Thursday, August 17, 2006

Doing The Listening

Ever get the burdened feeling that a lot of ppl are depending on you? It's not a light burden to carry upon my weak shoulders.

Probably you wondering at this point what I'm babbling about but have patience. I'm not joking when I say a lot of ppl tell me their stories, their secrets. [Don't worry, they are all safe with me. It might be difficult sometimes to keep from gossiping, but promises are promises, right? *winks*]

Some are close frenz, some are casual frenz, some are pretty distant accquaintances. But they have something in common. They pour their heartaches, their pasts, their stories into my ears. Yes, little unimportant me. Sometimes I do wonder why they chose me.

Do I have "good listener" stamped upon my forehead? Am I even a good listener? Aikz.

Is it I that encourage them to say more (and more and more) when the conversation takes a different turn? Is it becoz I'm persuasive enough to wheedle out information from them?

Or is it becoz I try not to judge people?

Or is it that I'm quite often sympathetic [if not empathetic]? :T

I try my best to give advice but I don't guarantee that it may be the best advice that you can get though. Whether it even works is another matter of debate. Tact isn't exactly my strongest point either, but I guess msn is one of the mediums of communication that actually provides me time to think (lest I say something hurtful offhand) before I press 'enter'.

But anyhow, I sincerely really wanna help you all. I really hope that all things will work out fine, and everyone will be happy. (sorry for the idealistic thinking, I get hyper that way sometimes... blek)

Most of the time, I do get pleasure from helping ppl by listening to their woes, their tales. It makes me happy that I managed to lessen the sorrow of another human being. If that's the least I can do for one, why not? (I believe in utilinarianism)

But sometimes when you have own set of problems to worry about, it can get a tad difficult to listen to the ranting of some distant accquantance who didn't really know that the whole problem was probably him/herself anyway. -_- And try explaining that to someone in a sugar-coated way. As I said, tact is not my strongest point, though I do try to improve over the years.

Msn is a great medium to give advice. Do you know why? Coz the other person can't see that you're roll-my-eyes-bored of his/her ramblings and would rather go and sleep or do smtg else. But hey, I'm not perfect. Although I might tire of your nonsensical hard-to-understand ramblings, at least I still try to listen and comprehend. It takes effort on my part, when I can so easily just say: "hey i gtg, cya soon." Just like that. But I didn't. I stuck and listened. And that is what that matters. Sometimes it's not the advice. Sometimes they just need someone to listen to them.

Point to note: This post is not refering to anyone who talked to me recently. [Just in case you come screaming at me. o.O]

Just a "domino effect" over the years, as more and more ppl come and tell me their stories. Someone who had this in common with me told me that that makes us like "open books", where ppl will come and write down their stories on the blank pages, then just leave.

As time goes on, the books get thicker and thicker. And I think mine might have gotten a little too thicker too fast for my liking. Coz it's hard to have so many stories and secrets swirling inside you [I think I might need to buy a Pensive in those Harry Potters stories] and you can't tell anyone else about it coz you promised.

Inner cry: It's hard to do the listening all the time.


PS: But a BIG thanks to those who listened to me woes and supported me the past few weeks. Guess that I got enough karma from my past life after all, at least enough so that there are ppl who listened to my stories. :)

PPS: Actually I don't mind close frenz coming to me for help. It's the distant accquaintances that only appear when they need help that irks me, sometimes.

PPS: That fren said that I'm too nice for my own good sometimes. *kembang becoz of compliment :D* Well, I guess trying to be nice to everyone is part of every homosapien. It's just whether this part of one's character is prominent enough or not, I guess. *sceptic look*

PPPS: And yes, I'll be continue to be nice. ^v^ At least until I can bear the burden no more. For now, do come and let me lend my ears (or eyes if we do msn) if you have the need. *smiles*

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

well, you're a very good listener and if you're wondering what it was that causes people to trust you, try "all of the above" option for those that you listed down. thanks for the support yesterday and today (and the numerous occasions before). it really made a difference yesterday as i was about to give up.

*hugs* you rock!

Zzzyun said...

terima kasih banyak banyak 4 ur compliments! :D

"all of the above" option? lol. but that might be the best answer of all. hmmm.. interesting thought. now why didn't i think of it...

and you're welcome!! ^v^ it's always been my pleasure to help & be there for you since you're a great help to me too (though you might not know it)...

hehe, still rmb the circumstances that made us become closer? funny isnt it how fate sometimes weave its way...