I misposted this sometime ago - wanted to click on 'save as draft', manatau blur and clicked on 'publish post' - and it has been brewing as a draft for a very very looong time. So, I've decided to edit it and let it out to see the light of the day lah.. Pls keep in mind that I wrote this a long time ago. Enjoy~
I wonder and often ponder about my future.
Sometimes, I get this resurfacing doubts in my mind whether am I suitable enough to be a good doctor. [What do you guys think? Imp: Comment pls~!!]
Am I compassionate + humble + efficient + disciplined + smart-ass (lol) enough to be a doctor?? I really dunno lah. =Aikz=
Anyway, as a person, I really am not fond of violent + bloody scences in movies and/or real life. I'll cringe or wince on anticipating the impact but that just means I'm not a morbid sadist, right? *Wishful thinking*
I wonder if this will impair my future workings with cadavers (dead bodies) and dying people. [Note: It's dying people, not dead people. Which is important coz that means I'll have to save their lives, right?]
My dad regularly assures me that I'll be able to handle it on the basis that "if other people can, so can you." But this is so wrong. If Mariah Carey can hit a high high note, does that mean moi can? I don't think so. My voice would break first, though normal high notes are okla.
Anyhow, I really want to make a difference in this war-torn world and this is the only way I can see how. But I often wonder whether this is having too much on my palate. I really really hope that I don't regret my choice later. :(
I wonder if I'll be able to persevere long enough and hard enough to reach my dream (as you probably know, I totally lack disciplince + self-control), or whether I'll make a good doctor. I've seen my dad at work, and it's just amazing how genuine the way he cares for his patients.
Oh no.. I'm scared. Yeah.
But I think it's normal to have these sort of doubts about one's future career, right? Yeah. *Sigh*
Oh well, whatever.
2 comments:
May not know you well enough... but this is what I think. The fact that you are worried about your capacity to become a doctor means that you care about HOW you would perform as a doctor, not just where you'd end up in (as in which department and how high up you'd be). That may not be all the qualities needed to be a good doctor, but you've eliminated the most common feature of a bad doctor.
Secondly, you really care about people. When I was feeling really down, your sms made a very big difference. More than you know. Kinda weird but yeah, I appreciate what you did to someone you hardly know. If you'd do that for someone you hardly know, I'm sure you will go the extra mile for your patients too.
You're a good person, Ziyun. I may not be the best judge of character, but you can trust me on this.
*Speechless*
Wow, that's really nice of you to say that... :)
Havent been praised like that for a long time liao lo.. haha.
*kembang* :P
Anyway, just tot that u needed some cheering up after that incident, that's why i sms-ed you. :D
Well, just wish u all the best and smile more often!! [actually u smile alot ade hor..haha]
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