决的问题就不是问题，不可以解决的问题是事实。事实是要面对，而不是担心。（这个实用！）
5. 明天一定会比今天好，　因为幸福是在我手里。。　
6. 被人笑，　好过笑别人。。　因为我ＥＱ比别人好！（我需要练习这个！）

Future Career, No?

Just for laughs. :P

Fight, Flight Or Fright?

I just realised where the thought of using an umbrella for self-defense (against zombies) in the dream came from.

About a week ago, two friends and I were walking home from a dinner in Fremantle. Just as we were approaching our house, 2 large big black guard dogs and a small dog stood menacingly barking for all their worth outside our neighbour's house. We were a bit wary and approached slowly.

Suddenly, without any provocation whatsoever, one of the big guard dogs rushed straight over barking furiously. We were all frightened out of our wits - torn between running and standing our place. We have all been told that you should never run while a dog runs at you, as that will provoke it into running after you madly. I wonder if it's true.

Anyway, I knew my heart was thumping madly, as though it would twist into an arrhythmia. Palpitations. I could feel the adrenaline abruptly rush into me - I really felt I was ready to fight or run for my life. Although in this case, it would be more apt to say it was a fight, flight or fright mechanism!

The dog ran dangerously near us. I was afraid it was gonna take a big chunk of flesh out of me. I took a few steps backwards and was already pulling on my friend who was in front of me, wanting to urge her to run. Lucky, it stopped near us, still barking ferociously.

In the end, to get back to our house, we had to make a huge round the other way. And mind you, they were still barking at us when we approached from the other end.

And the idea of the umbrella for self-defense came when one of my friends took it out, just in case.

How funny though I have managed to imagine the dogs into zombies in my dream. -_-"

Anyhow, I still think the owner of the dogs should have been a bit more vigilant and not let those dangerous dogs simply out into the neighbourhood.

What if it had bitten us? That would definitely be not fun, at all, thank you very much.

Slow Down

Today was sucha nice day. Not because anything special happened - because it didn't! Haha.

Didn't do much today except went to market for usual weekly groceries, did weekly laundry, made some slides for an upcoming presentation (yes another one! ahhh!), cook and sleep. Sucha simple day yet feels so good to take it easy once in a while. phiew.

Recharging once in a while is needed I think. Or else we will get really burnt out.

We went to San Churios on friday afternoon - we are starting a friday afternoon ritual of hanging out - it does wonders for the stress!

The chocolate shake was lovely! And the Churios were very nice too! But the latter is a bit on the expensive side though.

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I have been having some weird vivid dreams recently.

The last one I had involved zombies taking over the world; and all I had for self protection was a (never ending loaded) gun and an umbrella. How crazy is that??

I think my REM sleep is getting more screwed up when I'm really really tired. First is a bloody accident, then homicide, now zombies?! Oh my gosh.

I need more rest, I think.

Start of Neonates

Apologies but I did not have the mental or physical capacity to blog for the past few days. I must say, it has been a rather busy week.

I am currently doing my subspecialty for Paediatrics, which is Neonates. My previous enthusiasm for Paediatrics was dampened by an unfortunate prolonged encounter with a doctor who did not inspire me much. But that's a story for another day.

The point is: I'm trying to do the bare minimum currently to get me by - unlike in General Paediatrics, which I did my best as the patients were interesting and challenging to learn and manage. Don't get me wrong, Neonates is challenging as well, if not even more so. But to me, it gets a bit stale as all the patients looked similar, although they have come in for many different reasons. It breaks my heart to see all these small little babies so sick.

Anyhow, I think I'll still keep an open option on whether to pursue Paediatrics in the future. It is too early to say! One probably needs more experience to tell what they really like.

This week has been extremely busy with lectures/tutes/assignments/ward work! I have a presentation tomorrow as well. I dislike public speaking but... I think with practice, I will get better. However, it would have been good to get a topic I know a bit more upon. Guess what, I'm talking about myocarditis tomorrow. o.O Just hope it goes well. *fingers crossed*

But I'm so looking forward to a good "rest" (rest is relative for medical students!) this weekend. Falling asleep while studying is becoming a too common occurence! :(

Disrupted

So it's a Sunday afternoon and I'm hiding in my room after a nice bath and lunch of salad. *feels healthy* haha. It's bright outside but I have the blinds down in my comfy relatively dark room.

Was planning to sleep in today after a physically and mentally tiring week. But as you would have it, a neighbour has to mow the lawn/vacuum with some industrial strength machine at half past 10 on a sunday morning. NOT COOL!!

It woke me up and I couldn't really get back to sleep. I seemed to have lost the ability to sleep in. Especially if I'm woken up halfway. Why larrr... Have I gotten used to functioning on less sleep? (that would be handy!) But I would really like to have a good sleep in when I want to. Miss that feeling when you have just woken up from a nice long deep sleep.

Anyway, I had another weird dream. I dunno if you can call it a nightmare. It involved 2 ppl who looked kinda like ppl I know but aren't exactly them. So I was friends with this couple. And somehow one day, the girl went missing. And I found out that the guy has murdered the girlfriend in a fit of rage. Scary-nya... Last time I dream about an accident, now it's homicide!! OMG. And no, I didn't see anything like that on the news this time.

I wonder what are these dreams telling me... There must be something weird floating around in my subconscious...

Okay, I think I just have an overactive brain. How I wish it would use itself for more useful stuff like memorizing the entire list of antibiotics and microorganisms. -___-"

Reflect

I was re-examining myself last night, about my thought and emotional processes. A little reflection once in a while is a healthy thing.

Thanks to the bf who was doing a good job in enlightening me on certain issues. :) I feel that I can tell him almost anything and everything, and he will not judge me for it, but instead give me his thoughts objectively. Thanks, dear!

I realised that I have started out from a good standpoint, with a good intention... but somehow when things did not go my way and I did not receive the things I want, my intentions became skewed.

I felt that I needed to be acknowledged for my effort and work. Which in essence is wrong. It is not a competition. Coz I should be doing these things because I want to. Not because of the compelling feel that I need to.

I should remember the parents who appreciated me being there for them, when their child was sick. Who I sat with, talked to, sympathized with. Who happily thanked me when they were ready to go home. The children who recognized me, who I played with.

Who am I to think all these selfish thoughts? People are selfish essentially, there is no denying it. But you can limit the extent of your selfishness. I should open my heart a little wider.

If there is one good thing to be said about me, it's probably the fact that I often reflect on my own thoughts and emotions... and hopefully change for the better. That's why I'm always trying to live life the best way I know.

EQ

To be honest, this week wasn't that bad. But it somehow seems to be. The fatigue overwhelms.

I don't mind being tired if my effort pays off... but as life would have it, it's often the opposite that happens.

I get frustrated when ppl who do less but get more in return just because they are sweet talkers/good-looking etc. While ppl who work hard gain nothing. It pisses me off. What happened to the "you reap what you sow" philosophy? I really shouldn't be whining about this.

I'm telling myself to look at the good side of things when I have these bouts of bad luck. I'm so much luckier than so many ppl on this earth. One look at the very sick critically ill kids in the wards, and I know I'm just a pathetic whiner.

I think I'm just sensitive at this moment. It must be the hormones talking. (yeah, blame it on the hormones! how convenient!)

Okay. Emotional quotient time: Zzzyun, what you need is to not take things personally but instead, in moderation - and to be at ease with your self if you know you have done your best.

Fleeting

Today is a sunday (understatement of the year, I know) so that means monday is coming tomorrow. :(

Yes, I do look forward to seeing patients and pretending to be a pseudo-doctor sometimes. but hey, I would gladly love a few more days of break... to study.

Omg haha, I sound like a nerd. But too bad lah, this year cannot slack like last year already. Cannot last minute cram everything like last year. Or sure gone case wan, with the immense amount we need to study this year. Brain info overload. It's like when I read B, out goes A from my tiny brain. (microcephaly, anyone? okay sry! enough with the geek jokes *slap*)

Anyway, where was I? yeah. I need more time to breathe... I want to pass this year and go to 6th year smoothly. Coz this year is the hardest according to seniors. After that, should be alright.

I wanted to sleep in this morning. But somehow, I couldn't. Was awakened by someone going to the bathroom a nightmare I had. It was a really weird one though... Medically related, which makes it all the more scary.

Somehow, in the dream, I had suffered some serious internal injury... And I could see myself bleeding from one of the major vessels in the body. The blood was flowing quickly, bright red in colour. And somehow, I was looking down at my body from above - kinda like in those out-of-body-experience sort of stories.

And like how dreams normally are, I woke up suddenly, remembering only the above fragments...

Could it because I saw a report on the news last night abt a 15 yo girl who was in an accident, then was dragged for 80m under the car (the driver was trying to flee the scene! wth) and has sustained massive head injuries and is now in the ICU in PMH? Read more here. I hope she's doing okay. sigh.

Life is fleeting. Savour it when you still can.

PS: Sorry about the sudden depressing morbidity. But you know, life is not all about roses and sunshine.

Paediatrics So Far

Hello! Greetings from a chirpy but rather tired girl. Well, technically I'm starting to wonder how much longer I can still justify use of the word 'girl' *cough*

Anyway, this week has been absolutely great! The nice and willing to teach consultant is back! And I think (think-lah okay) he's quite pleased with my team involvment so far. hehe. So I'm one happy camper as well! :)

Been able to see quite a few patients. And various presentations. Interestingly, Paediatrics is so different than adult medicine because of the social side of things. In Paediatrics, taking a social history is immensely important. Due to  the fact that kids can't really take full care of themselves yet, we as health care professionals have a responsiblity to make sure they are receiving the best quality of life as possible. Not only in the medical sense, but also the care by the family as well.

If there is something dodgy going on (like abuse), we have a duty to set things into motion so that the kids will be able to have the best outcome at the end of the day. It's quite sad to see kids like that though.

Sad things aside, did I mention that the little ones are SOOO cute? omgosh.. haha. Am still not very good at dealing with older kids and teenagers though. Harder to get through. Hmm...

I am quite interested in paediatrics... so who knows, can consider this as a future career pathway! But we will see how things go. Paediatrics is like general medicine for kids; but with the extra challenge of diagnosing things when the patient can't talk or can't describe symptoms well enough yet. And it's not easy to engage a kid or teenager. And the best thing is that anything you do that benefits them will help them in the long-term future.

This is where I can really can see where the science and art of Medicine meets each other. :)

I Wish

This is one of the best 11 minutes of a movie I have ever seen. And showing the power of music alone.

Don't all of us wish for a life like that? If only life was that easy.

Weekends

Weekends are normally a time of rest and leisure for most ppl. Alas, it has turned into a time for me to catch up with studies. :(

And the sad part is - I can't even finish catching up! Why do I study so slow... Need to push myself a bit more. 5th year is uber stressful. I hope 6th year will be better.

But hey, this is the situation I'd put myself into, so gotta finish the race strong. There is no looking back. *grits teeth*

This weekend just totally zipped past. Had a study group session yesterday. And we had to do total house cleaning today coz inspection's on wednesday.

I feel like screaming: "WHERE HAS MY WEEKEND GONE TO??"

First Taste

First clinical week of paediatrics has just passed. Pretty full on since I am attached to a general paediatric team.

Seen quite a few patients but still a bit tentative when it comes to history taking and examination of sick kids though. Not sure how to handle them confidently yet. But hopefully that will come with time. :)

I was pleasantly surprised to see the clown doctors that came to the wards this afternoon. I think they are real doctors who dress up as clowns and try to bring some smiles to the poor kids. And omg, they are good. The kid in my team who apparently didn't like clowns according to his parents, LAUGH out loud at the silly antics of the clown doctors. Amazing stuff.

And I really quite like how they try to make the hospital as kid-friendly as possible. Colourful walls with murals/cartoons etc. And they have someone call a play coordinator. And they are in charge of bringing different sort of toys for the kids of different ages. Love the stuff they have. Apparently can even ask for x-boxs or laptops. Seriously awed.

And did I say how cute the babies are?? Omg. I think I've been influenced by the baby-loving bf!! lol. But it's so nice when the babies smile at you. Or the feeling you get when kids accept you when they were a bit wary initially. I hope I will be able to develop more of these skills of how to talk to kids of different ages.

But there's always a flip side to everything. It makes me really sad to see kids who are really sick and hvta be in and out of hospital all the time. Or who have multiple congenital abnormalities and are suffering. sigh.

Balance the good with the bad. Moderation is the mantra of life.

And I want to try to make life a bit better for those who are suffering; and I hope I will not forget or lose myself along the way, in the years to come.

Quarter Way

Will be starting paediatric teams tomorrow! Can't wait! Hope the kids are looking forward to see me too. haha. Actually, I'm hoping more that the kids won't cry when they see me. :P And maybe that I'll be able to adapt naturally when managing them.

Hope I learn lots!

My to-study-list shows no signs of slowing down. :( Need to get the vroom vroom up.

Welcome to a medical student's life.

PS: Do you guys like this microblogging style? At least I will blog more frequently this way, hopefully.

Breaks Should Be...

...well-deserved. Especially in 5th year.

Anyway.

Guess what guess what!! I have finally booked my flight to Brisbane after much contemplation!! Will definitely need to study hard the next few weeks to make up for that break during mid year!

And I just got back from a mini-break yesterday. We went for a day trip down south to Bunbury/Ferguson Valley. Scenery was beautiful. Didn't do a lot of special things but it was still FUN! :) Pictures are on Facebook, I'm lazy to upload here already haha. You are already lucky to see me blogging, ya know.

Okay time to sleep. Am tired of reading on contraception already. >.<

Imperfect

I'm so glad it's the super long weekend! We don't get many public holidays here in aussie, ya know. 4 free days is precious.

I was just sitting on my desk, thinking just now. Thinking about what I went through last year. The first year thrown into a foreign country wasn't my idea of fun at all. Being alone and yet surrounded by people who looked foreign, talked strangely, and throw you weird looks.

Sounds like an equation for fun? hurhur.

But come this year, everything seems different. It's not like I've totally blended into their community, but at least I'm not the sore thumb out now (well I hope). You could say I'm like a chaemeleon, changing her colours to suit the environment. But inside, she's still the same ol' person.

And why am I talking about myself in the third person suddenly? blek.

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There seems to be a lot to study for in 5th year. So much that it's quite overwhelming!!

It's sad that they all expect medical students/doctors to be this hyper high-functioning person (superman/woman!) that can go to hospital everyday and be kind to pts and yet still do a proper history/examination and come up with a logical diagnosis and management plan. And go back home to study, cook, exercise and do another 1 million things. Don't forget taking care of their family if they already have one.

Wtf is that??? We are human too, okay! :(

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On a totally unrelated note, I really find it hard to talk to ppl who I can't get along with but still have to due to certain (unrevealable - is that a word?) reasons. I really wanna just throw in the towel and give up.

But I tell myself, Zzzyun, what you need is patience.

Shucks.

Self Advice

More individualism and less soft-heartedness, my dear.

Stay out of things that do not involve you. (people will not thank you for it) It's true that less attachments lead to lesser disappointments and sadness.

Why not do things that you should be doing instead? For instance, studying?

[Enlightened]

Many Roads Diverged In A Yellow Wood

Sometimes, I wish I have the power to see into the future.

But I reckon all I'm going to see are alternate paths leading to different destinations. And I am the one who has to choose which I will walk on.

The Here And Now

I can't believe I'm blogging so sporadically these days. It's not there isn't much going on, there is! But that actually is the thing that hinders me from taking the time to type. haha.

Anyway, the seniors have gone back yesterday. And now everything is back to normal again. le sigh. Am going to miss them lots. *sniffles*

And here I am, on a sunday afternoon, procastinating on completing my o&g stuff by blogging. Tomorrow will be a new rotation again and it's Paediatrics! I wonder if I will like it.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed with the amount of work left undone. I think I really have tried my best the last 10 weeks or so but there is just so much to learn in o&g! And I'm trying to write up notes so that it won't be so difficult when it comes to revision. But how I dislike writing so...!

I need a break. Okay technically last week was relatively more slack but still, breaks can never be enough, alright.

Oh and did I mention the horror work stories the new interns regalled us with last week? I always thought I can't wait to start working... but after hearing those, I'm starting to think again. I dunno if I can be that competent in less than 2 years' time. :(

But heck, I don't even know if I will get a job then. So better to focus on the here and now. Yes, that means - STUDY, ZZZYUN!!

Lucky

I'm aware that I haven't posted for a few days! But be assured, I'm alive and well after my scary presentation on monday! lol.

Yeah, I have been quite busy because some of the seniors (who are interns now!) are back from adelaide/sydney for 1 week for their graduation. So we had some fun events so far. We went out for dinner at our fav italian place on saturday night. Yummy food they served at ciao italia! And then we had the bbq lunch on sunday for all of the imu peeps. From the most senior to the most junior. It was definitely a very satisfying lunch, thanks for it, Ken Rhee. :)

Then we came back home and Debs and I started practicing for our case presentation the whole sunday. Luckily, it went relatively well. Practice really does make perfect. Well, maybe not perfect in that sense, but as long as I don't stand in front of everybody and look like a stupid goldfish opening and closing its mouth in shock, that's fine with me. lol.

I was quite nervous when I started, but as I rambled along, it was better. Although I must admit, I couldn't wait to finish it and therefore spoke abit fast. Haha the dr commented that as well :P I think Debs did a pretty good job on her part too! And... soooo we got a pretty good mark!! hehe. We were pretty happy once it was done. major phiew. I think with more practice, hopefully one day I won't be so anxious about public speaking!

Anyway, some of you might have heard, there was a MAJOR freak storm that happened on monday afternoon. There was torrential rain, lots of lightning, strong winds and golf-ball sized hailstones. Omg. You should google and see the pictures. Here's a link so that you can see how bad the damage is.

There was massive flooding, some places had collapsed roofs, holes in the ceiling, some houses were out of power, and cars has massive dents all over plus cracked windscreens and the holes in it caused the rain to soak through the car. oh my.. I didn't know a storm can be so dangerous. And the worst part is that it came out of the blue. It only rained like minimally this summer. Less than 5 times and mostly drizzles. So I guess the clouds couldn't hold it in any longer. blek.

Debs and I are lucky that our house suffered no damage and only my shoes were the worse for wear after I had to wade into 3 inches deep puddles to get to my house. Sigh, they were expensive shoes, I hope they will recover. :/

Anyhow, I was lucky that I was in Fremantle Hospital when it happened so I was quite safe. Most of the damage was higher north. However, one of the pipes must have overflowed and burst through one of the ceilings in the clinic opposite. Can you imagine the sight of water overflowing from above in a clinic??

And if you read more of the news, apparently the ceiling in the ED in Joondalup Hospital collapsed and patients have to be evacuated. And alot of hospitals were flooded as well. Hmm... In conclusion, it was a pretty nasty storm. :O

So guess what we had that night for dinner? KFC lol. No point being in the jam.

For completeness' sake, we also had supper with the seniors at Gelare last night. Waffles with icecream are the best. hehe. And we are getting a bit spoilt coz the seniors are so nice to be belanjaning us with all these food. :D

Okay, that's all the updates for now. I probably shld be doing some catch up with studies instead of just enjoying so much!!

The Big And Small Things

It's interesting when I realised that I'm currently in a phase where I'm just going along with things.

I think for every person, there is a need for a sense of control, but the degree needed is different for everyone. I think my threshold used to be really high. I still plan a lot of things ahead of time but these are the small things. Things like what am I going to cook tonight? Do I have stuff to make a sandwhich for lunch tomorrow? Am I buying enough vege and meat for next week? As you can see, most are food-related. :P

But I think I have stopped planning for the big things. Coz I can't anymore. There are too many variables that I'm unable to control. These would be what we call 'confounding factors' in EBM. lol.

I would love to know - which part of the world will I be in 2012? Will I be able to get the job I want? Will I still be with you? Could we have a future together?

Now, I'm taking the big things with baby steps. I might still dream of the future, but dreaming is different from planning.

I also realised I'm in a phase where things are going okay, but still I want to run madly forward, to another new phase of my life, to answer those questions. To know their answers, so that I can prevent things from not going the way I hope them to be.

In a way, I still wish to have control. Just that I'm unable to do anything now but have faith.

Restart

We have been slaving away at our EBM presentation for the past few nights. And guess what? After consulting with one of the nice drs, apparently we have been barking up the wrong tree. Shit! The research we did was not relevant to the type of surgery our patient had. Therefore, we wouldn't be able to conclude anything meaningful. :(

So yesterday, we pulled our long faces up - and started again on that painstaking task of finding relevant journals - with a new PICO question. (For those wondering what's PICO, it stands for Patient, Intervention, Comparison, Outcome. It's a way of making a good clinical question for medical research in the literature.)

And today, we started on the arduous task yet again, of deciding which journals and to read them and try understand them. Oh those journals! All the twisting tales they tell, and the swirly numbers of statistics stand between us.

We gotta really push and work hard the next 2 days if we want to enjoy a bit more during the weekend. The seniors (interns now!) who went to adelaide/sydney early this year to work are coming back to visit next week. So yeah, that is something I'm definitely looking forward to!

Wish us luck! We are gotta need it!

PS: EBM is not Expressed Breast Milk as it is in o&g lol. It generally stands for Evidence-Based Medicine.

Of Babies & Case Presentations

I haven't been updating again for a few days, I keep wanting to, but something more important keeps coming up. Or maybe I just feel too lazy tired. But am going to be freaking busy for the next last 2 weeks of O&G.

We have this super important EBM case presentation in a week's time. Which we hvta present the best evidence on the topic of 'Ectopic Pregnancy' to a lot of ppl. OMGGGGG!!

Firstly, the presentation is something really hard to do, especially finding and interpreting the best evidence. Journals, statistics :( Statistics and criticizing articles ain't my strong point, I'll have ya know. And secondly, public speaking is freaking scary. I'm so afraid I'll turn into a puddle standing in front of all the staring audience. Must practice first!!!

But must try our best. We kinda did the first cochrane meta analysis yesterday and it wasn't too bad. phiew. Jiayou to us!!!

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I must mention here, after much effort and time spent, last weekend, I finally got to do half of a delivery under supervision. Why half, you ask? Well, the baby had to have a vaccumed assisted delivery, but the doctor was very nice, he let me do the shoulders onwards.

It was amazing. really. Being able to hold and touch the baby as it comes out and takes its first few breaths of life. I had to wait about 14 or 15 hours just for that birth. But I'm glad I did. ^v^ I wish I was luckier in getting more deliveries. But hey, it's alright. That's life, isn't it? I'm just happy my effort kinda paid off.

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On another note, I just wanna say, medical students realise and appreciate it when doctors take the extra mile to teach or help us with stuff. We remember you even after time has passed. I wanna be a doctor like that next time. :)

A Double Life

Sometimes, I feel like I'm living a double life. Or maybe in alternate universes, if you believe in that sort of theory.

One life that exists back home, where everything is familiar and comfortable. And I'm surrounded by friends and loved ones. The familiar faces in the crowds. The blend of dialects/languages that mostly are familiar to the ear. Yummy food and none of the need to explain what is char kuey teow to someone.

Here, it is another different life, familiar as well, surrounded by new friends too. I have gotten used to the culture here, have finally succumbed to the pressure to say "how's it going?" to patients/not well known ppl. Because that's how they do it here. And I found it easier to slowly blend in, to not be so defensive and draw a line between our differences. It goes a bit easier on the heart as well.

I feel that I'm straddling two different worlds, but am able to be comfortable in both - making the switch whenever the need arises - as though it's the most perfectly natural thing in the world.

Sometimes, I wonder, what is real anymore?

I Am A Whiner

I'm currently week 7 in my obs & gynae posting. This week is relatively free but *gasp* my case presentation date has been set! First day of week 10 omg. Well maybe better to get it over with quick anyway. But we haven't started anything. *hyperventilate*

Anyway. The seniors who are currently working in adelaide/sydney will be coming back for graduation that week too. So can hang out after we are done! yay. Would be so good to see them again, miss them so much!

That reminds me, we also have our summative obs/gynae clinical exam to complete as well. Shall start to seek opportunities when I start being in team next week. Hope it will be good but I feel my knowledge is not up to scratch yet. Find time to study! (well more like mood currently, coz the hot weather definitely doesn't help)

Oh and I only have 1 more delivery shift left this coming saturday night and I have yet to be lucky enough to do any hands-on delivery! Major bummer. I look like this --> D: I really have tried my best so if I still don't get one on the last shift, so be it!

I am also trying to sort out the things for my elective. Will be applying to do a month stint in singapore next january. Very super mafan!!!! aihs. Made my dad wasted money buying health insurance for me as well and they had to send the letter AFTER he bought it. Thanks a bunch. *huff*

Hmm I also haven't quite decided what departments to go for yet though. Emergency department and general medicine are okay, but I need another 2 options. Suggestions? No surgery related things please.

Okay, I really should end here now before I sound like a total whiner. I dunno why recently opening this page does that to me. >.<